Pure, innocent, noble-hearted boy! This boy rose to a glory that rang through the records of the small town and school! His name remained a byword for excellence for years after his graduation!
Was he a good student? Yes!
Was he kind to his peers? Yes!
Did he please his parents and make them proud? Yes!
Did he support his school's athletic teams and display school spirit? Yes!
He attended every school dance and celebrated in rapture the joy of being a vibrant, handsome young man who could dance with any young lady of his choosing.
In truth, he seemed quiet and reserved at times. Did this stop him from having girlfriends? No! He had girlfriends - attractive girlfriends!
He was short in stature and humble and yet he became a champion wrestler!
He sought glory for his school. He valued the admiration of his family and peers. He carried himself with dignity and respect.
To this day, people may still proclaim the grandeur of this young man that represented his school and community so well!
And, what to be said of adolescence itself? Those glorious teenage years. Those magnificent days of high school. One gets to test his mettle with challenging academics. One can involve herself in any number of delightful extracurricular activities. One can attend school dances and other functions. Perhaps one finds his first love. Perhaps she experiences her first kiss. Perhaps one tries an innocent taste of alcohol or puff of a cigarette just to see what all the fuss is about. Lifelong friendships are made. One is prepared for college or to enter the work force. A boy becomes a man. A girl becomes a woman. Hearts are broken and yet sometimes high school sweethearts get married. What a wondrous time!
* * * *
I laid it on a bit thick, didn't I?
Actually...
I wanted to be popular but was only semi-popular. I wanted to dress stylishly but often failed. I wanted well-coiffed hair but could never seem to find the right look. I wanted to be buff and handsome. I wanted to be a guy you'd think twice about before messing with. I wanted to be suave and cool. I wanted to be a babe magnet. I wanted to be a ladies' man. I wanted to be like James Bond. He was tough, intelligent, and always got the girl. Sometimes I had dates that went badly. Sometimes I got dumped. Sometimes I went out with friends and girlfriends but sometimes I sat at home alone. I was often too scared to ask a girl to dance. My study habits were woeful and my grades were mediocre. I went to most football games but was more interested in talking to females than watching football. My peers may have wondered why I was so quiet. To some I may have seemed aloof. Thankfully I had friends and peers who appreciated my friendliness and good sense of humor. My parents loved me and worried about me. But, I could engender my parents' frustration as well as pride. I wanted a Monte Carlo with a cassette player, a car I would pick my girlfriend up in and then drive 110 mph to impress her. It's okay. I liked the hatchback I shared with my sister and I got to drive my parents' Pontiac Bonneville with FM radio a lot. I wanted to go to the mall on Saturday instead of work on our farm. I wanted to go to the movies. I wanted to devour entire pizzas. I wanted popularity. I wanted to be a champion. I wanted to be admired. I wanted to be respected. I was fueled by ambition, desire, naivety, testosterone, MTV, FM radio, the hard rock music of AC/DC, John Hughes movies, cheeseburgers, and soda pop.
Those teenage years can be challenging if not downright traumatizing for some. It's a wonder any of us survive.
I did some things during adolescence that I regretted and wasn't proud of even as I did them. I wasn't pure, innocent, or noble. I got into trouble sometimes. I like to think I was a good person most of the time. But, I made plenty of mistakes on my journey trying to become a man.
In short, I was an American teenage boy.
* * * *
You encounter a lot of new situations and experience a lot of emotions when you're a teenager.
To wit...
Elation
I'm driving along Highway 51 on my way to Postville. I'm in my parents' Pontiac Bonneville going 110 mph. Just kidding, Mom. I was probably only going 60. The radio is set on WIZM-FM (93.3 FM). We simply call this radio station broadcasting from Lacrosse, Wisconsin, Z-93.
I like my parents' car because it has FM radio and big seats that work well for having premarital sex with your girlfriend. Oh Christ, I'm just joking. Sort of.
