The Farm Boy Handbook – Clothing Section

Farm Boy
Noun
1. a boy who has grown up on a farm

Farmer

Noun
1. a person who operates or manages a farm

Rural

Adjective
1. of, relating to, or characteristic of the country
2. of or relating to people who live in the country: rural households
3. of or relating to farming; agricultural

 

 



While perusing the pages of The Official Preppy Handbook one day and learning about preppy fashion and its association with students from elite prep schools in the Northeast I began to think about my own upbringing and some of the clothes that I wore.

While at school I too wore some clothes that might be classified as preppy. But, I grew up on a farm and farm work entailed wearing a different wardrobe. 

I got to thinking about the clothes I wore when doing chores and farm work. I also began to consider what someone would have to wear to pass himself off as a true farm boy. For example, what if an undercover agent wanted to pass himself off as real farm boy? I'm not sure why an undercover agent would be trying to pass himself off as a farm boy but that was part of my thought process. Or, perhaps a city boy wants to meet some real country gals so he decides he needs to pass himself off as a real farm boy.

At any rate, if I was writing a book called, for example, The Official Farm Boy Handbook, the section on clothing might look something like the following.

Basics

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If your only knowledge of farm clothing comes from Hollywood movies or watching Hee Haw and The Dukes of Hazzard reruns then I'm going to educate you in the field of farm apparel.

For the farm boy, clothing is about function over form. Farm boy clothes are sensible. Farm boy clothes are practical. Every item he wears serves a purpose. He wears clothes that help him do his work and protect him in his work environment. Comfort and convenience may come into play but style is rarely a concern.

Sometimes chore clothes don't start out as chore clothes. Sometimes the Levis a farm boy wears to school eventually become his chore jeans. Perhaps a t-shirt becomes faded but can still be used as a work shirt. Sometimes a farm boy buys an article of clothing specifically for farm work but not always. 

So, what sartorial staples should be in the farm boy's wardrobe? First off, sartorial means “of or relating to clothing or style or manner of dress.” But if you want to pass for a true farm boy don't use the word “sartorial.” Now, let's discuss the clothes a typical farm boy might wear.

Overalls (bib overalls, bibs)

 

 

I'll start with overalls because they're the clothing item most associated with farmers.

I dated a classy gal in college who thought she might enjoy spending a summer working on my family's farm. She reasoned that she had a pair of designer overalls and she could wear those on the farm and she'd be prepared for whatever task she might have to endure.

Of course the wearing of a pair of bib overalls doesn't qualify one for farming any more than wearing surgical scrubs and a mask qualifies one to perform brain surgery. I wanted to point out to her that wearing bib overalls was a stereotype and that she was being offensive. But, I didn't because she kind of had a point. 

My two grandfathers were both farmers and wore overalls as did my father most every day when doing his farm work. 

My father and my maternal grandfather both wore blue denim overalls. My paternal grandfather wore overalls in a type of cloth or design known as hickory stripe. And, yes it's permissible to wear a dress shirt and tie with your overalls on special occasions as did my Grandpa Lloyd.

Some brands of overalls are Key, Big Smith, and Dickies. 

Why do farm boys wear them? Because, they are comfortable yet rugged. And, they have plenty of pockets to hold tools and anything else a farmer might need such as his red bandana. We'll discuss red bandanas a bit later. 

Shirts

 

During warmer weather a simple cotton t-shirt will be comfortable to wear. It may or may not have a breast pocket depending on the farmer's preference.

Blue chambray work shirts look great with overalls or Levi jeans. They're a classic for the farm boy wardrobe. 

 

A long-sleeved denim work shirt can be worn as well. A farm boy can wear his denim shirt with his overalls or Levis. That's a lot of denim in one outfit but it works. By the way, if you want to pass as a true farm boy don't use the word “outfit” or “ensemble.”

Pendleton shirts come in a plaid design and are good looking dependable work shirts.

Flannel usually comes in a plaid design as well. For instance, one popular flannel design is buffalo check plaid. It's the kind of flannel shirt one would expect to see a lumberjack wear. Long-sleeved flannel shirts are a must for cooler weather. Flannel will keep one warm and comfortable. 

