In the eighties I didn't realize the time period would become known as the era of glitz and greed and the decade of excess. I became a teenager in 1980 and was mainly interested in attracting the opposite sex and being a wrestling champion.
Ronald Reagan was elected President in 1980.
I remember power suits and "Greed is good."
I remember junk bonds.
I remember the United States boycotted the 1980 Summer Olympics to protest the Soviet invasion in Afghanistan. Actually, I didn't really know why we were boycotting just that it had something to do with the evil Russians. I didn't make a distinction between Soviet and Russian. The Cold War was still going on and I was a little bit worried about nuclear war.
While I was in high school Mikhail Gorbachev became leader of the Soviet Union. My social studies teacher seemed optimistic and hopeful about this change in leadership and I took some comfort in that.
I didn't know what glasnost and perestroika meant. In the late eighties we saw the beginnings of the dissolution of the Soviet Union and an end to the Cold War. The Berlin wall was opened in November of 1989 and many East Germans flooded into West Germany. I knew something historic was going on and it was a little hard to believe it was all really happening.
Years ealier I'd heard about the attempted assassination of President Reagan. I was a seventh grader at the time. Our school principal told some of us in the library what had happened and I felt assured that things would be okay.
Years later I began hearing about the Iran–Contra scandal but didn't understand the particulars. I remember Oliver North and his secretary Fawn Hall being in the news.
I remember hearing about another secretary named Jessica Hahn and a sex scandal involving televangelist Jim Bakker.
I remember going to our Presbyterian church almost every Sunday. I joined our church youth group when I was old enough. Sometimes we would hold fund raisers like chili suppers. We took trips during the summer to places like Adventureland, Valley Fair, and Wisconsin Dells. I was confirmed by our church when I was a freshman in high school.
Mount St. Helens erupted in Washington state in 1980. My hormones started erupting a couple years later.
John Lennon was assassinated in New York City on December 8, 1980. I'd been a Beatles fan from an early age.
Prince Charles and Lady Diana were married in 1981.
I became a high school freshman in the fall of 1982. I had a girlfriend throughout most of the school year and I was on the varsity wrestling team so it would seem that my original scheme involving girls and wrestling was coming to fruition.
I had an older sister who was a junior. She took me to a party once even though I was a freshman because she was a cool older sister.
I saw the movie My Tutor the summer after my freshman year. I wasn't old enough to see but I did. I enjoyed it. Thank you, Kitten Natividad. It's underrated.
I got drunk for the first time the summer after my freshman year. I swore I would never drink again. I did drink again.
Before meeting my girlfriend my freshman year I asked a classmate to the homecoming dance. She turned me down because she was hoping to be noticed by a junior who was the starting quarterback on the football team. I wanted to tell her it was a hopeless and stupid idea but was nice enough not to.
Interestingly, another freshman girl went to Prom that same year with a very popular senior boy she was hot for so I guess dreams can come true.
Good things were excellent and awesome. Bad things were lame or bogus.
Fresh meant cool or new. My sister said a guy in college referred to her friend Karen as fresh. He said, "I like you girl 'cause you're fresh."
The word "choice" also meant cool. I had a classmate who referred to her class ring as choice. I told her that choice was a grade of beef and that she'd be better off calling her ring prime (like prime rib). I'm just kidding. I didn't really say that. I was a rather shy and introverted boy in high school.
A conversation between a friend and me might go somehting like this:
Friend: How are you?
Me: Not too bad.
Friend: What's new?
Me: Nothing.
Friend: Okay, good talking to you.
I had to get braces when I was a freshman and they didn't come off until I was a senior. I had a cowlick in my hair that really bothered me. My nose was a bit crooked which bothered me as well.
I met a girl at a drive-in movie during my sophomore year of high school who had scoliosis and wore a brace. Eventually she didn't have to wear the brace. Serendipity brought us together again one night during my junior year at a haunted house just before Halloween. She had two friends with her and I had two friends with me. We all went through the haunted house together and when we came out on the other side each boy was holding a girl's hand.
The word yuppie ("young urban professional" or "young upwardly-mobile professional") entered the lexicon. Alex P. Keaton of Family Ties was determined to become a yuppie. I liked Alex even though I didn't have his strong Republican politial leanings. At that point in my life, I really didn't quite understand the difference between a conservative and a liberal. I did wear a sweater vest occasionally like Alex.
I never read The Official Preppy Handbook. I never even knew it existed. Thus, I never exactly knew what defined being a preppy or the preppy look. Was I a preppy? No. I wasn't a child from an elite family attending a New England preparatory school. Did I emulate the preppy style during the prep craze of the 1980s? I tried although I didn't know exactly what was prep and what wasn't.