My sister and I share a red Mercury Bobcat. It has a manual transmission (i.e. stick shift), no power steering, and an AM radio. We even found a rear-view mirror charm (or perhaps it's simply an ornament) that resembles a miniature mug of beer which seems cool and rebellious. The Bobcat is amazing! Still, if I can borrow my parents' car I often do.
Where was I going? A friend's house? A party? A sporting event? I don't recall.
What I do remember is the theme song from the TV show Miami Vice coming on the radio. Normally, I wouldn't be that interested in a TV show theme song. But, this one is pretty good. As I listen to the song I can also picture the show's opening credits sequence. The show is popular and everyone thinks that stylishly dressed undercover police officers Crockett and Tubbs are cool.
So, as I drive along listening to the theme song I become an undercover officer. I'll be the cool, well-dressed detective kicking ass tonight. Look out 'cause here I come!
The sun is just beginning to set. It's a warm, beautiful night. I'm young and full of energy and off for a night of adventure. I am euphoric and simply happy to be young and alive. I am naïve to be sure but at that moment I don't have a care in the world.
Shock
My older sister and I went to a movie called My Tutor the summer after my freshman year. I guess she was bored and her boyfriend wasn't around so we went to a movie. The movie was rated R and I was only 16 but the theater wasn't exactly meticulous when it came to checking I.D.
At some point in the movie our hero Bobby is taken by some friends to a brothel to lose his virginity. He's in a room with a busty woman who's wearing what I think might be called a halter dress. She begins to undo some buttons on her dress and starts pulling the top slowly down. I thought surely the camera was going to cut away before I saw anything. But, no. She pulled the top of her dress down to reveal her bosom.
I don't think I said anything like, "Oh, my God!" I don't think I even let out an audible gasp. My sister claims I looked like a cartoon character with my jaw dropping and my eyes bugging out. She thought it was pretty funny.
That same summer I was with my sister on another occasion. We were visiting a neighbor boy who was about our age. He may have had a friend with him as well who was hot for my sister. At any rate, we all ended up outside by the neighbor boy's car for some reason. At some point he was sitting in the car and opened the glove box. Perhaps he was looking for something. Regardless, when he opened the glove box it contained a box of 12 condoms. Or, perhaps it was even more. I was stunned. I knew he was probably having sex with his girlfriend but not that much. I just couldn't fathom a teenager having sex so often that he needed to buy condoms in bulk.
I was more of a buy-one-condom-at-a-time guy. A few of us were dating Waukon girls at one point and we use to stop at this convenience store that had a bathroom with a condom vending machine. It cost 50 cents for a condom as I recall. You had to ask for the key to use the restroom. So, we would challenge each other to walk up to the checkout counter, slap a dollar bill on the counter, and ask for four quarters and the key to the restroom. Ha! Well, it seemed funny at the time. The female cashier had to know what we were doing, right?
Maybe she was just happy were practicing safe sex.
I went with a couple of buddies to the state wrestling tournament one year. We decided we might get lucky with some girls so we thought we should by some condoms to be prepared just in case. I believe we bought a 12-pack of condoms so we each had four. Not surprisingly not one of us used a single condom on that trip.
Joke:
A teenage boy buys condoms for the first time.
The cashier says, "That'll be $9.95 plus tax."
Horrified, the boy exclaims, "Tacks! I thought they stayed on by themselves!"
Another Joke:
A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in
packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've
been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the
condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having
dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a
feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll
want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to
dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give
the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues
praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over and says, "You
never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans
over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is
a pharmacist."
Rage
I already had my driver's license as a sophomore so sometimes people wanted a ride. I was in town on a Friday night and was about to give Todd a ride home when two freshman girls came running over saying, "Give us a ride to Doug's place. He's having a party."
I wasn't assertive enough to give a firm "no" although I may have resisted a bit. They just hopped in the back seat of the car at some point and I didn't have the will to say, "Get out of my car!" Todd got into the passenger seat and
we took off out of town.
I knew where the party was but I was driving along at a good clip and accidently went flying by Doug's house.
"Hey, stop! You missed his driveway!" the girls yelled.