Crew neck sweatshirts can be a nice addition to the farm boy wardrobe as well during colder months.

Pants and Shorts

Previously, I mentioned the popularity of overalls. Nonetheless, overalls are not a required uniform of the farm boy. He has other options. For instance, he can wear jeans in lieu of overalls. Popular brands of jeans for the farm boy include Levi, Wrangler, and Lee.

Jeans as with overalls are rugged and make good chore pants. The farm boy doesn't want his legs scratched while carrying around hay bales. 

If you want to pass for a true farm boy do not wear two-hundred dollar designer jeans while doing chores.

Shorts are rarely worn by the farm boy. Even on hot days he's usually carrying things (e.g. hay and straw bales) or brushing up against wood or concrete surfaces. Or, he might find himself crawling through barbed wire fences and walking through the woods to fetch the cows at milking time. If one is simply driving a tractor for a long period of time (e.g. raking hay on a hot summer day) or putting a fresh coat of paint on the tool shed while standing in the hot sun then shorts might be permissible. 

You can milk cows while wearing shorts but I'd rather have my legs covered and protected. Plus, boots and shorts aren't really a great look unless you're in a punk rock or grunge band. But, if you are confident in your sartorial taste then go for it! 

Don't use the word sartorial!

Jackets and Outerwear

 

 

Get yourself an insulated chore coat. It might be an insulated denim jacket or it might be a heavy-duty coat made by Carhartt.

In warmer weather you might simply wear a zippered hooded sweatshirt or an unlined denim jacket.

Don't wear a Baracuta G9 Harrington jacket. Sure, they look cool but you're farming not posing for GQ. You're not James Dean or Steve McQueen after all. Although, James Dean did portray a ranch hand in the movie Giant. But, he didn't wear his Harrington jacket. I believe he wore what might be called a ranch coat. I think he also wore a denim work shirt, Lee Rider jeans, and cowboy boots. But, I digress.

A farm boy might wear coveralls. Coveralls are sometimes called boilersuits. Perhaps, he's worried about staining his new Wrangler jeans. Or, perhaps he dispenses with the jeans altogether and simply wears the coveralls. Insulated overalls and coveralls can add an extra layer of protection and warmth in colder weather. 

Rain gear might be a good idea. A farm boy has to do chores rain or shine. I never wore rain gear myself while growing up on the farm. If it rained I simply got soaked. But, I had plenty of blue jeans and t-shirts so I managed to get by without rain gear. A little rain doesn't bother a farm boy. It makes the corn grow taller! Still, a yellow slicker might have looked cool while keeping me dry.  

Underwear

I'm guessing there aren't a lot of farmers walking around with low-rise bikini briefs under their Wrangler jeans.

A pair of white cotton briefs are fine. If boxer shorts are your preference that works too.

Long underwear is ideal for cold Iowa winters. Long johns and union suits can give the farm boy an extra layer of warmth. Personally, I seldom wore long underwear because I'm a tough guy. Actually, I think a lot of layers just felt too bulky and uncomfortable so I sacrificed some warmth for comfort.

A flannel shirt over a long underwear shirt with your Levis and work boots is a nice look. Top it off with your insulated denim jacket and you'll be a darn fine looking farm boy.

Shoes

 

You need a good pair of work boots. You might drop a wrench on your foot or a cow might step on you. A popular brand of work boots is Red Wing. Interestingly, Timberland work boots became an icon of hip-hop style worn by many rappers.

Some farmers find cowboy boots to be comfortable and durable.

During the summer months an old pair of athletic shoes may become a farm boy's work shoes. Sneakers aren't the best choice for farm work but can be comfortable and provide some protection.

Do not wear sandals or flip flops. Don't go barefoot. If you're walking around barefoot on the farm and step on a nail you'll be sorry unless you enjoy pain and getting tetanus shots. 

You'll want a pair of waterproof rubber boots to put over your work boots to protect them. You never know when you might step in a water puddle, mud, or meadow muffin (cow pie).

