Senior Profiles

When I was a senior in high school, each of my classmates and I filled out a questionnaire which was then used to write up a brief profile of each individual for the local paper. These senior profiles had been going on for a number of years by the time I was nearing graduation. 

Quesions related to things like:

Parents/siblings

Nicknames

Favorite class

Favorite teacher

Other favorites like food, music, movies, and TV shows

Favorite high school moments/memories

Least favorite moments/memories

Most embarrassing moments

Extracurricular activities

Favorite expressions 

Pet peeves

Who do you admire or have as a role model?

How would you like to be remembered by the students and faculty?

Advice to underclassmen

Future plans

Dreams for the future

A lot of profiles weren't that interesting. Everyone seemed to like pizza and tacos. As far as I know no one ever said they enjoyed pâté de foies de volailles, followed by boeuf en croûte, finishing up with a tarte au citron. The responses for favorite music and movies were fairly pedestrian as well. A lot of people seemed to list Contemporary Literature as their favorite class. 

Advice to underclassmen was fairly generic. "Study hard but have fun too." "Just be yourself and not someone others think you should be."

I suppose I could have livened things up a bit by saying, "High school is like prison. It's survival of the fittest. So, find the biggest, meanest person on campus and beat the ever-loving crap out of them and no one will mess with you."

I don't think that would have gotten past the censors. 

Perhaps I could have offered a pithy saying like, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going."

A lot of profiles were cryptic when it came to favorite memories or embarrassing moments. Someone's favorite memory might be prom or a certain night at McDonald's. But there was never any detail. Speaking of McDonald's, my buddy said the f-word over the drive-thru speaker to a manager who refused to serve us one evening. Ha!

I was cryptic in my own senior profile as well declaring that my least favorite memory was my entire junior year. I never explained why. I'll explain now. I'd had a lot of girlfriend issues that school year. And I'd come up short in my attempts to win the conference wrestling tournament and qualify for the state wrestling tournament. But it wasn't THAT bad. 

I suppose for fun I could have written, "My favorite memory is that wonderful night when some friends and I crossed the border into Tijuana, and I finally became a real man - if you know what I mean."

After perusing a few old newspapers, I noticed a few classmates mention an M-80 going off in the lunchroom. An M-80 is basically a large powerful firecracker. I must have missed lunch that day because surely, I would have remembered that sort of explosion. 

I did have some interesting nicknames. One I can't mention because it's a bit naughty. One of my female classmates called me Smurf or Papa Smurf sometimes because of my stature I suppose. Some guys had taken to calling me Tyrone for some reason. One female classmate told her father about this and one day he asked her how Taiwan was doing? So, after that she often called me Taiwan. I don't look Asian whatsoever, but I liked how it sounded exotic or mysterious. 

I think some classmates had nicknames they didn't care for because they didn't mention those names in their profiles. I don't blame them. 

A lot of my classmates were heading off to college or some sort of schooling after graduation. Some were going to junior colleges like Kirkwood or technical institutes like Hawkeye Tech, NITI, or NIACC. Some of the career paths seemed to follow traditional gender roles. A lot of girls were going to study cosmetology, bookkeeping, or secretarial work. Some girls were already planning their weddings. Some guys were joining the military. Some guys were pre-veterinarian or pre-medical. 

One girl was planning on attending the Patricia Stevens school in Milwaukee for public relations and then becoming a flight attendant. Yes, she did become a flight attendant and has had a fulfilling life as far as I know. 

I recall speaking to a female classmate on the phone during fall of our senior year. We were discussing our future plans and she said, "Well, don't laugh but I'm thinking about attending bartending school."

One of my classmates claimed he was planning on attending the Mason City College of Auctioneering. Now that's not your average career path. 

Another classmate wrote that he might join the army or study biochemical engineering. I realize now he was probably joking about the biochemical engineering. 

Our Finnish foreign exchange student knew that he'd be attending school for two more years and then entering the military. Finland had universal male conscription. According to the Constitution of Finland every Finnish citizen is obligated to participate in national defense. I think our exchange student may have been required to serve for a year. I believe he eventually became a professor. 

I asked a distant cousin of mine what college he was attending. He said he wasn't going to college, and I felt stupid for asking the question and assuming everyone was going on to some kind of schooling after graduation. As far as I know he became a very successful salesman. 

A lot of jokes have been made about DeVry, but I know a couple of people who have graduated and found jobs in areas like electronics. 

I seem to recall some Army recruiters vising our school one day during my senior year. As I recall all of the males in my class were required to attend this meeting. We were asked to sign a card with our vital information and assured it didn't mean we were joining the Army. 

"Yeah, right. The next thing you know we'll all be in basic training," joked one of the guys. 

I once had an Army recruiter tell me that I looked to be in superb shape and that perhaps I would enjoy the challenge of being in the Army Special Forces. Me?

I also attended a meeting with a recruiter from the Marines. I only went because a buddy asked me to go with him. Then I had to explain to the recruiter I had no interest whatsoever in joining up. 

One former graduate who was a senior when I was a freshman wrote that his dream was to be a Harley biker. I have no idea whether or not he has ever owned a Harley after graduation.