Well, now I'd had enough. Obviously I knew I'd passed his house and I was going to turn around. But, now I stopped and before turning around I had a few words to say.
"Shut up! Shut the hell up! I didn't even want to bring you out here but you railroaded me into it. So, shut up!"
Dead silence. I was a quiet guy and no one had ever seen me blow up like that before. I turned around and drove into Doug's driveway and the girls got out.
I think Todd was surprised too although I think he also thought it was funny and perhaps he was even proud of me.
"Good job, man. Way to tell them off. You don't have to take shit from those damn bratty girls," he said.
Jealousy
Anne and I went to a wedding dance at a place called the Opera House in Waukon. One of Anne's unattractive female friends was there as well. And, one of the young men there we learned was a Norwegian foreign exchange student that would be attending Anne's high school.
Anne and I chatted with her friend and the Norwegian guy. Anne leaned over and whispered to me, "I really want to get to know him."
What the hell is that supposed to mean? What do you mean you really want to get to know him? Are you hot for this Norwegian guy? I thought.
Then a bit later she leaned over again and informed me that the Norwegian had asked her to dance. "You don't mind do you?"
Hell yes I minded! And, I now wanted to beat the shit out of the European bastard. Get your own damn girlfriend, you foreign prick!
But, of course, I said I didn't mind. Anne and the Norwegian stepped onto the dance floor and then Anne's unattractive friend asked me to dance. I acquiesced and joined her on the dance floor. I even smiled and pretended like I was having a fun time. I know you probably think I'm mean calling the girl unattractive. What can I say? Teenage boys can be jerks. I wanted to be dancing with my girlfriend.
After the dance, I never told Anne about my feelings. I didn't express my anger or my jealousy. Back then I wasn't even capable of saying something as simple as, "I feel..."
I did write her a letter though telling her how jealous I had been. Anne liked my letter. She liked that I was expressing my feelings even if it was in writing. Maybe she was even happy to hear that I had been jealous. I'm sure she told me I had nothing to worry about and that I was still her guy.
Anger
Anne and I had gotten back together after she'd dumped me and went with someone else to prom. She attended high school in a different town. I went to her house to pick her up for a date one evening and her dad answered the door. I think he informed me that I was supposed to pick her up at the Dew Drop Inn, a local drive-in restaurant.
So, I drove to Dewey's to pick her up. Some local teens were hanging out by the door. I didn't really want to have to pass by these guys to get into the restaurant. I didn't know them and I realized I might be dressed like a sissy. I had on some sort of black, shiny nylon pants and a black polo shirt with red trim on the sleeves and a red collar. I looked fine but perhaps not to these guys wearing jeans and t-shirts. They were going to say, "Hey, pretty boy. Where do you think you're going?"
The newspaper headline would read:
Local Thugs Beat Postville Teen Within An Inch of His Life for Daring to Come to Their Turf Dressed Like a Dandy
"Hey, he had it coming," say local thugs.
I finally got out of the car and headed toward the entrance. I walked by the thugs and they didn't even look at me. When I got inside I looked around and, of course, Anne was nowhere to be found. Then I saw a girl I knew named Kari.
"Hey, have you seen Anne?" I asked.
Kari stood there a moment looking up at the ceiling like she was racking her brain trying to come up with an answer.
"Oh, you're supposed to drive around town and look for her," she finally answered.
"Drive around town?"
"Yeah, she got into a car with some other girls to cruise. So, you're supposed to drive around until you find them."
Now I was getting pissed. What kind of wild goose chase was this?
Now I could have just said "f*ck it" and drove home. But, of course, I grudgingly began driving around town. I wasn't exactly sure what the local "loop" was that teens cruised on. I stuck to driving on main street for a while.
I saw Jenny and a friend driving around too. I didn't really know Jenny. I knew her name and that she was beautiful and a lot of guys were hot for her. I think she had a bit of a "reputation" as the saying goes. I think she recognized me too and smiled and waved. I think we even stopped in the same parking lot at some point.
Maybe I should ask Jenny and her friend to get into my car. Maybe we can have fun together tonight since Anne doesn't seem to want to be with me. Maybe Jenny and I can have a lot of fun. We'll see how Anne likes that.
