Exoskeleton: An Essay About Eating Disorders, Cyborgs, and Other Things

A few years ago while recovering from anorexia nervosa I met an interesting young woman with whom I had several conversations. She too was recovering from an eating disorder. 

She was a pretty blond Swedish American from Idaho so I'll call her Ada.

Ada believed that the genesis, the trigger if you will, of her eating disorder was an operation in which her appendix was removed. 

“After the surgery I felt strange. I felt vulnerable. I wished I could have an exoskeleton to protect me,” she explained. 

Somehow this vulnerable feeling evolved into an eating disorder. Did limiting what she ate and maintaining a concave abdomen somehow make her feel protected and safe? 

I met another woman in treatment who restricted her intake because she didn't want the curves associated with a woman's body. Men had hurt her. She didn't want men to notice her or be attracted to her. She wanted a small and thin body that wouldn't draw any attention. So, she stayed thin to protect herself.

The strange thing is that I know another woman, Janet, whose reaction to trauma was quite different. She told me about being forced to eat the cooking of her stepfather during her younger years. She described it as "prison cooking." He would make odd conglomerations of unappetizing food and she would have to eat it or be physically punished. 

When she finally became an independent woman she was quite thin after the years of malnutrition. When she was on her own she began to enjoy eating. She gained a lot of weight.

“I hate being thin,” she told me, “I don't want to be thin like I was ever again.”

She's a beautiful full-figured woman with wide hips and plenty of curves. One day she was complaining about a postpartum compression wrap she saw on a store shelf. It was designed to narrow one's hips after delivery. 

“You see this? This is ridiculous. Now, Tharin, do you want a woman who's flat and narrow or a woman with hips – with something you can grab onto?” she asked.

“I want a woman with hips,” I said.

“That better be your answer,” she said.

“I liked the weight I put on during pregnancy. I like my hips and I'd make them even wider if I could,” she continued.

I can only guess that to Janet, an ample and voluptuous body is equated with health and strength and prosperity. 

But, that's not what sweet Ada wanted. She found comfort in having a flat stomach. I guess I found some comfort too in starvation during some tough times during adulthood.

I became good at cutting weight for wrestling in high school. I hated cutting weight though. After the season was over, I ate. I ate a lot. It scared me a little sometimes because I felt like I couldn't get enough. But, when the stresses of adulthood came along I lost my appetite. I found some comfort in not eating. I guess I was looking for a safe feeling like Ada. But, when I couldn't find it I guess I just wanted to disappear.  I didn't want to feel pain or fear.  I didn't want to feel worthless or hopeless.  So, I decided to feel nothing at all. 

I recall at one low point wishing I was a robot with no emotions. I became so malnourished at one point that I became like a robot. A robot with little emotion and no life outside of the narrow confines I had set for myself. 

In the Ghost in the Shell manga and anime series, the female cyborg Motoko Kusanagi possesses an incredibly durable prosthetic body, with enhanced strength, speed and coordination. In fact, only part of her brain and spinal cord remain composed of human tissue. She has a tendency to question her own humanity and whether or not she has a soul (what cyborgs refer to as their "ghost"). She tends to keep her human emotions well under control. 

November Annabella "Nova" Terra is a Ghost agent from the StarCraft universe. In this case a Ghost is an assassin. She sometimes wears a powered combat suit – an exoskeleton.

She requested a mind-wipe that erased all recollection of her tragic youth.

As of becoming a full fledged ghost, after undergoing a memory wipe, Nova's personality became colder. Additionally, although she underwent a memory wipe, Nova remains psychologically scarred by the murder of her family and has trouble connecting to people as a result. Not that she particularly desired to, however—for the most part, she was content to be regarded as a merciless killer and remain isolated from her fellow men, not wanting to forge attachments that could be broken.

I've met women in treatment who have survived a lot of trauma. I've met women who didn't want to get too close to anyone. I've met women who have lost almost any desire for human contact. I wonder if they would like a “mind-wipe” so they could erase all of those haunting memories? 

Would Ada have liked to have been a cyborg? Her body would be protected and strong. She'd still have to deal with human emotions though. Sometimes our emotions are more frightening and harder to manage than any physical threat.

Ada was really sweet and easy to talk to.

Ada talked about her Swedish background which was interesting since I'm Norwegian. Her father declared she was only allowed to drive a Volvo or a Saab or so she claimed. Her parents continued to make her dress up for St. Lucia's Day in a white dress with a red sash around her waist and a crown of candles on her head. She mentioned Dala horses. A Dala horse is a traditional carved, painted wooden horse statuette originating in the Swedish province Dalarna. I knew about these horses because I'd seen some in shop windows in Decorah during the Nordic Fest. I asked her about a distilled spirit called aquavit hoping to sound smart. She said her family used it to make glögg, the Swedish version of mulled wine, to drink around Christmastime. 

We discussed many subjects. 

We both liked the Sinatra song “Summer Wind.”

She told me she wanted to get married in the rain someday. I didn't press her for details. Did she think rain had some mystical force that would grant her a happy marriage? In some cultures, rain on your wedding day is considered good luck, symbolizing fertility and cleansing. Is rain romantic? “Let's cuddle close under an umbrella, sweetheart!” “Let me help you dry off and warm up, darling."  Did she simply find rainy days to be soothing? Think of all those meditation recordings featuring the calming sounds of rain to help us relax.

We spoke a little about writing and poetry. I printed off a copy of Shakespeare's Sonnet 141 and shared it with her.