One gal from a previous class proclaimed she wanted to be a DHIA (Dairy Herd Improvement Association) supervisor. She envisioned herself raising kids on a hog farm and testing cows' milk. 

Another former schoolmate had the dream of becoming President of the United States. That's a bit ambitious. 

I wrote that my dream was to become a professional bodybuilder and own a gym one day. No, that did not happen. You'd laugh if you saw me now or when I was sick with anorexia, but I had a pretty good physique in high school.

A lot of my classmate's careers went in directions they didn't expect. One classmate planned on a career teaching Industrial Arts. But he became a very successful Licensed Athletic Trainer. 

Guys who were planning on medical or graphic design careers became businessmen. 

One young man who loved dinosaurs and used to write short stories featuring hydroponic gardens dreamt of becoming a park ranger entrusted with protecting park resources and park visitors. I believe at one point he became a certified automotive mechanic after attending a local community college.

My father had attended Chicago Technical College for drafting.

"Practically everything that's built or manufactured these days is constructed from blueprint drawings prepared by the draftsman. He is the KEY man in industry. No new machines can be built, no bridges erected, no buildings constructed until the draftsman has completed his work."

My dad became a successful farmer. 

I admired those classmates that could just pack up their car and head to another state to seek their fortune. One of my buddies became a police officer after a few twists of fate. I believe the singer Madonna simply took off for New York City at some point in her life without knowing she'd become a successful pop star. I was never very courageous or bold. 

I was also jealous of those individuals who knew exactly what they wanted to do and had their lives all mapped out. If you'd asked me as a senior where I'd be in twenty years, I'd have had no clue. 

When I was working at a big box retailer as a cashier, I had a former classmate come through my line. He was buying baby food or something. I asked about his career. He was a salesman of sorts with ten or twenty guys working under him. Great!

One of my buddies continued on in the grocery business for a bit after graduation before heading off to lineman school. He'd decided to become a lineman like his dad. Yes, I was happy for him and his successful career that followed. 

Whatever happened to apprenticeships? When was the last time someone told you they were an apprentice? Did you know the celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey enrolled at North Oxfordshire Technical College, sponsored by the Rotarians, to study hotel management? He described his decision to enter catering college as "a complete accident."

Then he was mentored by many other famous chefs in England and France before finally becoming a head chef. 

I worked with an engineer one summer at the local REC. We measured out where powerline poles would be placed. He would work out calculations on a desk in the van. I asked if he'd went to school for this work. He replied that he'd been to the School of Hard Knocks. He'd learned his trade while working for a consulting engineering firm for forty years that he'd originally only planned to spend a year at.  

Somone entered one of my male classmates in TEEN magazine's Dream Guy Contest during our senior year. He was named a semi-finalist at one point. I don't know if he ever became a model later in life though. I think he became a successful financial adviser. 

One of my classmates played one season for the Boston Celtics. Show off! He was at a class reunion, and someone asked him about his basketball career, and he said he was waiting to hear from his agent. Agent? Wow! 

Most everyone seemed to want to be remembered as a nice person. No one wanted to be remembered as a brown noser, delinquent, jerk, gigolo, or tramp. Some wanted to be remembered as a person who followed their own path and didn't care what others thought. 

I wrote, "I want to be remembered as the cutest, coolest, most badass dude to ever grace the campus of PHS."

Hey, they asked how I wanted to be remembered. They didn't say it had to be based in reality. I'm just kidding. I was one of those boring people who wanted to be remembered as a friendly guy. 

One of my classmates wanted to be remembered as a royal partier. The thing is I don't remember him attending a single party. I don't think he ever had access to alcohol. I'm fairly certain he thought drinking a can of Mountain Dew was somewhat daring. I never saw him at a school dance or sporting event either. Perhaps he didn't have access to a car. Perhaps he was truly a partier at heart but never got a chance to display that aspect of his personality. 

During my eighth-grade year I recall one class assignment involving prophecies. We divided into groups and each group would write a prophecy for each person in the class. In other words, we had to predict what each class member would be doing as an adult. This sort of assignment can be fun but also has the possibility to be cruel. My group was rather despicable when it came to imagining some of our classmate's future lives. Even a girl in my own group suggested my prophecy should involve me ending up in some sort of institution. Okay, that did actually happen. So, touché!

Since I was on the wrestling team, one of the other groups predicted I would become a sumo wrestler. I am a person who is small in stature, and I only weighed about 80 pounds at the time, so I suppose that made it even funnier. 

I did like one of my prophecies. The narrative involved me following an important man around at a party or event of some sort I believe. Then it was revealed that my profession was being a bodyguard. Cool! I never imagined being a bodyguard when graduation neared. I had done some career research assignments about FBI and CIA agents though. I guess I wanted to be James Bond. 

When I was a boy, I dreamt of being a scuba diver, deep sea diver, astronaut, cowboy, and pirate. My only nickname was buck or buckaroo. I liked Saturday morning cartoons and going to A&W for burgers and fries. The one thing I didn't care for was getting up early for school. Other than that, life was pretty good.