But, no. I just kept driving around. I drove into the Pamida parking lot. I sat for a bit and then started driving toward the exit to begin another loop. Then I noticed a car full of girls racing toward me. Anne was in the front seat with a big smile on her face. She got out of the car and walked over and got in with me.
She said we were going to meet some couple at the drive-in theater in Decorah. So, I got on highway 9 and started heading west.
"Are you mad?" she asked.
"No," I replied.
"I wanted to hang out with some friends for a while. What's wrong with that?" she asked.
I was thinking I didn't appreciate going on a f*cking wild goose chase! That's what's wrong!
But, I just said, "Nothing."
We got to the drive-in and hopped in the car with Tim and Sheila or whatever their names were. At some point Tim and Sheila stopped watching the movie and started making out. I tried to kiss Anne but she basically pushed me away.
Of course a girl doesn't owe me a kiss even if she's my girlfriend but I'm not an idiot either. I asked her what was wrong more than once.
Finally she said, "I want to break up."
She'd broken up with me in the past. She'd even broken up with me a few months before prom and went to prom with one of my classmates. We'd only been back together for a little while. Not that long ago she'd made it a point to tell me she would NEVER break up with me again.
Heartache
When we got back to Anne's house we talked for a little while in her driveway.
"Are you saying you NEVER want to go out with me again? Do you really mean it this time?" I asked.
She sighed and quietly said, "Yes."
One last kiss goodbye and I left.
I wrote her a letter and told her never to call or write me because it would make it that much harder to get over her. She called me two weeks later. I didn't mind. I didn't really mean what I wrote in the letter anyway.
We tried "going out" allowing us to see one another as well as other people. That never works because people just end up jealous and hurt.
We never totally lost contact with each other but I knew we'd never get back together.
Road Trip
Brian and I were headed to the AC/DC concert in Cedar Rapids during the fall of my senior year. We decided to go down the night before and stay with his older brother in the Iowa City area.
We bought a pack of cigarettes to smoke on the ride to Iowa City even though neither of us were smokers. We smoked a couple a piece just because it seemed like the thing to do.
Was there any alcohol in the car? How dare you suggest such a thing.
We listened to a Beatles cassette on the drive to his brother's place.
When we got to his brother's place we went and bought some beer. We rented a VCR and some VHS tapes. I think we watched Pink Floyd - The Wall and The Wanderers. We attempted to watch a pornographic movie but the playback speed was too fast for some reason. We decided watching sped up porn wasn't enjoyable so we shut it off.
I learned what a beer bong was that night.
The next morning I think people were getting excited about the Iowa Hawkeyes football game. I recall a young woman walking into Brian's brother's apartment that morning. She sat down on the couch and took out a small baggie. Later Brian informed me it was pot which was what I was thinking it might be.
Brian and I went to Ponderosa or Bonanza for the lunch buffet and then to the mall.
I refused to drink any alcohol that day even though we were headed to a hard rock concert. Since I wasn't drinking I got to drive to Cedar Rapids. We picked up a couple hitchhiking along the way. Brian offered them a smoke. When the guy found out we merely had cigarettes and not some other substance he declined. He said he already had cigarettes.
The concert at the Five Seasons Center was good. We were even on the floor fairly close to the stage for a while. I swear I saw some guy take out a small vial and snort some cocaine but maybe I was imagining things. Brian urged me to buy a t-shirt or something. So, I bought a bandana as a memento of the concert and our road trip.
Sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. And, hitchhikers. I guess my dad was justified in not being too enthusiastic about me going to some concert in Cedar Rapids. Too late to punish me now, right?
The AC/DC concert was the only major concert at a large venue I went to during high school. I wasn't much into concerts. I do regret missing REO Speedwagon and Night Ranger when they had stops in Iowa in 1985.