In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes,

For they in thee a thousand errors note;

But ‘tis my heart that loves what they despise,
Who, in despite of view, is pleased to dote;
Nor are mine ears with thy tongue’s tune delighted,
Nor tender feeling, to base touches prone,
Nor taste, nor smell, desire to be invited
To any sensual feast with thee alone:

But my five wits nor my five senses can

Dissuade one foolish heart from serving thee,
Who leaves unswayed the likeness of a man,
Thy proud heart’s slave and vassal wretch to be.
Only my plague thus far I count my gain,
That she that makes me sin awards me pain. 

She read it slowly and then smirked and said, “He's basically saying she's ugly.”

While it's true Shakespeare is aware of the woman's physical flaws, his heart is completely enthralled by her. We can still desire someone while acknowledging their faults.

I only knew about this sonnet because it was mentioned in the movie 10 Things I Hate About You.

I wrote her a sonnet. I think it was entitled “A Quasi-Sonnet for Ada.” I didn't have the rhyme scheme quite right. That's why I called it a quasi-sonnet. 

Most of the women I met in treatment were beautiful, kind, and intelligent. In group therapy one day we were disucssing body image and one of the woman said she liked my shoulders because they were wide. I thought to myself Hell yeah! I still got it!

I was sometimes the only male on the eating disorder unit. One day we were all in the activities van on an outing and I said, “It's seven woman and me. I think I like this.”

The Activities Therapist looked over at the Nurse's Aide and said, “Well, I guess his testosterone level is getting back to normal.”

Dr A and Dr. B used to say to us patients, “You need to find a healthy way to meet your needs.”

If you need attention or stress reduction or a greater sense of control you need to find a way to achieve that without coping through starvation and other eating disorder behaviors.

Sometimes patients need to get in touch with their thoughts and feelings. It might sound kind of corny but it's true.

We all learned Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help us identify our feelings and identify our sometimes distorted thinking.  For example, if you make a mistake at work you may feel angry and embarrassed and think to yourself, “I am not allowed to make mistakes. I must always be perfect.” This is distorted thinking. This might be called black and white (polarized ) thinking. You believe anything short of perfection makes you a failure. 

We need to untwist this negative thinking. No one is perfect. It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to see things in shades of gray. When things don't work out as well as you hoped, think about the experience as a partial success rather than a complete failure. See what you can learn from the situation.

It's hard to be kind to ourselves sometimes.  And, at times the world seems to lack empathy and compassion.

In group one day, I asked Dr. B if it was possible to develop a “thicker skin” so my sensitive personality could handle the criticism and judgments from the a-holes of the world without having it hurt so much. Other than CBT he didn't have much to offer me. One of the social workers told me that being sensitive wasn't good or bad. Being sensitive may make life tougher emotionally at times but it's not a bad thing. In college one of my professors said, “Some people feel too much. Some people don't feel as much. And some people are just jerks.” Sometimes I wish I was a Terminator (i.e. a cyborg) who felt nothing and was essentially indestructible. But, alas, for now there is no exoskeleton for me. 

When Ada was done with treatment and in a state we call “recovery” she left and I presume returned to Idaho. She said, “Tharin, I love you and I'll miss you deeply. I'll write you every day.”

No, she didn't say any of that. I think she did give me a hug the morning she left. I think she did say, “I'll miss you.” At least that's how I like to remember it. We didn't stay in touch though.

I'm not sure what became of her.

Perhaps she got married during a gentle rain shower like she'd dreamed of doing.

 

 

Perhaps she became a superheroine and in accordance with that role wears a protective suit that keeps her safe from harm. An exoskeleton if you will. 

Did you know some robotic exoskeletons really exist?

Today, powered exoskeleton suits are becoming a reality; perhaps several hundred commercial and experimental exosuits now operate globally. But until somebody invents the equivalent of the palm-sized power plant Tony Stark wears in his chest, real-world exoskeleton suits will have to make do with an all-too-limited power supply and much less spectacular capabilities.

Perhaps all of the individuals who recover from eating disorders have donned a metaphorical exoskeleton so they'll always feel protected and safe and ready to withstand the challenges that life brings.

My Seventies

The Me Decade

I turn three the summer of 1970

Elementary school years

Jimmy Carter is elected as the 39^th President of the United States in 1976

The United States celebrates its Bicentennial in 1976

I don't remember The Great Inflation of the 1970s and high unemployment

I remember the Shah of Iran and the Iran Hostage Crisis

T-shirts with iron-on transfers were popular

Blue jeans emerged in the 1970s as everyday wear. Denim was being mass consumed by all ages and seen as the ultimate American garment.

I wanted nothing to do with bell-bottom jeans

I was too young to truly appreciate girls wearing tube tops and halter tops

POLYESTER

LEISURE SUITS

JOGGING SUITS

DISCO

 

 



Leif Garrett in a leisure suit.



 

Flared blue jeans, halter top, cool hair.

 

I turned three in the summer of 1970. I turned 13 in the summer of 1980. So, the decade of the 1970s basically coincided with my elementary school years. The seventies encompassed most of my youth.

During the so-called Me Decade many people were focused on themselves rather than the world at large. 

This turning inward sometimes involved drugs, disco, yoga, meditation, jogging, or self-improvement seminars.

I was a child slowly transforming into a young man during the seventies. My life revolved around family, friends, church, school, television, movies, music, and books. The larger goings-on of the world affected or interested me little. 

During the seventies I began to experience close friendships. I stayed overnight with friends. We built blanket forts, played, watched TV, and listened to records. 