I doubt any of my classmates had access to or could afford Brooks Brothers or even Ralph Lauren. One or two of my male classmates tried wearing a sweater tied around their shoulders. I'm not sure where they got the idea. From a movie or television perhaps.
I wore a polo shirt once with the collar turned up. Somebody thought I'd hurt myself and that something was wrong with my neck. I never turned my collar up again.
One of my favorite shirts was a long-sleeve button-down Oxford with blue pin-stripes. I also liked polo shirts. I actually had a real LaCoste polo shirt in college but in high school I had a knock-off from Sears with a dragon emblem. I had a Members Only jacket (well, a knock-off one). I had a thin black tie and some black suspenders. Most of us wore boat shoes (my college girlfriend called them Top-Siders) or high tops. I had a pair of turquoise cowboy boots. I had a pair of striped blue jeans for a while. I had a pair of tan slacks (I didn't have the word khaki in my vocabulary yet) that I wore occasionally to look classier. My tastes were eclectic (I had no clue how to dress).
Occasionally, I would get an International Male catalog in the mail. They had some strange and interesting clothing like jumpsuits and fringed Vaquero jackets.
I had a mullet (bi-level) haircut. I didn't know what it was called at the time. I just asked to have it left long in back and shorter on the sides and in front. I also sported a rat tail and a perm at different times. Someone should have stopped me.
My older sister and I shared a Mercury Bobcat. But, at the time I thought the coolest car was a Chevy Monte Carlo.
My sophomore year I fell in love with a girl I met at a church lock in. We dated. I already had my driver's license so we could go parking (i.e. make out). The first time I unzipped her pants was quite nerve-racking.
We went to a James Bond movie once (A View to a Kill?) and after leaving the movie we walked silently to my car, got in, and immediately started making out.
We were still together when I was a junior. She dumped me and then wanted me back on more than one occasion. She dumped me a couple months before prom and then came to prom with a classmate of mine. Our prom theme was "I Can't Fight This Feeling." I attended prom with a girl who was nice but I didn't really want to be with. I wanted to be with my ex-girlfriend. It was an amazing night (SARCASM).
I had friends who lost their virginity. One of them seemed unfazed when inquiring about prophylactics at drug or discount stores.
We began hearing about HIV and AIDS in the 1980s and it was frightening.
I remember the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster occurring during my senior year of high school. It was very sad.
I remember listening to Paul Harvey. "Hello Americans, this is Paul Harvey. Stand by for NEWS!" I also enjoyed his The Rest of the Story segments.
I remember the Rubik's Cube, video arcades, Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Donkey Kong, Super Mario Bros., Tron, Game Boy, boomboxes, the Walkman, VHS tapes, and the Macintosh computer. I was only slightly intrigued by computers and video games.
I remember cassette tapes supplanting vinyl records.
I remember listening to 93.3 WIZM-FM (Z-93) in La Crosse, WI. and 106.9 KROC-FM in Rochester, MN. I also remember KNEI, KOEL, and WMT.
I remember American Top 40 hosted by Casey Kasem and Casey's Long Distance Dedication segments.
I remember "867-5309/Jenny."
And also:
Well I was born in a small town
And I can breathe in a small town
Gonna die in this small town
And that's probably where they'll bury me
I remember Michael Jackson, Duran Duran, .38 Special, Loverboy, The Police, The Cars, Def Leppard, The Eurythmics, Bruce Springsteen, Pat Benatar, and Madonna.
I wasn't familiar with the industry terms for the music I liked such as New Wave and Synthpop. My world was mainly divided into rock and country and perhaps subdivisions of soft and hard rock. I began to hear about this thing called rap as a senior but don't recall hearing the term hip hop. A friend in college would introduce me to a genre of electronic dance music called House Music. Many years later I realized we'd also listened to New Jack Swing and Freestyle (Latin hip hop). Madonna felt like a virgin but I don't think she was. AC/DC was amazing! I saw them in concert in the fall of 1985.
I was also familiar with country music stars like Ricky Scaggs, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Kenny Rogers, Ronnie Milsap, Hank Williams Jr., Garth Brooks, Dolly Parton, Barbara Mandrell, Reba McEntire, The Oakridge Boys, and Alabama.
A lot of the country music was heard while milking cows in the barn on the farm I grew up on. Since I was a country boy I joined 4-H and FFA (Future Farmers of America). I showed cattle at the county fair each summer. FFA taught me about parliamentary procedure.