I saw BJ Thomas in 1985 with one or both of my sisters at Luther College. It was a good concert. But, our attendance was bittersweet. My parents were supposed to have went but my grandfather passed away right around that time so they decided to skip the concert. But, they still thought it would be nice for someone to use the tickets so that's how I ended up seeing country singer B.J. Thomas. He is famous for recording the song "Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head."
I believe I also saw a Christian rock band called AD in 1985 with my church youth group at Luther College as well. AD had two former members from the group Kansas which made them seem interesting. I don't think they played any Kansas songs. I actually remember a song by another band that performed with them called "Sin's a Losing Game."
My girlfriend and I discussed seeing Night Ranger in concert when the song "Sister Christian" was quite popular. I had classmates who saw them perform. But, any plans that my girlfriend and I had to see them never came to fruition.
A few guys I knew saw Def Leppard during the summer of 1983 when they were hugely popular. Some of the guys bought the Union Jack (i.e. the national flag of the United Kingdom) concert t-shirts which I thought were pretty cool.
On a youth group trip, Darren and I each bought an American flag t-shirt which seemed just as cool.
Joy
I had the good fortune to wrestle four years on the varsity squad in high school. Of course the only reason I made the varsity team as a freshman was because the upperclassman at my weight broke his collar bone early in the season.
Nonetheless, I rose to the challenge. I placed third in the conference tournament as a freshman and felt quite proud of myself.
My sophomore was disappointing. I could have won the conference tournament if I had wrestled well. I was defeated in the second round by a "referee's decision" which basically means the match ended in a tie and I lost on criteria. My opponent had scored the first takedown in the match so the match went to him. Then in the consolation round I was defeated by the wrestler who was supposed to have won the title but he too had unexpectedly lost in the second round. I had twice defeated the wrestler who ended up getting second that day. I had to settle for fourth which was rather painful knowing I had the talent and skills to have won it all.
My junior year I placed second. It was nice to earn a medal and yet I could have won the title. I got the first takedown and was leading most of the match but ended up losing by a point or two at the end.
During my senior season, I was pinned in a meet about two weeks before the conference tournament. Getting pinned is the worst thing that can happen in a wrestling match. Guess who I met in the finals at the conference tournament? Yes, the guy who had pinned me two weeks earlier. Did I win? Yes! I won the match in dominant fashion. My sister was right by the mat after I won.
"I can't believe I'm conference champion," I said.
I walked up into the bleachers where my parents were sitting and hugged my mom.
I had finally proven I was the best and was filled with joy.
Redemption
I placed third in the sectional tournament during my sophomore year only to see a guy I had defeated twice during the regular season qualify for the district tournament.
During my junior year, I won sectionals but then placed third in districts. I was seeded first and was supposed to win it all but I lost a close match in the first round after leading the first two periods. I won the second match in overtime and I could still have qualified for state. But, in my final match I lost badly to someone I had defeated twice earlier in the season.
It was devastating. I was sad, angry, ashamed. I cried. The idea of taking my life crossed my mind briefly.
Should I even bother to wrestle my senior year? I wondered.
Of course I still wrestled. I won the conference. I won sectionals. And, then I won districts in dominating fashion and qualified for state.
After winning my final match at districts, I didn't run off the mat and jump into my coach's arms. I simply walked off the mat and shook my coach's hand and said, "Finally."
I felt vindicated. I had proven I was a talented, hard-working wrestler. I was the best wrestler at least on that day. I had shown my coach, parents, peers, teammates, and my community that I was the best. I didn't choke this time. I dominated and left no doubt I deserved to be standing on top of the awards podium. I was redeemed.
Miscellany
One evening I went through the McDonald's drive-thru with two other guys (let's call them Brad and Darren). Brad was driving. Darren was on the passenger side and I was seated in the middle. A female voice asked us what we'd like to order. Darren was being boisterous and began yelling his order from the passenger side seat. Soon, a manger told us over the speaker that we needed to settle down or they weren't going to serve us.
"Oh, yeah, right!" yelled Darren.
"That's it we're not serving you," said the manager sharply.
Brad looked at us and then turned back to the speaker and said, "Oh yeah? Well, f*ck you."
Then Brad sped away as the manager came running out to try to get our license plate number.