I remember the daredevil Evel Knievel who became an icon in the 1970s for his incredible motorcycle stunts.

Eventually, other daredevils would accomplish the feats Evel Knievel had and even top them. Some stuntman would do things on a motorcycle that Evel never dreamed of. But, I don't believe any stuntman will ever become a household name like him. No one will ever have the notoriety or display the showmanship that Evel did. He was larger than life, legendary, and icon. He was a hero. 

I had an Evel Knievel figure and Stunt Cycle produced by Ideal Toys.

 

Evel Knievel the daredevil icon.

 



The Evel Knievel figure and Stunt Cycle.



Even as a kid I gave some thought to what I wanted to be when I grew up. I considered being an astronaut. The final manned moon landing took place in December of 1972. I would've been five years old so I doubt I really remember that happening. Nonetheless, astronauts and rockets were still fascinating when I was in elementary school.

Apollo 11 successfully landed on the Moon’s surface in July of 1969. America had put a man on the Moon. Everyone knew who Neil Armstrong was. Everyone knew his famous words, "That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind."

Apollo 17 marked the last moonwalk. This mission landed astronauts on the Moon for the last time in December 1972.

When I was a young boy space travel and astronauts were still fresh in the nation's consciousness. 

Of course I wanted to be an astronaut. I wanted to blast off in a rocket, navigate outer space, and walk on the moon. I wanted to wear the cool space suit. 

But since I was only a boy I had to make do with my imagination, toy rockets, and playing on the rocket slide at the park. Sometimes I wore a white nylon athletic jacket and pretended it was my space suit. I also had a pair of pajamas with pictures of astronauts and lunar modules on them.

 

A rocket slide.

 

I considered being a scuba diver or a deep-sea diver. The suits looked so cool. I used to watch Wild Kingdom. I recall seeing Marlin Perkins and Jim Fowler using scuba equipment in some shows. “Jim's spear gun is loaded and ready, its point honed needle sharp.” 

A book I enjoyed as a kid was Look Out for Pirates published by Random House. In the book a sailor wears a deep-sea diving suit while searching for a box of gold. That book may have triggered my interest in deep-sea diving.

Also, the Disney movie 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea features a diving scene in which the divers wear some intriguing diving suits. This movie came out in 1954 but I saw it on television during the 1970s. The Nautilus submarine was so cool and the attack by the giant squid was amazing.

I was interested in cowboys too. I watched the TV show Bonanza as well as movies starring John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. I had a holster with six shooters, cowboy hat, and even a sheriff's badge. Sometimes I had cap guns and one time I had a gun that shot plastic bullets. Cowboys probably weren't as popular as during my father's generation but they could still be seen on TV and in movies in the 1970s. I even watched reruns of The Lone Ranger at times. A masked man who rides a white horse and fights for justice. How cool is that? 

I probably never really considered being a cowboy as a profession. We did have a couple of horses on the farm but I knew little about horse riding or throwing a lasso.

But, I guess I was figuring out what interested me and whom I idolized.

I idolized superheroes like Batman and Superman.

I watched reruns of the Batman TV series.

There was a resurgence in the popularity of skating in the 1970s and I was part of that phenomenon. My sisters and I went skating often on Sunday afternoons. 



In the middle 1970’s, disco music catapulted roller skating back into the spotlight. With customers flocking to rinks at a record rate, many entrepreneurs decide to build new state-of–the-art roller skating centers. Countless rinks were built with massive sound and lighting systems. The older, more traditional rinks made few updates, but still profited from the roller-disco craze.



A young woman at a roller skating rink in 1970s Florida.



I stayed overnight with friends occasionally during those elementary school days. Chris and I would make blanket forts. One night his mom let us split a frozen pizza between just the two of us. Chris and I saw Grease together in 1978. John Travolta was cool and Olivia Newton-John was beautiful. I saw Star Wars a year earlier with my family but Chris showed up at the theater too even though he'd already seen it. Chris had a lot of Star Wars trading cards. He even wanted to stage a play at school. I wasn't too keen on being cast as R2-D2 when he cast himself as Han Solo. The play never came to fruition so it didn't really matter in the end.

TV is important when you're a kid. At least it was for me. 

The Brady Bunch

The Partridge Family

Happy Days

Laverne and Shirley

Little House on the Prairie

Adam-12

Starsky and Hutch

Charlie's Angels

Donny & Marie

The Love Boat

Fantasy Island

The Six-Million Dollar Man

The Bionic Woman

Of course, I remember Saturday Morning Cartoons. Watching cartoons on Saturday morning was the highlight of my week. I liked Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! I also liked Josie and the Pussycats, Superfriends, and The Bugs Bunny/Roadrunner Hour.

I also enjoyed live-action shows like H.R. Pufnstuf, The Bugaloos, Lidsville, Land of the Lost, Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, The Kids From C.A.P.E.R., Shazam!, Isis, and The Krofft Supershow.

I didn't see a lot of movies in theaters as a kid. My family lived on a farm and it was hard to find the time to get to movies very often. I did see a few though.

One film I recall seeing with my parents was Digby, the Biggest Dog in the World (1973). Digby accidentally drinks a top-secret growth formula and grows to gigantic proportions. It was a British film which is perhaps why many people aren't familiar with it.

My parents also took me to The Bad News Bears (1976), The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training (1977), Star Wars (1977), and The Electric Horseman (1979).

I also saw The Rescuers (1977) and The Muppet Movie (1979). One outing was with my grandma and the other was with a friend. 

Thanks to my friend Chris I saw Murder by Death (1976) and Grease (1978).