During colder months you may choose to dispense with your work boots and rubber boots altogether and wear an insulated pair of rubber boots like Wellington boots.

Did you know that Lady Diana Spencer (future Princess Diana) used to wear Wellington boots (Wellies) on occasion?

 

Hats and Gloves

A farm boy needs a cap or hat to keep the sun out of his eyes while he's performing his

work in the hot summer sun. He might wear a baseball cap, straw hat, or cowboy hat.

During colder months he might wear a hat or cap with ear flaps or simply wear a knit stocking cap (i.e. watch cap, beanie).

A farm boy wants a general-purpose pair of chore gloves especially if he's baling hay. If you wear a pair of yellow chore gloves with red knit wrists (e.g. Wells Lamont Handy Andy Chore Gloves) you'll definitely look the part.

However, if your building fence and handling barbed wire you'll want a pair of leather work gloves.

Accessories

 

A farm boy only needs a few accessories:

• A pocket knife or Buck knife for cutting twine off hay and straw bales
• A pair of slip-joint pliers because one never knows when he'll need to tighten or loosen a bolt or screw or grip something or bend something; some can even be used to cut wire
• A leather plier holster to hold your pliers
• A wrist watch or pocket watch so you don't have to guess by the sun's position in the sky when it's time for lunch or to start evening chores; a Timex is fine but don't wear a Rolex or Cartier wrist watch that cost a few thousand dollars or you'll never pass as a true farm boy 
• If you're like my father you might carry a notebook and a pen to make lists of what you want to accomplish each day like going to the farmers cooperative, mending fence, cleaning the barn, etc.
• A red bandana is handy for wiping the sweat off of one's brow and may be used to wipe one's nose because a farm boy doesn't generally carry around a box of facial tissue while performing his duties. It's permissible to wear your bandana folded into a triangle and tied around your neck like a bandit if you need to keep chaff or dirt off of your neck or if you need to pull it up to cover your mouth and nose in a dusty situation. You're not allowed, however, to wrap your bandana around your head like a pirate. You're a farm boy not a pirate. You may be a buckaroo but you are not a buccaneer. 
• A pair of sunglasses might be in order since you may be in the hot sun a lot but they don't have to be Ray-Ban or Oakley

Off-Duty Clothing

If the farm boy is still in high school (no doubt a public school although perhaps a parochial school) then while at school he'll probably be wearing the same type of clothes as his peers. However, some farm boys do display their rural upbringing by wearing jeans, western shirts, and cowboy boots. He may also wear a western style braided belt with a large obnoxious belt buckle. Obnoxious was the word my high school girlfriend used when seeing such a belt on one of my classmates. She, of course, had not grown up on a farm and probably wasn't a rodeo fan.

A lot of farmers seem to have a fondness for western clothing. I have no evidence to back up this claim. It's just an observation. Some farmers do, of course, have horses on their farms so the wearing of cowboy boots seems natural and proper.

A farmer may certainly be found wearing a western style shirt or even a western suit to church on Sunday. I'm not saying you'd never see a farmer wear a thousand dollar Armani suit to church or on his Friday night dinner date but I kind of doubt it.

And, if the farm boy wears a bolo tie with his western suit? Sartorial splendor!

Perhaps he'll wear a nice western outfit to a barn dance, county fair, or the World Dairy Expo in Madison, Wisconsin.

I think a lot of farm boys enjoy country western music and western movies as well. 

Perhaps it's because farmers, ranchers, and cowboys all have a close connection to animals and the land. They all helped tame the wild west together.

In high school I dressed like most of my classmates. I did, however, occasionally wear a pair of turquoise cowboy boots with my blue jeans. And, I did wear a black and blue buffalo check flannel shirt sometimes.

So, basically anything goes when you're off-duty but most farm boys keep it pretty simple and it often still reflects their rural roots.

Clothing with Logos

 

 

I saved the best for last. Often a farm boy can be seen wearing clothing bearing the name of a company associated with agriculture. For instance, he might be wearing a cap with a Funk's G Hybrid logo on it. Perhaps a seed corn dealer gave him the cap for purchasing corn from his company. 