They are hot-tempered, and quick-tempered, and apt to give way to their anger; bad temper often gets the better of them, for owing to their love of honor they cannot bear being slighted, and are indignant if they imagine themselves unfairly treated. - Aristotle
I got to attend the National FFA Convention as a freshman. Perhaps the vocational agriculture teacher thought I'd learn something or perhaps he thought I'd be better behaved on the trip than some of my classmates. I was a bit concerned about missing wrestling practice for a few days but I wasn't going to turn down a trip to Kansas City.
I suppose I should have been focused on agriculture and how amazing it was to see other FFA members from around the nation. But, mainly I was interested in meeting girls and getting to eat out in restaurants at every meal. I met some girls who happened to be from a nearby school. It was fun meeting them and I would see them again at FFA events back in our home area. Our group also met a couple of guys from another FFA chapter, one of whom was interested in one of the freshman females in our group. I also remember being at the convention center and sharing some nachos with Jamie. Nachos had become a concession stand staple by the 1980s and were quite popular. One evening some of the guys and I walked from the motel to a nearby convenience store to see if we could purchase a girlie magazine but I think we were too chicken to even try to purchase one. I do seem to recall Jamie asking the seedy looking guy behind the counter if he recommended any adult magazine in particular. We even planned to say it was someone's birthday and that we wanted to purchase the magazine as a gift. Why the hell didn't we just try to buy one? The worst the dude could have done was said "No" and asked us to leave the premises.
I quit FFA after my sophomore year. No more blue corduroy jacket for me. I did learn a few things in vocational agriculture though and FFA also taught me about proper parliamentary procedure which I have never forgotten.
I went on a trip with my church youth group each summer. Don't ask me to help set up a tent because I won't be of much assistance. I would never make it in the wild. I can hardly handle sleeping in a sleeping bag in a tent. On one trip Darren, David, and I all slept in a pup tent designed to sleep one person. It was cozy. We joked around and talked a lot about girls as you can imagine.
We went to places like Adventure Land and Valley Fair and we always had a fun time although I'm not sure how fun it was for the pastor or youth group leaders.
During my senior year, I went to pick up Juha (a Finnish foreign exchange student) one evening. He answered the door with a red bandana tied around his head. He smiled and said, "This bandana is to remind me that tonight is all about partying!"
He was a nice guy. At Homecoming that year he retied my tie for me because evidently I hadn't done it correctly.
He had a habit of coming to class late and then knocking on the door. Our teacher would sort of laugh because the door was never locked and say, "Come in."
I felt bad for Juha because in Finland all the males had to serve some time in the military. General conscription I think it's called.
I'm sure his period of military service went fine. I think he'd accepted it and felt it was his duty. After that he probably went to university and then probably became a happily married man with a fulfilling career.
The year before that we had Lill of Norway and Gunnar of Sweden. Lill wrote something in Norwegian in my yearbook which I have yet to translate. Perhaps she wrote that I was the most handsome American male she'd ever seen. It's possible.
Graduation
Some senior girls had put up a sign that read SENIORITIS. Senioritis is an affliction of students in their final year of high school. It's supposed to be funny. But, as I recall, the sign bugged the hell out of my senior classmate Tim and he threatened to tear the damn thing down.
On my last day as a senior, we were allowed to leave early as I recall. I got into Brad's car so we could cruise for a while. He turned on the radio and I swear to God that "School's Out" by Alice Cooper came on. We looked at each other in astonishment.
"No way!"
What were the chances that song would be playing on our last day of high school?
Neither Brad nor I were going to be giving a commencement speech although we joked about it. We decided if we did it might go something like this:
"You know I had this speech prepared." Then crumple prepared speech and toss it aside. "But, I really only have one thing to say to all of you. F*ck you!"
We actually liked the students and faculty and community but we just thought it would amusing to do something so unexpected and rebellious.
I walked the wrong way during the commencement ceremony which was really embarrassing but thankfully not all of my classmates followed me and perhaps not too many people noticed.