I feel blessed to have seen Grease on the big screen. John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John were amazing.

Of course, the highlight of my movie watching experiences during the seventies was seeing Star Wars. “May the force be with you.” 

Nadia Comăneci is a Romanian Olympic gold medalist who, at the age of 14, became the first gymnast to be awarded a perfect score of 10.0 in the Olympic games during the 1976 Olympics in Montreal.

Future California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger wins the Mr. Olympia bodybuilding title 1970 – 1975.

I remember Muhammad Ali being the Heavyweight Champion of the World.

FARRAH FAWCETT

I remember listening to 8-track tapes.

I remember listening to vinyl records.

I remember disco music. I remember Donna Summer. I remember the Bee Gees.

I remember ABBA and KC and the Sunshine Band.

I remember the Bay City Rollers.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!

I remember “The Ballroom Blitz” by the British rock band The Sweet.

I remember Manfred Mann's Earth Band cover of Bruce Springsteen's "Blinded By The Light.”

THE BEATLES SPLIT UP

ELVIS DIES

I remember playing board games.

We read encyclopedias and looked through the JC Penney and Sears catalogs.

“Breaker 1-9. Do you copy?”

“That's a big 10-4 good buddy, it's time to put the hammer down.”

I didn't really bemoan the end of a decade. I was happy to enter junior high. It did feel like I entered a new phase of life though in the 80s. I didn't get toys for Christmas any more. I was too old to be playing with toys but it was kind of depressing getting something “practical” for Christmas like a sweater or a photo album. I didn't care much for most of the cartoons that were on in the 1980s. And, perhaps I was getting too old for them too. I didn't get to go with Mom to town as often and walk through the dime store. Increasingly, I had to stay and help on the farm. 

 As I grew older I took on more responsibilities at home on the farm. More responsibilities came at school too. By the time I was an eighth-grader we no longer had any recess. Not a single recess. We had a short break for lunch and then it was right back to class. But, junior high meant team sports which I was excited about. I was ready to wrestle on a team not just at occasional kids' tournaments.

Getting older isn't always easy. It's not always an easy transition. But, getting older also meant having the chance to be a high school wrestling champion, getting to drive, being able to see R-rated movies, go on dates, and possibly have S-E-X. So, it seemed like an okay trade. 

I turned thirteen and therefore became a teenager during the summer of 1980. I would begin junior high in the fall. The new decade had already begun months earlier with little fanfare at least for the sixth-grader I was. I didn't yet realize what changes the decade of the eighties would bring for me and the world - new presidents, new music, hormonal changes. Even though a new decade with new hope and promise had begun I believe that at some level I knew I would always fondly remember the seventies as a really groovy time.

The Beatles and Me

One of my elementary school classmates borrowed a Beatles album from the public library and brought it in to music class one day. I'm almost certain it was a compilation album entitled Rock and Roll Music which was released in 1976. The music teacher let us listen to a song on the album. Although I don't recall which song it was, I fell in love with the Fab Four that day. 

 

 

Mrs. Drewes was a great music teacher. She let us experiment with a wide variety of musical instruments including drums, tambourines, cymbals, triangles, sand blocks, castanets, and maracas. Of course if you were the one who got stuck whacking a couple of sticks together as your contribution to the percussion section you felt kind of cheated and insignificant. 

I believe she sometimes played an instrument called an autoharp. I think she also had a wood guiro with notches you scraped. I wonder if she called it a rasp because I don't recall her using the word guiro although I'm sure that's what it was.

Sometimes Mrs. Drewes would play popular music for us. I remember her playing “A Fifth of Beethoven” by Walter Murphy. Perhaps she thought this disco instrumental adapted from the first movement of Ludwig van Beethoven's Fifth Symphony was a clever way to introduce us to classical music.

I recall her once saying, “Don't tell me you don't like poetry. I know you all like music and music is poetry.”

More exposure to the Beatles would follow. 

Some third-grade classmates and I would sit around a record player each with our own set of headphones. The headphones were plugged into something called a jack box or distribution box so we could all listen to the record player at the same time without disturbing the other students. 

Patty introduced me to “409” by the Beach boys. The song began with a revving-engine effect. Patty informed me that 409 referred to the singer's car. Actually, I now know that the song describes a Chevrolet with a 409 cubic-inch engine. So, she was essentially correct. I really enjoyed that song.

I liked the Beach Boys. They were often singing about the youth culture of surfing, cars, and romance. 

Danny liked to listen to “Sheila” by Tommy Roe perhaps because we had a cute classmate named Sheila. 

Me and Sheila go for a ride

Oh oh oh oh, I feel all funny inside

Then little Sheila whispers in my ear

Oh oh oh oh, I love you Sheila dear

My classmate Sheila didn't care much for the Beatles as I recall. She'd only let us listen to the Beatles if we agreed to listen to their song “Got To Get You Into My Life.” 

I really liked that song as well. Only later did I find out Paul McCartney claimed he'd written it as an ode to marijuana. I was a bit dismayed upon learning about his ode to pot. I thought it was a love song – the special love for another human being. Oh, Sheila, if you'd only known.

Some of the guys became interested, almost obsessed, with the hard rock group KISS. I liked KISS too. Their signature song “Rock and Roll All Nite” is a kick-ass rock anthem. But, I continued to be more interested in the Beatles and the Beach Boys. While some friends were buying KISS albums I was buying a Beach Boys album and a knock-off of the soundtrack for the movie Grease with songs performed by the Kid Stuff Repertory Company.