A farm boy might be seen wearing a quilted winter jacket bearing the logo of the cooperative to whom he sells his milk such as Wisconsin Dairies.

Maybe he has a knit stocking cap bearing the name Tri-State Breeders, Select Sires, or ABS. You see bull studs appreciate a farmer's patronage as well. I wore a Tri-State Breeders stocking cap to school sometimes when I was an elementary student. No one seemed to find it strange although one of my friends thought it was humorous that I had a hat with the word "breeders" on it.

One might also wear a cap bearing the logo of a farm implement company like John Deere. In the 1981 television film Bitter Harvest, Ron Howard portrays a dairy farmer and at times is seen wearing a John Deere cap.

I think it's these clothing items that can really set the true farm boy apart from an imposter. So, if you want to pass yourself off as a true farm boy then you might want to get your hands on some apparel connected to agriculture.

Final Thoughts

Now you  know what a real farm boy wears.  You know what to wear for chores in any kind of weather and what to wear when you go to the local honky-tonk. You can now pass yourself off as a real farm boy with ease.

 

 

 



 

 

 

Farewell Strange Rectangular Pizza - A Mock Commencement Speech

Although most seniors are more than ready to leave high school behind, there are actually a few things I will miss. 

For example, I'm going to miss that strange rectangular pizza they serve in the lunchroom. I'm not sure if the cafeteria staff buys it or makes it themselves but it's unlike any other pizza I've ever encountered anywhere else. I've been eating that pizza for the last twelve years and now I may never eat it again. And, I will miss other culinary delights from the cafeteria like jello jewels and shrimp shapes. They're not really shrimp you know – just fish pressed into the form of a shrimp. And, I'll even miss those hamburger patties with the fake grill marks. 

I'll miss morning announcements. “Good morning students, it's time for morning announcements! The FHA is selling carnations this week for Valentine's Day. Buy carnations for your friends! Buy a carnation for your sweetie! Please bear in mind that a red carnation symbolizes admiration and says 'My heart aches for you.' So, if that girl you like has told you numerous times she only wants to be friends you might want to consider a pink carnation! And, remember there will be an assembly Thursday afternoon featuring a hypnotist and a pep rally this Friday morning for the basketball team! Have a great day!”

I'll miss my locker. It's the tiny piece of real estate you get to call your own while in high school.

I'll miss football games where I spent more time watching the cheerleaders than I did watching the game.

I'll miss basketball games and the smell of popcorn coming from the concession stand.

I'll miss the bawdy locker room banter. “You did what with whom? A supermodel? Come on man, I don't believe it!” And “Hey, leave my mother out of this!”

I'll miss reading magazines and the funny pages and staring at the wall in study hall when I could have been, you know, studying.

I'll miss all of those high school dances even though I only had a date for a few of them. Even when I didn't have a date I went anyway. You can't get rid of me that easily! You will see me dance whether you like it or not. I guess I always thought something special was going to happen at those dances. 

Maybe that girl who doesn't know I exist will suddenly notice me.

She'll approach me with the words, “Hey, stud. Who are you and where have you been all my life?”

“Well, actually I sit right behind you in General Business.”

Or, perhaps I thought one of my female classmates would introduce me to her cousin Inga visiting from Sweden.

“Hey, Tharin, this is my cousin Inga from Sweden and she's totally into quiet short guys.”

By the way, let me give you guys some advice. Don't ever ask a guy if you can dance with his girlfriend. Even if she told you to save her a dance and she assured you he'd be totally cool with it – he won't be. He'll give you the look of death. So, just don't. Trust me.

I'll miss those teen dances, especially the ones held at Dreamland Ballroom. Isn't that a great name for a dance hall? 

I'll also miss those high school parties where we drank all those glasses of...root beer. And, lemonade! Because we're underage and can't legally consume alcohol. And, we never did – ever! In fact, at most parties I attended we had cake and punch. 

And, the conversation at those parties was always so stimulating.

“Hey dude! How's it going?”

“Not bad. How about you?”

“Not bad.”