High school was over. No tears were shed. Graduation party at home. Then most of us ended up at a party at Jeff's house. I was ready to move on. One last summer on the farm and then off to college.
* * * *
List of Some Items I Had in High School
Levi jeans
Lee jeans
Tan (khaki) pants
Polo shirts
Button-down Oxford shirts
T-shirts - including wrestling t-shirts, one printed with the words Postville Wrestling is For Studs
Nylon Postville Wrestling jacket
Black and red letter jacket
Tan Members Only jacket (actually it was probably a knockoff but that style)
Black leather jacket (I bought it on sale at a mall and only wore it a couple of times)
Light blue tweed sport coat
Light blue knit tie
Off-white blazer my mother sewed for me
Puma athletic shoes
Nike athletic shoes
Boat shoes
Class ring
Red nylon sports wallet with Velcro closure
Picture of my girlfriend
Several copies of Sports Fitness magazine (now defunct)
Magnavox boom box (portable stereo)
Music cassettes and blank cassettes for recording
Small pair of plastic dumbbells
Brut Cologne
Some Trojan condoms (just in case)
Some Favorite Things in High School
Home football games
Homecoming parade
Homecoming Dance
Sweetheart Dance
Home basketball games
Watching Debbie play six-on-six basketball
Wrestling season
Asics Tiger Dan Gable Super Flex wrestling shoes
White Oxford button-down shirt
Blue and white university stripe Oxford button-down shirt
Blue jeans
Green "army" pants (I wanted a pair of green army pants or something along those lines when I was a freshman. My mom finally found a pair in Waukon. I think they had a 27 inch waist. I was a small guy, huh?)
Teen dances at various venues
Movies at the theater
Family dinners
Going to church on Sunday
Sunday picnics
Brunch at Livingood's
Mabe's Pizza
Breakfast at The Grill after wrestling weigh-in
Lil' Ole's
Casey's red hot burritos
Rectangular slabs of pizza in the lunchroom
Baling hay on the farm
Going to the county fair
Summer youth group trips
Going to the World Dairy Expo in Madison, WI
Going to Valley View Mall in La Crosse, WI
Cruising with friends and drinking root beer (wink wink)
Watching Family Ties, Cheers, Moonlighting, and the Smurfs
Friday Night Videos
Saturday Night Live
Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Return of the Jedi, The Karate Kid, Vision Quest, Commando, First Blood, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Rocky IV
Listening to country music while milking cows
Listening to vinyl records, 8-track tapes, cassettes, and FM radio
Listening to American Top 40 with Casey Kasem counting down the hits
Loverboy, The Cars, The Police, .38 Special, Journey, Madonna, AC/DC
Listening to Paul Harvey
The Mirror (our school yearbook)
The JC Penney and Sears catalogs
Prom
Parties at the bridge
Steaming up the car windows with my girlfriend (if you know what I mean)
* * * *
Bildungsroman
A Bildungsroman is a literary genre that focuses on the psychological and moral growth of the protagonist from youth to adulthood, in which character change is important. The story deals with one's formative years. A coming-of-age story if you will.
The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger is a good example.
Personally, I enjoyed the books of Henry Gregor Felsen such as Hot Rod and Street Rod.
And, of course, many of us enjoyed the books of S. E. Hinton like Rumble Fish and The Outsiders.
Coming-of-age films fall into this category as well.
An idiom sometimes used to describe teens is to say they are full of piss and vinegar (i.e. full of energy, vigor). Sometimes this youthful energy is accompanied by bravado and rowdiness. Yes, sometimes teens walk with a swagger and disturb the peace. It's in their nature. And, older people don't always appreciate it.
People observing youthful exuberance and boldness is nothing new.
"Young people are high-minded because they have net yet been humbled by life, nor have they experienced the force of circumstances. They think they know everything, and are always quite sure about it." - Aristotle 4th Century BC
Did I ever mature and find answers to life's questions? Did I grow psychologically and morally?
I'm not Jewish so I never had a bar mitzvah ceremony after which my community declared, "You are now a man." I was raised a Christian and had a Confirmation ceremony when I was a freshman in high school. But confirmation is not about maturity or an indication one has reached adult status.
No one handed me a toga to put on and said, "You have now reached manhood."
I was able to legally drive at age 16. I legally became an adult at age 18.
I graduated from high school. But did that make me a mature adult?
What about rites of passage?
I wasn't raised to be a Spartan warrior. I didn't have to live off the land in the countryside in solitude for one year to test my resourcefulness and self-reliance.
Did I become a man at some point?
I experienced the thrill of victory by winning gold medals. But, I also experienced the agony of defeat. I experienced the euphoria of first love. I experienced the pain of getting dumped.
At home on the farm, my father gave me increasing amounts of responsibility whether I wanted it or not.
I suppose I slowly learned to cope with life's challenges. I began to learn what was truly important to me as I matured.
When did I become a man? Or haven't I? When I came back home for a visit after beginning college my father asked my mother, "What happened to my boy?"
I guess I must have grown up a little bit by just having to live somewhere else and be a bit more self-reliant.
Nostalgia
Why am I so nostalgic about the teen years? I'm no fool. I know that for some the teen years were years of suffering that they couldn't wait to be done with.
I heard a comedian tell a story about how the school principal or guidance counselor told him he should enjoy his high school years.
"These are the best years of your life," he was told.
If these are the best years of my life then kill me now. That's what the future comedian was thinking.
I had a high school classmate who was killed in a car accident near my home the summer after my first year of college. I didn't think much about it at the time. It was a shock and sad of course. It was kind of strange with the accident happening so close to my own home. But, I'd had other schoolmates die during high school. I'd accepted that was part of life.
But, when I read her obituary now it hits me harder. I realize she was only nineteen. She would have turned twenty a few months later. I can't believe how young she was with so many years ahead of her.
I will likely never be married or be a parent. I doubt I will ever have a so-called "career." Because of health issues, I feel at times I was cheated out of a normal adulthood. Where's my white picket fence, wife, and two and a half kids?
Did I never grow up? Am I just longing for the glory days?
Epilogue
Perhaps I have grown up. I've reached the age where sometimes I begin a sentence with, "When I was your age..."
Sometimes I forget how old I am.
"Who's Madonna?" you ask.
"You're telling me you've never heard of Daryl Hall and John Oates?"
"Saturday Morning Cartoons?"
"What's a typewriter?"
"A telephone attached to the wall with a cord?"
Sometimes I forget that teens and even young adults have never seen the sitcom Cheers. And, what they might know as Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope was simply Star Wars to me when it came to theaters back in 1977. They might know who Princess Leia, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo are but can't really appreciate what those characters meant to my generation. They know what cartoons are of course. But, they can't appreciate that Saturday mornings used to be dominated by cartoons from Hanna-Barbera, Warner Bros., and Filmation.
Of course, I can't truly appreciate the significance of Rebel Without a Cause even though I've seen the movie. I know who Annette Funicello is but I can't truly appreciate all the young men of her generation that must have had a crush on her. I like to listen to Frank Sinatra. But can I truly appreciate that a bunch of young ladies used to faint when seeing him sing?
I still enjoy teen movies. That hasn't changed although I still think the teen movies of the 1980s were the best. Sure, some young people have seen The Breakfast Club but it probably seems kind of quaint and funny to them and doesn't have quite the impact for them as it did for my generation.
Why do I like teen movies so much? Why does the coming-of-age story appeal to me? Actually, Andy Hardy movies were very popular back in the 1930s and 1940s with viewers so perhaps everyone likes to see teenagers having fun and getting into mischief until they finally mature and grow up.
Their lives are mainly spent not in memory but in expectation; for expectation refers to the future, memory to the past, and youth has a long future before it and a short past behind it: on the first day of one's life one has nothing at all to remember, and can only look forward. - Aristotle
But, that doesn't mean I want to be a teen again or that I never criticize the younger generation from time to time. As for texting on a smart phone and other parts of teen culture I say, "No thank you."
I'll just be content to keep getting older and wiser.
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