I was also blessed with another opportunity to listen to the Beatles. I was blessed with the good fortune of having parents who owned a stereo with a turntable and an 8-track player.

My parents had an 8-track tape of Beatles music known as The Red Album. This was a compilation album spanning the years 1962 – 1966. I realize now that my parents had only one cartridge of a two-cartridge set. I believe we only had The Beatles 1962 – 1966 Part 2.

The song tracks were:

Michelle

I Feel Fine

Yesterday

You've Got To Hide Your Love Away

We Can Work It Out

Nowhere Man

In my Life

Drive My Car

Girl

Eleanor Rigby

Paperback Writer

Yellow Submarine

It was perhaps fortunate that we didn't have part 1. By only having part 2 available I was exposed to obscure songs like “Drive My Car” and “Paperback Writer” which are still two of my favorites. 

“Paperback Writer” is sung from the perspective of an author soliciting a publisher. It was the first #1 hit for The Beatles that was not about love. This was a song that led the transition from early Beatles style to later Beatles style, from love songs to opening up the subject of songs to a wider variety of subjects.

Paul's Aunt had been bugging him for months, challenging him to "Write a song that wasn't about love." So he wrote this just to shut her up. He said: "We always try to do something different. And this idea's a bit different. Years ago my Auntie Lil said to me, 'Why can't you ever write about a horse or the summit conference or something interesting? So I thought, 'All right, Auntie Lil. I'll show you."

By this time, The Beatles were about to cease touring and couldn't make many TV appearances to perform the song. This made it very difficult to promote the single, so they commissioned a film clip that could be shown on these programs in their stead, unwittingly creating one of the first music videos.

Poor Paul has a chipped tooth in the video because of a recent accident.

Paperback Writer Preview

I remember hearing "Stars on 45."  In fact, I think we had a copy of it in our home.

According to Wikipedia:

 

"Stars on 45" is a song issued in January 1981 by the studio group Stars on 45. In some countries, including the UK, Ireland and New Zealand, the band was credited as 'Starsound' and the medley itself was named "Stars on 45". Its official title in the US (as on the record and in Billboard) where it was credited to 'Stars on 45' was "Medley: Intro 'Venus' / Sugar Sugar / No Reply / I'll Be Back / Drive My Car / Do You Want to Know a Secret / We Can Work It Out / I Should Have Known Better / Nowhere Man / You're Going to Lose That Girl / Stars on 45". It is (to date) the longest titled song to ever chart in Billboard, and is conveniently shortened to "Stars on 45 Medley", or "'Medley' by Stars on 45". The reason for the long title was copyright requirements for the use of The Beatles' songs.

At a high school dance during my junior year, I believe my friend and I asked the DJ if he would play a Beatles song. 

“You guys like the Beatles?” he asked. He seemed surprised but pleased.

He played “Twist and Shout” for us. I have to admit I wasn't that thrilled with his song choice. It wasn't one of my favorite Beatles tunes at the time. I realize now that it was a good choice for a dance though. I've grown to enjoy it more over the years since high school. 

The song enjoyed a resurgence of popularity in 1986 after Matthew Broderick lip-synced to the Beatles' version of it in the film Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Coincidentally, the Rodney Dangerfield film Back to School (released two days after Ferris) also featured the song, this one sung by Dangerfield himself and patterned after the Beatles' arrangement. The use in the two films helped propel the single up the Billboard Hot 100, where it peaked at No. 23 late that summer.

I saw a couple of movies on television associated with the Beatles.  I saw 
I Wanna Hold Your Hand (1978) and The Birth of the Beatles (1979).

I've never actually seen A Hard Day's Night (1964) or Help! (1965).  What?  Don't worry.  I plan to watch them soon.

I'm not going to exaggerate and say the Beatles were the soundtrack to my youth. But, they were an important part of it. The popular music of the 1980s was more important and relevant to me as a teenager than the Beatles. And yet, when a friend and I were driving to an AC/DC concert the fall of my senior year we listened to a Beatles cassette on the way to our destination.

I became interested in dance pop, R&B, Chicago house, Latin freestyle, and hip-hop music in college. Nonetheless, I still had Beatles, Beach Boys, and Tommy James cassettes in my small cassette collection.

When The Beatles Anthology documentary was broadcast in November 1995, I was excited. Even though I was a Beatles fan, I didn't really know much about their history.

Learning how these young lads from Liverpool met was really interesting. It's rather amazing that four guys were brought together by chance or fate and became such a huge thing.

A family member gave me the compilation album Anthology 1 for Christmas that year. It was a pretty big deal for Beatles fans.

Did you know that the Beatles were originally known as the Quarrymen and then the Silver Beetles before finally becoming the Beatles spelled with an A? An art student named Stuart Sutcliffe was the original bass player until he left the band to pursue his career as a painter. Pete Best was the original drummer until he was replaced by Richard Starkey (professionally known as Ringo Starr).

Sutcliffe's girlfriend Astrid Kurchherr was credited with inventing the Beatles' moptop haircut.

 

Brian Epstein was a record store operator who had no previous experience managing a musical act. Nonetheless, after seeing the Beatles perform at the Cavern Club he asked to become their manager to which they eventually agreed.

Many record companies turned down the opportunity to sign the Beatles to a recording contract including Decca. 

"Not to mince words, Mr. Epstein, but we don't like your boys' sound. Groups are out; four-piece groups with guitars particularly are finished…The Beatles have no future in show business."

-- Decca Records Executive, 1962

Eventually Epstein met with producer George Martin who noted Epstein's confidence in the group. Martin agreed to sign them to the EMI Parlophone label.