“I like your new car.”

“It's a Chevy Monte Carlo.”

“Awesome!”

“Let's get another glass of punch!”

I'll miss bi-level haircuts. But, let's face it. This stunning hairstyle isn't going to last. Fads come and go including the haircut that says “Business in front, Party in the back.”

The problem, you see, is that I like comfort. I like routine. I like familiarity. I don't like change. 

Is the college cafeteria going to have strange rectangular pizza? I don't think so.

They'll probably serve regular triangle cut pizza slices. 

They might even serve manicotti? What the heck is manicotti?

But, in order to grow and achieve goals in life we have to be uncomfortable at times. We have to change sometimes and break our routine and deal with unfamiliar things. That can be scary. But, embracing discomfort is crucial to growth and achieving success. 

Sure it was scary wrestling varsity the first time as a freshman. But, I got used to the pressures of competition and I developed a confident swagger by the time I was a senior.

It was scary asking a girl on a date the first time. It still is! But, that's why I need to keep doing it and being uncomfortable or I may never find that special someone.

I've embraced change occasionally during these last four years. You may recall me wearing cowboy boots on occasion even though I don't live on a ranch. You were all patient with me as I experimented with different hairstyles like the rat tail and that permanent. Seriously though, why didn't someone stop me from perming my hair?

I even had my hair cut short and spiky because I wanted to look like Billy Idol or that Russian boxer from Rocky IV but I never did – at all!

Nonetheless, the discomfort taught me to be cautious when it comes to one's hair.

Sure, Independent Living was a tough class. It was challenging and uncomfortable. But, now I know how to cook and sew. Well, sort of. Did you know that you have to make something called a white sauce if you're going to make your own macaroni & cheese from scratch? Do you know the difference between a spool of thread and a bobbin? 

Learning new things can be uncomfortable but also exciting. 

Forbes magazine tells me, “Those who are willing to take risks, step out of their comfort zone and into the discomfort of uncertainty will be those who will reap the biggest rewards.”

So, when we leave this place called high school we all need to embrace discomfort. We need to get comfortable with the unfamiliar.

I'll still miss that strange rectangular pizza though.

Thank you.

In the Eighties - A Stream of Consciousness List Essay

In the eighties I didn't realize the time period would become known as the era of glitz and greed and the decade of excess.  I became a teenager in 1980 and was mainly interested in attracting the opposite sex and being a wrestling champion.

Ronald Reagan was elected President in 1980. 

I remember power suits and "Greed is good."

I remember junk bonds.

I remember the United States boycotted the 1980 Summer Olympics to protest the Soviet invasion in Afghanistan.  Actually, I didn't really know why we were boycotting just that it had something to do with the evil Russians.  I didn't make a distinction between Soviet and Russian.  The Cold War was still going on and I was a little bit worried about nuclear war.

While I was in high school Mikhail Gorbachev became leader of the Soviet Union.  My social studies teacher seemed optimistic and hopeful about this change in leadership and I took some comfort in that. 

I didn't know what glasnost and perestroika meant.  In the late eighties we saw the beginnings of the dissolution of the Soviet Union and an end to the Cold War.  The Berlin wall was opened in November of 1989 and many East Germans flooded into West Germany.  I knew something historic was going on and it was a little hard to believe it was all really happening.

Years ealier I'd heard about the attempted assassination of President Reagan.  I was a seventh grader at the time.  Our school principal told some of us in the library what had happened and I felt assured that things would be okay.

Years later I began hearing about the Iran–Contra scandal but didn't understand the particulars.  I remember Oliver North and his secretary Fawn Hall being in the news.
 
I remember hearing about another secretary named Jessica Hahn and a sex scandal involving televangelist Jim Bakker.

I remember going to our Presbyterian church almost every Sunday.  I joined our church youth group when I was old enough.  Sometimes we would hold fund raisers like chili suppers.  We took trips during the summer to places like Adventureland, Valley Fair, and Wisconsin Dells.  I was confirmed by our church when I was a freshman in high school. 

Mount St. Helens erupted in Washington state in 1980.  My hormones started erupting a couple years later.

John Lennon was assassinated in New York City on December 8, 1980.  I'd been a Beatles fan from an early age.

Prince Charles and Lady Diana were married in 1981.

I became a high school freshman in the fall of 1982.  I had a girlfriend throughout most of the school year and I was on the varsity wrestling team so it would seem that my original scheme involving girls and wrestling was coming to fruition.

I had an older sister who was a junior.  She took me to a party once even though I was a freshman because she was a cool older sister.

I saw the movie My Tutor the summer after my freshman year.  I wasn't old enough to see but I did.  I enjoyed it.  Thank you, Kitten Natividad.  It's underrated.

I got drunk for the first time the summer after my freshman year.  I swore I would never drink again.  I did drink again.

Before meeting my girlfriend my freshman year I asked a classmate to the homecoming dance.  She turned me down because she was hoping to be noticed by a junior who was the starting quarterback on the football team.  I wanted to tell her it was a hopeless and stupid idea but was nice enough not to.

Interestingly, another freshman girl went to Prom that same year with a very popular senior boy she was hot for so I guess dreams can come true.

Good things were excellent and awesome.  Bad things were lame or bogus. 

Fresh meant cool or new.  My sister said a guy in college referred to her friend Karen as fresh.  He said, "I like you girl 'cause you're fresh." 

The word "choice" also meant cool.  I had a classmate who referred to her class ring as choice.  I told her that choice was a grade of beef and that she'd be better off calling her ring prime (like prime rib).  I'm just kidding.  I didn't really say that.  I was a rather shy and introverted boy in high school.

A conversation between a friend and me might go somehting like this:

Friend: How are you?
Me: Not too bad.
Friend: What's new?
Me: Nothing.
Friend: Okay, good talking to you.
 
I had to get braces when I was a freshman and they didn't come off until I was a senior.  I had a cowlick in my hair that really bothered me.  My nose was a bit crooked which bothered me as well.

I met a girl at a drive-in movie during my sophomore year of high school  who had scoliosis and wore a brace.  Eventually she didn't have to wear the brace.  Serendipity brought us together again one night during my junior year at a haunted house just before Halloween.  She had two friends with her and I had two friends with me.  We all went through the haunted house together and when we came out on the other side each boy was holding a girl's hand.

The word yuppie ("young urban professional" or "young upwardly-mobile professional") entered the lexicon.  Alex P. Keaton of Family Ties was determined to become a yuppie.  I liked Alex even though I didn't have his strong Republican politial leanings.  At that point in my life, I really didn't quite understand the difference between a conservative and a liberal.  I did wear a sweater vest occasionally like Alex.

I never read The Official Preppy Handbook.  I never even knew it existed.  Thus, I never exactly knew what defined being a preppy or the preppy look.  Was I a preppy?  No.  I wasn't a child from an elite family attending a New England preparatory school.  Did I emulate the preppy style during the prep craze of the 1980s?  I tried although I didn't know exactly what was prep and what wasn't.
 
I doubt any of my classmates had access to or could afford Brooks Brothers or even Ralph Lauren.  One or two of my male classmates tried wearing a sweater tied around their shoulders.  I'm not sure where they got the idea.  From a movie or television perhaps. 

I wore a polo shirt once with the collar turned up.  Somebody thought I'd hurt myself and that something was wrong with my neck.  I never turned my collar up again.

One of my favorite shirts was a long-sleeve button-down Oxford with blue pin-stripes.  I also liked polo shirts.  I actually had a real LaCoste polo shirt in college but in high school I had a knock-off from Sears with a dragon emblem.  I had a Members Only jacket (well, a knock-off one).  I had a thin black tie and some black suspenders.  Most of us wore boat shoes (my college girlfriend called them Top-Siders) or high tops.  I had a pair of turquoise cowboy boots.  I had a pair of striped blue jeans for a while.  I had a pair of tan slacks (I didn't have the word khaki in my vocabulary yet) that I wore occasionally to look classier.  My tastes were eclectic (I had no clue how to dress). 

Occasionally, I would get an International Male catalog in the mail.  They had some strange and interesting clothing like jumpsuits and fringed Vaquero jackets. 

I had a mullet (bi-level) haircut.  I didn't know what it was called at the time.  I just asked to have it left long in back and shorter on the sides and in front.  I also sported a rat tail and a perm at different times.  Someone should have stopped me.

My older sister and I shared a Mercury Bobcat.  But, at the time I thought the coolest car was a Chevy Monte Carlo. 

My sophomore year I fell in love with a girl I met at a church lock in.  We dated.  I already had my driver's license so we could go parking (i.e. make out).  The first time I unzipped her pants was quite nerve-racking.

We went to a James Bond movie once (A View to a Kill?) and after leaving the movie we walked silently to my car, got in, and immediately started making out.

We were still together when I was a junior.  She dumped me and then wanted me back on more than one occasion.  She dumped me a couple months before prom and then came to prom with a classmate of mine.  Our prom theme was "I Can't Fight This Feeling."  I attended prom with a girl who was nice but I didn't really want to be with.  I wanted to be with my ex-girlfriend.  It was an amazing night (SARCASM).

I had friends who lost their virginity.  One of them seemed unfazed when inquiring about prophylactics at drug or discount stores.

We began hearing about HIV and AIDS in the 1980s and it was frightening.

I remember the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster occurring during my senior year of high school.  It was very sad.

I remember listening to Paul Harvey.  "Hello Americans, this is Paul Harvey. Stand by for NEWS!"  I also enjoyed his The Rest of the Story segments.

I remember the Rubik's Cube, video arcades, Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Super Mario Bros., Tron, Game Boy, boomboxes, the Walkman, VHS tapes, and the Macintosh computer.  I was only slightly intrigued by computers and video games.

I remember cassette tapes supplanting vinyl records.

I remember listening to 93.3 WIZM-FM (Z-93) in La Crosse, WI. and 106.9 KROC-FM in Rochester, MN.  I also remember KNEI, KOEL, and WMT.

I remember American Top 40 hosted by Casey Kasem and Casey's Long Distance Dedication segments. 

I remember "867-5309/Jenny." 

And also:
Well I was born in a small town
And I can breathe in a small town
Gonna die in this small town
And that's probably where they'll bury me

I remember Michael Jackson, Duran Duran, .38 Special, Loverboy, The Police, The Cars, Def Leppard, The Eurythmics, Bruce Springsteen, Pat Benatar, and Madonna.

I wasn't familiar with the industry terms for the music I liked such as New Wave and Synthpop.  My world was mainly divided into rock and country and perhaps subdivisions of soft and hard rock.  I began to hear about this thing called rap as a senior but don't recall hearing the term hip hop.  A friend in college would introduce me to a genre of electronic dance music called House Music.  Many years later I realized we'd also listened to New Jack Swing and Freestyle (Latin hip hop).  Madonna felt like a virgin but I don't think she was.  AC/DC was amazing!  I saw them in concert in the fall of 1985.

I was also familiar with country music stars like Ricky Scaggs, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Kenny Rogers, Ronnie Milsap, Hank Williams Jr., Garth Brooks, Dolly Parton, Barbara Mandrell, Reba McEntire, The Oakridge Boys, and Alabama.

A lot of the country music was heard while milking cows in the barn on the farm I grew up on.  Since I was a country boy I joined 4-H and FFA (Future Farmers of America).  I showed cattle at the county fair each summer.  FFA taught me about parliamentary procedure.

I got to attend the FFA National Convention in Kansas City as a freshman.  I still remember some of the FFA creed.

I went to the World Dairy Expo in Madison, Wisconsin once or twice on 4-H trips.  I also went with my FFA group to the Farm Progress Show when I was a sophomore.  These are the kind of trips you take when you're a farm kid.

Sylvester Stallone (Rocky AND Rambo!) was an amazing action hero.  Arnold (that Austrian bodybuilder) was pretty good too.  I also enjoyed seeing Clint Eastwood in westerns.  Cowboys were still cool when I was a kid.

I remember Michael Keaton playing Batman.  I remember Indiana Jones.
 
I remember Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club and Beverly Hills Cop.

I didn't see The Outsiders movie in 1983 but I'd already read the S. E. Hinton novel of the same name years earlier.  "Stay gold, Ponyboy."

MTV (Music Television) launched on August 1, 1981.  This channel allowed one to watch music videos.  My family didn't have cable TV so I had to watch Friday Night Videos instead.  When cable TV became available in the early 80s in the small town where my high school was located it was a pretty big deal. 

I remember watching Family Ties, Cheers, and Moonlighting.  Bruce Willis of Moonlighting (portraying David Addison) went on to become a movie star.  Cybill Shepherd (portraying Maddie Hayes) was already famous.  Years later I would watch a younger Cybill Shepherd in
The Last Picture Show.  She was so cute (and naked) in that movie.

I remember watching TV miniseries like The Thorn Birds and North and South.

I remember Crockett and Tubbs.

I remember Saturday Night Live with Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo.

I remember Hulkamania.

Kelly LeBrock said, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."  I didn't.  She was hot!  In addition to Pantene commercials she was in Weird Science, a movie in which Gary and Wyatt create Lisa, their dream girl, with a computer and a little magic.

I went to my senior Homecoming with the "bad" girl in class - the one voted Best Partier.  She smoked and drank and wore a leather jacket.  Why she agreed to go with me is a mystery.  I guess she thought I was cute and nice and that was reason enough.  She was sweet, funny, and a good kisser.  But, Homecoming was our one and only date.

We had a Finnish foreign exchange student during my senior year.  He was in my class and we became friends.  We hung out occasionally and did some drinking together.  He retied my tie for me the night of Homecoming because I had evidently done it wrong.

I didn't really know much about Finland or ask many questions.  I wish I had. 

He said that when he returned to Finland he was required to serve for a short period in the military because Finland had compulsory military service.  It upset me that he was going to be a military conscript but he seemed okay with it.   

As a senior I won the conference wrestling tournament and qualified for state.

I went to Prom with three friends.  My hair was permed and I didn't much care for how I looked.  And, even though they were nice guys it sucked not having a date.

My friend Brad wore a tuxedo from the Miami Vice collection based on the hit TV series.  I suppose I thought it was tacky at the time.  I wore a black tuxedo with a red bow tie and cumberbund.  It also came with a red scarf.  I guess I was the one who looked silly.  It looked so cool on the mannequin though.  

I was still a virgin and had no girlfriend when I graduated.  Of course, some people didn't think I was a virgin because, well, I lied.

In 1986 a nearby town opened the first Wal-Mart in our area.

The summer after my senior year I ordered a mail-order bodybuilding course.  I became a lot more muscular and defined.  I began reading muscle magazines.  I'd been interested in bodybuilding and weight lifting from a young age because I used to leaf through my father's Strength and Health magazines.

My freshman year of college was a tough time of adjustment.  I didn't declare a major because I didn't have a clue what to do with my life.

Evidently stock markets around the world crashed on Monday, October 19, 1987 and I didn't know about it.  I wasn't really into current events you might say.

When the Tiananmen Square protests took place in 1989 I was aware of it and yet didn't realize the horror and significance of it.  I really should have picked up a newspaper occasionally.

I finally decided to major in psychology because I found it fascinating.

I had a college friend who liked to refer to women's boobs as ta-tas.  He's the one who introduced me to House Music.  We went to bars and clubs a lot.  He majored in religion and became a minister.    

I dated a rich girl for a while in college.  I broke up with her because she was kind of strange and mean.  She believed that all men cheated.  She cared a lot about style and matching colors.  I was scolded for wearing pastels to a Christmas program.  Apparently my choice of attire for the evening was more important than celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.

I graduated from college in 1990.  I'd been hearing people talk about doing away with greed.  I'd been hearing about recycling.  Eventually a style of music and dress called grunge would become popular.  I liked flannel but not THAT much.  Where was my dance music?  What happened to the preppy look?  The eighties were over.  The nineties sounded like they were going to be totally bogus.