I got to attend the FFA National Convention in Kansas City as a freshman. I still remember some of the FFA creed.
I went to the World Dairy Expo in Madison, Wisconsin once or twice on 4-H trips. I also went with my FFA group to the Farm Progress Show when I was a sophomore. These are the kind of trips you take when you're a farm kid.
Sylvester Stallone (Rocky AND Rambo!) was an amazing action hero. Arnold (that Austrian bodybuilder) was pretty good too. I also enjoyed seeing Clint Eastwood in westerns. Cowboys were still cool when I was a kid.
I remember Michael Keaton playing Batman. I remember Indiana Jones.
I remember Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club and Beverly Hills Cop.
I didn't see The Outsiders movie in 1983 but I'd already read the S. E. Hinton novel of the same name years earlier. "Stay gold, Ponyboy."
MTV (Music Television) launched on August 1, 1981. This channel allowed one to watch music videos. My family didn't have cable TV so I had to watch Friday Night Videos instead. When cable TV became available in the early 80s in the small town where my high school was located it was a pretty big deal.
I remember watching Family Ties, Cheers, and Moonlighting. Bruce Willis of Moonlighting (portraying David Addison) went on to become a movie star. Cybill Shepherd (portraying Maddie Hayes) was already famous. Years later I would watch a younger Cybill Shepherd in
The Last Picture Show. She was so cute (and naked) in that movie.
I remember watching TV miniseries like The Thorn Birds and North and South.
I remember Crockett and Tubbs.
I remember Saturday Night Live with Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo.
I remember Hulkamania.
Kelly LeBrock said, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." I didn't. She was hot! In addition to Pantene commercials she was in Weird Science, a movie in which Gary and Wyatt create Lisa, their dream girl, with a computer and a little magic.
I went to my senior Homecoming with the "bad" girl in class - the one voted Best Partier. She smoked and drank and wore a leather jacket. Why she agreed to go with me is a mystery. I guess she thought I was cute and nice and that was reason enough. She was sweet, funny, and a good kisser. But, Homecoming was our one and only date.
We had a Finnish foreign exchange student during my senior year. He was in my class and we became friends. We hung out occasionally and did some drinking together. He retied my tie for me the night of Homecoming because I had evidently done it wrong.
I didn't really know much about Finland or ask many questions. I wish I had.
He said that when he returned to Finland he was required to serve for a short period in the military because Finland had compulsory military service. It upset me that he was going to be a military conscript but he seemed okay with it.
As a senior I won the conference wrestling tournament and qualified for state.
I went to Prom with three friends. My hair was permed and I didn't much care for how I looked. And, even though they were nice guys it sucked not having a date.
My friend Brad wore a tuxedo from the Miami Vice collection based on the hit TV series. I suppose I thought it was tacky at the time. I wore a black tuxedo with a red bow tie and cumberbund. It also came with a red scarf. I guess I was the one who looked silly. It looked so cool on the mannequin though.
I was still a virgin and had no girlfriend when I graduated. Of course, some people didn't think I was a virgin because, well, I lied.
In 1986 a nearby town opened the first Wal-Mart in our area.
The summer after my senior year I ordered a mail-order bodybuilding course. I became a lot more muscular and defined. I began reading muscle magazines. I'd been interested in bodybuilding and weight lifting from a young age because I used to leaf through my father's Strength and Health magazines.
My freshman year of college was a tough time of adjustment. I didn't declare a major because I didn't have a clue what to do with my life.
Evidently stock markets around the world crashed on Monday, October 19, 1987 and I didn't know about it. I wasn't really into current events you might say.
When the Tiananmen Square protests took place in 1989 I was aware of it and yet didn't realize the horror and significance of it. I really should have picked up a newspaper occasionally.
I finally decided to major in psychology because I found it fascinating.
I had a college friend who liked to refer to women's boobs as ta-tas. He's the one who introduced me to House Music. We went to bars and clubs a lot. He majored in religion and became a minister.
I dated a rich girl for a while in college. I broke up with her because she was kind of strange and mean. She believed that all men cheated. She cared a lot about style and matching colors. I was scolded for wearing pastels to a Christmas program. Apparently my choice of attire for the evening was more important than celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.
I graduated from college in 1990. I'd been hearing people talk about doing away with greed. I'd been hearing about recycling. Eventually a style of music and dress called grunge would become popular. I liked flannel but not THAT much. Where was my dance music? What happened to the preppy look? The eighties were over. The nineties sounded like they were going to be totally bogus.
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