Please Please Me was the group's debut album.

On February 9, 1964 the Beatles performed on The Ed Sullivan Show.

The rest is history.

Frank Sinatra had bobby-soxers swooning in the 1940s.

Elvis drove people mad with his gyrating pelvis in the 1950s.

But, the world had seen nothing like Beatlemania. 

"Beatlemania Besets Britain"

"Beatlemania Sweeps U. S."

The Beatles were a major component of the so-called British Invasion. The British invasion was a phenomenon that occurred in the mid-1960s when rock and pop music acts from the United Kingdom, as well as other aspects of British culture, became popular in the United States, and significant to the rising "counterculture" on both sides of the Atlantic. Pop and rock groups such as the Beatles, the Dave Clark Five, the Kinks, the Rolling Stones, Herman's Hermits, and the Animals were at the forefront of the invasion.

As much as I love the Beatles, I have a more intimate connection to the so-called Second British Invasion which occurred during my high school years. The Second British Invasion refers to music acts from the United Kingdom that became popular in the United States from the middle of 1982 into late 1986, primarily due to the cable music channel MTV. While acts with a wide variety of styles were part of the invasion, it was mainly synthpop and new wave influenced acts that predominated. 

On July 3, 1982, The Human League's "Don't You Want Me" started a three-week reign on top of the Hot 100. The song got considerable boost from MTV airplay and has been described by the Village Voice as "pretty unmistakably the moment the Second British Invasion, spurred by MTV, kicked off".

One thing that stands out when I see the Beatles performing is how genuinely happy the guys seem to be performing together.

The Beatles had some cool guitars such as:

John – Lennon primarily used a Rickenbacker 325 Capri from 1960 until 1964. He purchased the guitar in Hamburg in its original natural finish and used the guitar extensively throughout the Cavern Club performances. In early 1963 he sent the guitar off to be refinished in its more popular black finish. This is the way the guitar appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show performance in February 1964.

Paul – McCartney custom-ordered a left-handed Höfner model 500/1 "violin" bass during one of the group's early residences in Hamburg.

George – Harrison started off in the Cavern Club days playing a black Gretsch Duo Jet. The Duo Jet was refurbished many years later and featured on the cover and album Cloud Nine. In mid 1963 he switched to a Gretsch Country Gentleman and a Gretsch Tennessean, both of which he played until around 1965.

I don't know much about guitars but those are some cool names.

 

 

 

Ringo Starr bought a set of Premier drums in 1960, but in June 1963 made the switch to a four-piece Ludwig set. The American-made drums were newly available in England, but the clincher for Starr was the Black Oyster Pearl finish of the Ludwig kit. He used four similar kits altogether, including two that he kept at Abbey Road.
 Did you know he and Paul were both left-handed?

The overall effect of Starr's drumming for the Beatles has received high praise from notable drummers. Starr commented: "I'm no good on the technical things ... I'm your basic offbeat drummer with funny fills ... because I'm really left-handed playing a right-handed kit. I can't roll around the drums because of that."

They inspired a cartoon series.

According to Wikipedia:

The Beatles is an American animated television series featuring representations of the popular English rock band of the same name. It ran from 1965 to 1969 on ABC in the U.S.

 

What if the Beatles had never existed? Without them paving the way, would there have been a British invasion? Would the Rolling Stones and the Kinks still have found an audience in America?

Would popular music have been the same without the Beatles contributions and without them pushing the boundaries and challenging and inspiring others?

So much has been said and written about the Beatles -- and their story is so mythic in its sweep -- that it's difficult to summarize their career without restating clichés that have already been digested by tens of millions of rock fans. To start with the obvious, they were the greatest and most influential act of the rock era, and introduced more innovations into popular music than any other rock band of the 20th century. Moreover, they were among the few artists of any discipline that were simultaneously the best at what they did and the most popular at what they did. Relentlessly imaginative and experimental, the Beatles grabbed hold of the international mass consciousness in 1964 and never let go for the next six years, always staying ahead of the pack in terms of creativity but never losing their ability to communicate their increasingly sophisticated ideas to a mass audience. Their supremacy as rock icons remains unchallenged to this day, decades after their breakup in 1970.

- Richie Unterberger

Sure, not everyone is as enamored with The Beatles as I am.

 

But, I am happy and thankful that four lads from Liverpool named John, Paul, George, and Ringo came together and shared their gift with us.

 

My Conversation with Madonna: A Mostly True Tale

I'm lying in bed after trudging up the stairway to my bedroom around 9:00 PM. I was too tired to stay up and watch Miami Vice tonight so I'll have to catch up with Crockett and Tubbs next week.  It's mid November of 1985.  My last year of high school.

As drowsiness takes hold, I slip into that state somewhere between wakefulness and sleep. 

Madonna is on my mind because she's been on the radio a lot over the last couple of years. I even saw her in the movie Desperately Seeking Susan a few months ago. She's permeated the American culture, nay the world's culture. She has a legion of adoring fans many of whom would like to emulate her.

As I lie here, Madonna comes to me. I see her before me. Perhaps I'm imagining things in my drowsy state. Is this an elaborate fantasy being shaped by my tired body? Is this some ghostly apparition? Perhaps I'm already asleep and dreaming. Or, perhaps Madonna's consciousness has traversed the astral plane and she's here with me now in spirit. 

Madonna looks like she did in her “Lucky Star” video although she's luminous and translucent. She's dressed in black and showing just a bit of midriff. She has the see-through top. She has the skirt paired with leggings. She has the fingerless gloves and rubber bracelets. Her hair is in a black ribbon. I can see her blue green eyes and her red lips. I get the sense that she can't speak to me in this realm.  But she smiles at me reassuringly and I begin to speak.

Madonna, what are you doing here? Why are you visiting me? Did you sense that I needed someone to offer me a compassionate ear? I never thought I'd meet you. You look beautiful as always. If you're willing to listen, Madonna, I'm willing to talk. 

I know what you're wondering, Madonna. Your asking yourself, “What is this handsome guy doing home in bed on a Friday night?”

Well, I tell you what Madonna, my love life is really lacking right now. I'm going through a lean period. There's a scarcity of girls I tell you. Okay, that's probably not really true. The fact is I got dumped last spring and never really recovered from it.  What do girls want, Madonna?  Do they crave adventure and drama?  Do they want an assertive man who takes charge?  Am I too boring and predictable?  Am I too nice?  Am I too needy?  What do women want?  Well, it's not me. I know that much. Okay, I know I should stop feeling sorry for myself and get back out there.

My girlfriend dumped me and then went to prom with one of my classmates. Can you believe that, Madonna? You wouldn't do that, right? Although, I heard you dumped one of your boyfriends when it became apparent you were going to be a huge star. You were going to be something big and he wasn't so you told him goodbye. 

 

I'm sorry, Madonna. I don't even know if that's true. Maybe you just decided your paths were heading in different directions and you didn't want him holding you back. At least you were honest with him and didn't lead him on.

I read an interview where you admitted to being insensitive and self-absorbed at times. But, I think I also read somewhere that your strongest trait was your ambition. Why should any of your goals and dreams be hindered by some guy? I think you even said you wished at times you were a million different people so you could stay with each boyfriend. So, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, Madonna. You probably never hurt any boyfriend intentionally. 

So, why did you marry Sean Penn a few months ago? You've only known him like six months, Madonna. Couldn't you have waited a little longer? Plus, when I think of Sean I think of his surfer character Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Spicoli says things like, “Dude, that's totally awesome!” Ha ha. I know Sean got praised for his performance in Bad Boys but it's hard to picture him as anyone other than Spicoli. Did you really say Sean is the “coolest guy in the universe.” I've read he is short-tempered and wild at times. Perhaps he's kind of a rebel like you. But, he's also committed to his career like you.  Perhaps his ambition inspires and attracts you. Well, I'm sure he's a great guy or you wouldn't have married him. You even got married on your birthday in August.

My birthday is in August too! We're both Leos. What is it with girls being so interested in astrology and horoscopes? I know girls who can tell you everything about the supposed personality characteristics of each zodiac sign. It's fun to read my daily horoscope but I'm not really sure I buy into astrology.

I was raised a Christian. I still go to church almost every Sunday. I'm don't have very strong faith. Sometimes I'm not sure I buy into prayer any more than I do astrology. So, you were raised a Catholic, huh? I even read that as a young girl you considered being a nun one day. Ha ha. I can't imagine you being a nun, Madonna.  A lot of people see you as a brazenly sexual entertainer who enjoys the spotlight.  Actually, I read that even now you would like to be a nun if you hadn't made it as an entertainer.  Very intriguing.  You're an enigma!  

Sometimes I would be at a dance on a Friday night like this. I'm an okay dancer. I'm not great but it's fun to go to the dances. Sometimes it's a live band and sometimes it's a DJ playing. I don't like one better than the other. A lot of guys don't like to dance but a pretty girl can usually persuade them to get on the dance floor especially for a slow dance. We usually have our Homecoming dance at a place called Dreamland. Cool name, huh?

My date for Homecoming this year was kind of a rebel. She's sort of a bad girl. Well, not really. She smokes cigarettes and likes to party. She's even smoked pot I think. But, who am I to jug? And, besides, she's really cute. I'm not sure why she agreed to go to Homecoming with me but we had some fun.

I had to escort one of the Homecoming Queen candidates that night at the game. I dressed up a little bit. I wore a tweed sport coat and a tie. But, I just wore jeans instead of dress pants. My tweed jacket was kind of a light blue which I suppose I shouldn't have worn since it was after Labor Day. Perhaps I should have worn a gray tweed with some black dress pants or maybe even a navy blue suit. What can I say?  Guys don't know that much about fashion including me. 

I dress kind of preppy sometimes with a polo shirt or Oxford button down and boat shoes. But, a lot of times I just wear a t-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. No one at my school stands out too much. We don't have any punks with leather jackets and spiked hair or goths dressed all in black with their hair dyed black.

You have a unique style though, Madonna, with the lace tops and skirts and fingerless gloves and bows in your hair and bracelets and crucifix jewelry. I've heard that a lot of girls want to copy your style. One of the freshman girls dressed like you for Halloween. They made her go home and change her clothes. Ha ha. Just kidding, Madonna.

 

After Halloween we had the Sweetheart Dance in early November. It's kind of like a harvest ball I guess since it's held in the fall after harvest. This year I went stag. I didn't have a date which was a bit depressing. My buddy Brad and I cruised around together for a while before the dance because he didn't have a date either. I drank a little raspberry schnapps mixed with Coke. But, don't tell my mom and dad.

We listened to some cassettes as we drove around. Brad likes hard rock like Kiss and Van Halen. We listened to Def Lepperd too. We didn't listen to any of your music. In fact, I only have one of your cassettes.  It's your debut album - the one simply entitled Madonna.  My older sister gave it to me for my birthday right after it was released.  She knew there was something unique about you.  I don't have Like a Virgin though. Don't be mad. I like your music a lot. I've heard you on the radio a lot. That's why I don't really need the cassette.  Have you ever listened to Casey Kasem's countdown? Coo guy, huh?

I only have a few cassettes. I have AC/DC and the Cars and the Police and Loverboy and ZZ Top. I have some Beatles too. My older sister has an REO Speedwagon record album.  My older sister likes your music.  I think she knew you were going to be big.  She took me with her to see Desperately Seeking Susan.  You were great in that movie, Madonna.

Well, anyway, the Sweetheart Dance was reasonably fun. I found some girls to dance with and made the most of the evening. 

Speaking of dancing, is it true you got a dance scholarship from the University of Michigan? That's what I read somewhere so it must be true. You must be really good to have gotten a scholarship. I wish you could come teach me some dance moves.

But, you left college early and took off to New York. I read that you only had thirty-five dollars and a dream when you got to New York. Did you really eat food out of garbage cans sometimes?  How could you give up a four-year free ride?  I couldn't do it.  You must be really brave. I get homesick just being at wrestling camp for a week. I bet you're really extroverted and outgoing. I wish I could be more like that. I'm introverted and quiet. I'm kind of shy. On the wrestling mat I'm tough. I'll aggressively attack my opponent. But, I feel sick and nervous if I have to give a speech or an oral report in class. And, when I'm on a date I never seem to have anything to talk about. I bet you always have plenty to say. I bet you're a lot of fun to be around. I wish I could be more like you. 

The only thing I'm good at is wrestling. Our season just started a couple weeks ago. Maybe this year I'll finally win a conference title and maybe even qualify for the state tournament.  I'm nervous though.  It's hard cutting weight sometimes.  And, sometimes I feel pressure to win.  I feel pressure to perform up to my potential.  I'm glad I have some talent and drive but then people expect big things.  My parents are really supportive though which is great.  I'm sorry you lost your Mom at a young age, Madonna.  That must have been really hard.  Perhaps losing her contributed to your ambition to achieve success. 

I know you had a small role in the movie Vision Quest. There aren't many movies with wrestlers as the main character. That's why Vision Quest is so cool.  It's a great movie and I'm glad you were part of it.  It may not be the most accurate depiction of high school wrestling but it was enjoyable.  And, I really like your song “Crazy for You” from the soundtrack. 

When I first heard your song “Material Girl” I liked it a lot but I was a bit put off by the lyrics which seemed to suggest you were a gold digger only interested in money. But, in the video it's clear you're a regular girl. You're a strong and independent woman who doesn't need a man's money and you just want a nice guy. I guess the irony of the song was lost on the journalists who gave you the nickname “Material Girl.”  I know for you money is mainly a means to an end. More money means being able to continue making music. More money means being able to help more people. I know what you really care about is creating your art and entertaining people. 

Your video for “Like a Virgin” is kind of strange, Madonna. What's the deal with that lion walking around Venice while your singing and dancing?  Maybe I'm not artistic enough to appreciate the symbolism.  I'm not just "like a virgin."  I am a virgin, Madonna.  My ex-girlfriend and I came close to being intimate at one point but it never happened.  I guess it wasn't meant to be.  Maybe I'll find the right girl one day.

Your music and your videos have really put you in the public eye. You've become a real pop icon. But, some of the drama in your personal life interests people even more. I think you intrigue people. People wonder what you're really like. Are you as wild and rebellious as people imagine you to be? I know you've probably gotten some bad press by idiots suggesting you're a bimbo or an airhead. I know you're not though. 

I've seen you on some magazine covers. I've bought some of them too. I saw you on the cover of People last spring so I bought a copy. I saw you on the cover of SPIN.  You even made the cover of Time.  You've really hit the big time.  I took some of the pictures from the magazines and pinned them to the bulletin board in my room.  I don't have an official poster of you yet though.  I guess I need to buy your newest cassette and a poster in the near future.

Madonna, there's a topic I've been hesitant to bring up. Last summer I saw some nude photos of you in a friend's copy of Playboy. I heard Penthouse had some nude photos as well. I know some people criticized you and said it would end your career. You declared, “I'm not ashamed of anything.” Good for you, Madonna. If you needed to make some money to feed yourself and survive when you first moved to New York by working as a figure model then so be it. A similar incident happened to Marilyn Monroe and she handled it well. Don't let those judgmental people get you down. And, besides, the pictures were tasteful and I think you looked beautiful. 

I know you can't speak to me, Madonna.  But, I have a sense you're trying to tell me something.  You must be here for a reason.  Perhaps as I've been speaking to you I've been speaking to myself as well.  I've made my thoughts concrete and visible.  I'm forced to acknowledge my dreams as well as my fears.  Maybe you're trying to tell me to be more ambitious.  You're telling me to go after what I want.  You're telling me to take some risks even it's scary because taking risks can lead to profound positive results.
Be bold and go for it!  That's what I need to do.

Well, Madonna, I'm getting really tired.  I can barely keep my eyes open.  I don't imagine I'll be seeing you again.  How often can one expect to have a supernatural experience after all? Thanks for listening, Madonna.

Madonna means “my lady” in Italian. I suppose you knew that. You're Italian after all. You know sometimes the Virgin Mary is referred to as Madonna. I guess that makes your name kind of special. You are special, Madonna. You will always be special and always be relevant. Perhaps you'll win an Academy Award or Golden Globe one day. And, if people aren't already calling you the “Queen of Pop” they will be soon enough.

Take care, Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone.