My new co-worker. Young and beautiful. I didn't say a word to you for a month at the thrift store we worked at because I was too scared to even introduce myself. I thought perhaps you were cool and conceited. You were a beautiful Hispanic woman. I might say something stupid. But finally, one day I said hello and we introduced ourselves. Right away I knew you were special. Once I got to know you, I tried learning some Spanish to impress you.
"Yo soy un hombre hermoso," I said suggesting that I was a beautiful man.
You laughed and said, "Yes you are! It took a lot of confidence for you to say that! Good for you."
One day I said, "Te extrañé mucho." I was trying to tell you I had missed you very much. I must have said it correctly because you smiled and put your hand to your heart and said you had missed me as well.
Estoy cansado y triste means I am tired and sad. "Why are you sad?" you wondered. I may have said life was hard or something to that effect and you nodded knowingly.
I told you my mother sometimes made meatballs for Christmas dinner. You told me your mother made a meatball soup called albondigas. We bonded over meatballs! I asked you about mole sauce and you were impressed when I said I thought it had chocolate in it. I asked you and Edwin about menudo. Edwin liked it a lot, but you didn't.
One day I asked, "Have you ever had chile relleno?" You laughed and said your mother made it all the time and that it was one of your favorites. You mentioned tamales and I mentioned them being steamed in corn husks which I think impressed you. I'd seen it on a TV show one time. But the only tamales I really knew about came in a can which I didn't mention. Your mother had made tamales and pozole for Thanksgiving. I even asked if your mother had ever used nopales (cactus) in her cooking. You said, "I can tell you have been doing your research."
"Do you like hot wings?" I asked one day.
You laughed and said, "Of course. I'm Mexican. I love spicy food. It wouldn't be right if I didn't. It's like a rule. If you're Mexican, you have to love spicy food."
The only hot wings I'd ever had were "mild" and even those were too hot for me. You even like to snack on Flamin' Hot Cheetos. I told you we couldn't be together. We could never eat the same food.
At least I didn't say something like, "You're Mexican so you must like tacos and tequila."
You're not like the others of your generation. You don't care about smartphones or social media. You'd rather read a book or play a board game. You like to hang out with your dogs.
One day at work I handed you a handheld Space Invaders game and you started playing it right away. I was impressed you were somehow familiar with this arcade game from the late 1970s.
You assigned me "homework" to complete. I watched a bunch of Disney movies and other animated movies just so I could tell you what I thought of them. But you also knew who Clint Eastwood and John Wayne were which impressed me. I told you that in one John Wayne film (i.e. The Alamo), that a Mexican woman went by the name of Flaca. "It means skinny, right?" I asked. John Wayne's character thought it was funny that a curvaceous woman had grown up being called skinny.
I was surprised when you mentioned loving martial arts films with Jackie Chan and Jet Li. You didn't just mention kung fu or karate. You specifically mentioned the art of Wing Chun and even mentioned Wing Chun master Ip Man. Who are you? I too have seen all of the Ip Man movies.
I'm not sure you were all that impressed with my wrestling background. I tried not to brag about being a champion.
You like elephants and Winnie-the-Pooh. One day I found a tiny elephant with a magnet on the back. I brought it up front where you were cashiering and handed it to you and saw your face light up. Another day I found a book called Your Pet Elephant that someone had donated. I brought it to you while you were cashiering once again. You leafed through it right away. You said you'd hang onto it a while. You brought it back to donations later that day before going home. You were sad to part with the book. Why do you like elephants? I guess I should ask.
Elephant traits include patience, wisdom, strength, loyalty, and strong familial bonds. They can also be a symbol of good luck.
When I told you I liked chipmunks you thought it was amusing. I like watching chipmunks run around.
I've learned they represent a balance between thinking, action, instincts and mere luck, which is something every living creature needs to survive. Saying that, we could also see chipmunks as symbols of survival.
Chipmunks know life requires tactics and organization. It seems as if they just randomly do things; however, chipmunks are pretty organized and thoughtful of their future.
They do not want to come into a situation where they lack basic resources for survival; that is why they carefully store lots of food before winter comes.
I do think I'm an observant person who is fond of planning and preparation. But I also like to have fun.
I wonder if you have heard the 1975 song "Paloma Blanca."
Una paloma blanca
I'm just a bird in the sky
Una paloma blanca
Over the mountains I fly
No one can take my freedom away
I wonder if you've heard the song "Vaya Con Dios."
Now the hacienda's dark, the town is sleeping
Now the time has come to part, the time for weeping
Vaya con Dios, my darling
Vaya con Dios, my love
Now the village mission bells are softly ringing
If you listen with your heart you'll hear them singing
Vaya con dios, my darling
Vaya con dios, my love
Wherever you may be, I'll be beside you
Although you're many million dreams away
Each night I'll say a prayer, a prayer to guide you
To hasten every lonely hour of every lonely day
Now the dawn is breaking through a gray tomorrow
But the memories we share are there to borrow
Vaya con dios, my darling
Vaya con dios, my love
Vaya con dios, my darling
Vaya con dios, my love
One day my hair was messed up from the wind. How was I going to look guapo I wondered. You asked me who I wanted to look guapo (handsome) for.
"Does cariño mean sweetheart?" I asked one day. You laughed and said, "Yes."
You didn't ask me why I wanted to know. I guess you already knew why I was asking. But don't fall for me. Find a nice, young man who will share an amazing life with you that you deserve.
My phone rang and I let the machine answer. I had just gotten home. My doctor was calling. I'd just seen her a couple hours earlier. When I'd had my appointment earlier, she'd ordered some blood labs and also had me undergo a simple abdominal x-ray.
I picked up the phone when she said she had some results she was reluctant to give me over the telephone. She said my abdominal x-ray had shown I had a dilated colon. She was concerned about what might be causing this and suggested that I go to the emergency room immediately and get a CT scan of my abdomen. She was concerned something life-threatening may be a possibility. I almost asked, "Won't I be sitting in the ER for hours?"
But I simply said, "Okay."
I was a little bit scared. What if something really is wrong? My stomach had been hurting more than usual lately. I tried to find my neighbor's number that I'd written on a slip of paper in case they admitted me. I couldn't find it. So, off I went.
I was kind of disappointed because I just wanted to relax and watch a movie. Couldn't I just get an x-ray later? I didn't really have a life-threatening condition, did I? I'm always the guy who goes to the doctor complaining of pain and finds out he's just fine.
When I walked in, I had to talk to security first. Then I checked in at the front desk. I'd never been in an ER in my entire life. But, it looked like I expected. The room was filled with a lot of people. I walked toward the back and found a seat.
Some people to my right were using sign language to communicate. Some people were in wheelchairs. One woman was pacing the length of the room back and forth. Some people were talking. A lot of people were using their smartphones to make calls, listen to music, or do other tasks. What did people do before smartphones? Did they bring a book to the ER?
I got called over fairly quickly. But it was misleading. They were simply checking my vitals and asking me what was wrong. Is this called triage? Well, I'm guessing they decided my condition was not severe. The nurse told me I could return to the waiting room.
I have a friend who had been a paramedic in the military. She told me that military triage differed from civilian triage. The goals of combat medicine are to return the greatest number of soldiers to combat, and then to preserve life. Historically, military triage placed the highest value on soldiers who could be returned quickly to the battle lines, so the highest priority wounded were those who could be patched up and returned to duty.
I returned to my seat figuring I was in for a long night. I heard others complaining about the wait. Some gave up and went home of their own volition. Some had been waiting for hours and I had just arrived so I knew I was going to be there for hours. I too thought of leaving but decided to wait for at least a little while.
A man was soon wheeled next to my seat. He had infection in a foot he'd injured previously. He was tired, hungry, and in pain. His ride had left so he was hoping to be admitted otherwise he wasn't sure how he'd get home. A little later he found out he'd be admitted but it might take a while before a bed was available. So, he had to sit and wait.
An elderly woman was also waiting for a bed to become available. She was tired and in tears at times. She had her daughter with her for a while. But her daughter finally left because she had to work in the morning and it was getting late. Another woman was having eye hemorrhages which sounded really scary but might not be as bad as it sounds. She may have had other issues like high blood pressure as well. I think both of these woman were former employees of the hospital but they still had to wait like everyone else.
Two daughters had been waiting with their father for hours. He was in a wheelchair and was getting uncomfortable. Eventually the daughters got some blankets from an aide and tried to get some sleep.
A heavy-set gentleman was in a wheelchair. I think he'd arrived by ambulance much earlier. I think he called a relative or friend and asked for a ride, but they declined to help him. He was afraid there would be no taxis available when he was allowed to go home. A pretty young woman recognized him and said hello. He had driven a taxicab years earlier it seems and she remembered him. I think it brightened his day a bit to be remembered and acknowledged by someone.
An elderly woman with chest pains eventually left. She was tired of waiting. A young man rested his head on his girlfriend's shoulder. People would walk to the desk at times to complain or ask where they were on the list. Occasionally the nurses or aides were confronted. I simply accepted the fact that there were only a finite number of doctors and beds available.
The young man and his girlfriend finally gave up and left. He declared he'd rather die than come back to that hospital. I don't believe he or his girlfriend had insurance although I think she was going to have insurance in the near future. She asked for a referral of some sort for her boyfriend before they left. Obviously, she didn't want to see him die although she understood his frustration with waiting so long.
I too got frustrated. I even got angry seeing ambulances pulling up figuring that would make my wait time even longer. Then I'd feel guilty about such mean thoughts and say a prayer.
Eventually they called me back. I was escorted to a small room and a curtain was pulled after I was seated. I could hear the nurses chatting about their work schedules and personal problems. I was right there behind the curtain. Surely, they knew I could hear them. I wasn't bothered by their talking. I found it interesting. They were working in this chaotic place of life and death and yet seemed to be taking it all in stride. They were chatting away just like employees do in most work situations. I found it kind of amusing actually. I guess doctors and nurses are people too.
Eventually the curtain was pulled back and a beautiful brunette woman dressed in black scrubs walked in and sat next to me. She had compassion in her green eyes and in her voice. She told me she was a physician assistant and would be helping me. She apologized for my long wait and asked me what had brought me in. I told her about my doctor's visit the prior day and the phone call I'd received.
"Are you in pain?" she asked.
"No," I answered feeling like an Idiot. Why AM I here?
She asked if she could feel my abdomen. I gave my permission, and she gingerly touched my abdomen and asked if I had any pain or tenderness. I again told her I felt fine. I wasn't in pain. I wasn't experiencing nausea. We discussed bowel movements and laxatives. I enjoy talking to beautiful female doctors about my bowel movements. 😊 I told her I had a history involving anorexia. I told her they actually use a fairly liberal amount of laxatives on the eating disorder unit though that might seem strange.
I was about to blurt out, "Okay, I get it. My young general practitioner jumped the gun and got overzealous. I have wasted my time being here and now I'm wasting yours. I'll just be going now."
I think she explained that she was questioning me so that if a CT scan was done she'd know what to be looking for. She soon left my side. I think she went to look at my abdominal x-ray from the previous day.
One of my father's cousins had to visit the ER once because he fell on a beer bottle at a party leading to a lacerated rear end. He went to the ER and a doctor looked at the cut in his butt crack and said they needed to call in a specialist. Greg was lying down on his stomach when a beautiful female doctor looking like the actress Nicole Kidman walked into the room.
Greg looked up and in a defeated tone said, "Oh God! Do you want to look at my butt too?"
"I sure do," she said.
I, however, continued to wait.
Soon a male doctor appeared. What happened to the beautiful female? You might think I am sounding sexist.I'm sorry but she was pretty, and I wasn't dead. Yes, she was definitely intelligent, talented, and professional. This man was evidently a staff doctor and mentioned he'd spoken with the green-eyed beauty about my situation. Well, he referred to her by her name, but you know what I mean. He asked me the same questions she had and also felt my abdomen. They both may have asked me about certain bowel ailments which I assured them I did not have diagnoses for.
"Well, your doctor was concerned that you might have an obstruction in your colon. But I really doubt that is the case here," he said.
I thought he was going to suggest I simply go home but he said, "Well, let's do the CT scan just to be sure."
A nurse came in and said she was going to insert an IV into my arm.
"Why do I need an IV?" I asked. I was kind of scared they planned on putting me out for the procedure.
"The IV is so a contrast agent can be injected into you which helps the x-ray show up better," she replied. I got the feeling that she got tired of answering questions from guys like me all day.
I knew what contrast material was. I'd had contrast used in an MRI x-ray many years earlier. I still didn't like the idea of contrast material being put in my body. But I didn't feel like I was in a position to back out now.
The x-ray technician came and escorted me to the x-ray area. He told me how to position myself. The x-ray itself was really simple and not frightening or painful at all. It was done quickly. When he spoke to me over a speaker telling me to hold my breath and then later that I could breathe again it was a bit strange. I recently heard a comedian comment on how we're told x-rays are safe and yet the technician always leaves the room and hides and sometimes they shield you with a lead apron. Ha! I'm glad the technician warned me that I might experience a reaction from the contrast agent like feeling a warmth from head to toe and feeling like going to the bathroom. That's exactly what happened although the sensation passed quickly.
As he was walking me back to the waiting room, he asked me where I was from. I told him how I'd originally grown up in northeast Iowa. It turned out he had as well. Small world as the saying goes.
My waiting, of course, was still not over. I had to wait for the physicians to look at the x-ray results and consult with me one last time. By this time I think it was around 4:00 AM. The ER was basically deserted. One patient other than myself may have been in the waiting room. Security personal were still around. One security officer was rounding up stray wheelchairs. Two housekeeping people had arrived and were emptying trash cans and sweeping.
I was standing a lot at this point because I was tired of sitting and wanted to go home. I stood and watched the news on one of the two televisions in the waiting room. There was a story about actor Fred Savage being fired from a show for misconduct. And an escaped inmate and a corrections officer who had been missing were apprehended by police.
Finally, a nurse called my name again. She took me to an area where I sat on a small couch or loveseat of some sort. The green-eyed physician assistant came over and sat beside me. She told me the good news was that there was no bowel obstruction or anything seriously wrong. That should have made me happy, but it only convinced me all the more that I'd wasted my time and theirs by coming to the ER.
She did tell me that I had something called an ileus. When your colon can't move to push food and waste out of your body, it's called ileus. She said that it would take care of itself and was nothing to be concerned about. Ileus can become serious at times and most often occurs after abdominal surgery. Nonetheless, she said I would be fine. She said I should cut back on laxatives even though I was clearly constipated. She said I should follow-up with a colonoscopy in the near future because of this situation although mainly because of my age. I'm not exactly a young man anymore.
"Come back here if you feel nauseous, vomit, can't eat or can't have bowel movements," she said.
"Come back here to the ER?" I asked as I motioned to the room we were in. I was thinking I will never go to the ER again unless I'm in an ambulance.
We exchanged "goodbyes" and I headed to the check-out area. I was concerned about my car which I'd left in a parking ramp because I wasn't sure about parking when I'd arrived. A nice young man at the desk told me not to worry and handed me a parking voucher. I went to my car and used the voucher and thanked God when the gate lifted and I drove out of the parking ramp.
When I got home, I took some medication and ate a quick bite and climbed into to bed around 5:30 AM. I went to work later that afternoon.
Well, I've now had the experience of visiting the emergency room. Yes, I understand the importance of emergency rooms. Due to the unplanned nature of patient attendance, the department must provide initial treatment for a broad spectrum of illnesses and injuries, some of which may be life-threatening and require immediate attention. In some countries, emergency departments have become important entry points for those without other means of access to medical care.
I had a lot of time to observe people in pain and a lot of time to think while waiting in the ER. I now believe we should have universal healthcare. Not that I was ever really against it. How do we as a country pay for it? I don't know. But, I have a better appreciation of the need for healthcare. If someone's only option is to visit the ER and it involves waiting for hours then they might simply walk out and take their chances.
The headline read, "Local Cable TV Hooks Postville Tube Watchers." In 1984, the small Iowa town where I attended school offered cable TV to its residents for the first time. The citizens were provided with 13 basic channels for $9.00 a month. Two premium channels, HBO and Cinemax, were available for an additional $9.00 a piece per month. However, if one opted to get both movie channels the second one was only $7.00 a month. So, if one were to get all 15 channels it would come to $25.00 a month.
When cable TV arrived in Postville, I was becoming close to a blond-haired coed. Blondie and I had been talking and flirting during the school day. I was a sophomore, and she was a freshman. The arrival of cable TV offered her an easy way of asking me to come over and hang out.
"You should come to my house. We can watch cable," she'd say.
Perhaps if I'd grown up during an earlier era, she would've invited me over to listen to the radio or records played on her phonograph.
I lived on a farm a few miles from town so, of course, we didn't have cable. One of our neighbors had a big satellite dish but that was rare in the 1980s. At our house the television reception wasn't the best even with an aerial antenna. We had clear reception for ABC and NBC. But the reception for CBS was poor if it came in at all. PBS had poor to no reception as well. But, for the most part, I was content with only two channels. Sometimes on a Saturday morning we'd put up with the snowy, poor-quality picture reception on CBS so we could watch Looney Tunes cartoons. If we wanted to watch the Iowa State High School Wrestling Championships on Iowa Public Television, we'd go to one of my grandparents' houses where there was better reception.
I did go to Blondie's house a few times under the pretext of watching cable TV. I found the so-called cable box compelling. Instead of a handheld remote, a cable box covered with a fake wood veneer was hardwired to the television. Blondie's cable box was connected to the television with a cable. One selected a desired channel by simply moving a horizontal slider from channel to channel.
One evening we happened upon a movie in which a couple was having sex. The man was on top of the woman sweating and making a lot of noise. Blondie started laughing nervously. We continued to watch the movie though. When the couple was finished having sex the man was upset with the woman because to his dismay she is never able to have an orgasm with him. Of course, the mention of orgasm made Blondie even more embarrassed. It was kind of funny but awkward that two teenagers watching cable happened upon a sex scene.
When I was in college, I came upon some racy material on cable one evening as well. I was hanging out with my buddy Curtis late one evening flipping through the channels on cable. I came upon a scene where a maid was on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor. She realized that her male employer was watching her so she scrubbed vigorously being sure to move her rear end a lot. She found it amusing that she almost gave her master a heart attack by teasing him. I found out years later the film involved three stories and was entitled The Secrets of Love: Three Rakish Tales. The film was an anthology of three films consisting of screen adaptations of three erotic stories by pre-20th-century French authors and was originally produced for French television. Thank God for cable TV!
I didn't watch much cable TV during college. I was too busy studying. Just kidding. I rarely seemed to be able to sit down at the television in the lounge without other people showing up which would make me uncomfortable, and I would leave. I am an introvert and shy and was always concerned they wouldn't like what I was watching.
I do recall watching A Little Romance late one evening when no one else was around. The movie involves two teenagers living in Paris who fall in love and travel to Venice because of a tradition that if a couple kiss in a gondola beneath the Bridge of Sighs in Venice at sunset while the church bells toll, they will be in love forever.
I also seem to recall watching Snorks on the USA Cartoon Express on USA Network early some mornings. Cartoon Express was the first structured animation block on cable television, predating Nickelodeon's Nicktoons and Cartoon Network by a decade.
I wasn't into MTV in college. I did like music videos. I was a fan of Friday Night Videos on NBC. Friday Night Videos took advantage of the fact that many areas in the early 1980s were still not serviced by cable television and that not all cable television providers offered MTV at first. But, when I was finally able to watch MTV in college I was unmoved. A channel that played music videos all day long was a bit much.
During my last year of college, I "discovered" Iowa Public Television on the little black and white television I had in my room. I continued to watch IPTV after graduation. I found shows devoted to carpentry, cooking, gardening, home improvement, painting, sewing, and travel. PBS also showed British comedies like Are You Being Served? and Keeping Up Appearances.
Of course, now cable and satellite TV offer entire networks devoted to all of these categories and more. For example, one can watch Food Network, Home & Garden Television, and Travel Channel.
My parents signed up to receive DIRECTV in the mid 1990s. It only required a small dish and a receiver. The dish was small compared to the old C-Band satellite dishes. It was interesting having access to all of those networks like USA, TBS, TNT, MTV, VH1, and so on. I enjoyed the History Channel, Turner Classic Movies, and the Cartoon Network. It was even possible to rent movies right through the television. I believe the service was called Direct Ticket back then. None of this would've seemed possible during my high school days.
A photo of the back side of an old C-band satellite dish by Bmag32 at English Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=54600115
Another new technology introduced to my generation was the videocassette recorder (VCR). Even with cable television, consumers were still limited to watching a show when it aired or missing it entirely. The VCR allowed people to record TV shows to watch when they pleased. The VHS format became dominant. The VCR and VHS tapes exploded in popularity throughout the 1980s and ’90s. Blockbuster was established in 1985, allowing people to rent movies and shows for the first time to watch at their convenience.
I went on a road trip with a buddy during my senior year of high school to see a concert. We stayed overnight at his brother's place the night before the concert. We rented a VCR from a grocery store or perhaps it was a convenience store. That's right. You could rent a VCR back in those days as well as the movies you wished to watch. The VCR was in a briefcase or suitcase of sorts so you could transport it easily. I believe we watched The Wanderers from 1979. As I recall, someone had also loaned us a pornographic movie on a VHS tape that for some reason played back too quickly. We didn't want to watch pornography that appeared to be in fast forward so we just gave up in despair. I did watch a pornographic VHS in college for the first with some floormates.
Some people claim that we have the VCR to thank for the "on demand" experience some of us take for granted now of watching what we want when we want. Netflix and other streaming services allow us to do just that.
Perhaps if I was coming of age now, Blondie would not invite me over to watch cable but instead to watch Netflix and chill.
Even children seem to appreciate the importance of wedding ceremonies and the covenant of marriage. They understand marriage vows and the exchanging of rings. They see marriages in movies, soap operas, dramas, and sitcoms. They even see marriages in cartoons. In Rabbit of Seville, Bugs Bunny tricks Elmer Fudd into marrying him. Bugs is the groom and Elmer is tricked into being the blushing bride. Then we hear part of the "Wedding March" by Mendelssohn being played.
And, of course, as children we attend real weddings. I believe I once saw a man get married in his military uniform. I asked my mother what that big wooden box was at the front of the church. It was a confessional booth. I'd never been in a Catholic church before.
Children sometimes pretend to get married. Perhaps a ring is even given to the bride. I believe a picture exists somewhere showing one of my male cousins officiating a marriage between two other children. Interestingly, my cousin became a pastor as an adult.
"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage."
"Here comes the bride,
All dressed in white,
Stepped on a banana peel,
and went for a ride."
"Here comes the groom, skinny as a broom."
Sometimes teenage lovers speak playfully about getting married one day. My high school
girlfriend and I spoke about it at times. She thought that perhaps we could sing "Almost Paradise" to each other as she walked down the aisle.
"Oh, almost paradise
We're knockin' on heaven's door Almost paradise How could we ask for more? I swear that I can see forever in your eyes Paradise"
We, of course, never got married. My college girlfriend and I spoke of marriage as well. Our talk of marriage was a bit more realistic. But her wealthy parents didn't much care for me. I think they would've liked to marry her off to a doctor or lawyer or perhaps even a duke. I'm sure they would have settled for a count or an earl. Perhaps they could have married her off to a land-rich cash-poor aristocrat. He could have gotten her wealth and she a title.
I did have a beautiful woman who wanted to marry me once not so long ago. She all but said, "If you ask for my hand, I will give it." But I was experiencing physical and emotional problems and was afraid I would make her miserable. I couldn't bear that thought so I never asked her to marry me. Soon she left my life never to be seen or heard from again.
As a little boy I was asked to be the ring bearer at a wedding. I even got to wear a tuxedo with a frilly shirt. I've been an usher a couple of times and I even took on the nontraditional role of being my younger sister's Man of Honor. Never fear. I wasn't asked to plan a bridal shower or a bachelorette party. I should've given a toast at the reception perhaps, but I guess I wasn't aware of all the duties expected of the position. So, I've been in some weddings but have never been the groom. What's that saying? Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
* * * *
I find traditional Christian wedding ceremonies quite interesting. Perhaps these lines seem familiar:
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God in the time of man’s innocency, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church: which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence and first miracle that he wrought in Cana of Galilee, and is commended of Saint Paul to be honorable among all men: and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God. Into this holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. If any man can show just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace."
I find the traditional vows rather sweet.
"In the name of God, I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. This is my solemn vow."
Some couples like to write their own vows which can be sweet.
Exchanging rings is nice.
"With this ring I thee wed, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."
And you know the rest.
"Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder.
By the power vested in me by God and man, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride."
* * * *
Couples have to be careful when writing their own vows. If your partner showers you with beautiful words of love and commitment and all you can say is "ditto" then you might find yourself sleeping alone on your honeymoon.
Remember that a vow is a pledge or promise and not just cute anecdotes and what you like about the other person.
For example:
Jane, you came into my life when I felt I had reached rock bottom. At first, I simply knew you as the cute woman behind the desk at the library. Little did I know I would soon be volunteering alongside you at the library. You came along when I needed love and hope the most. I wasn't sure why this beautiful woman cared about my wellbeing and wanted to spend time with me, but I needed that support, and you were there for me. You have stuck by me through the best and worst and loved all that I am. You help me to be the finest version of me that I can. As your husband, I promise to love you with the same determination and confidence you've given me. I vow to support you through more ups and downs. I pledge to commit myself to you and our relationship and the good I know will grow from it. I promise this all to you until I am no more.
Or do something nice like Oliver and Jenny in Love Story.
* * * *
Some wedding dances involve having a so-called money dance. Gentlemen can dance with the bride and give her some money.
The money dance is a cultural tradition at many wedding receptions where guests offer the newlyweds money to dance with them, or they shower the couple with money. The custom is to help establish the couple in their new life together, or to show how much they are loved and appreciated.
I recall seeing a money dance at the wedding of one of my father's cousins. The bride danced with different gentlemen and each man slipped her some money which I believe she stuffed in her dress. Then one of the groom's brothers decided to be funny. A door was on the far end of the dance floor that led outside. So, he began dancing with the bride and started dancing toward the door as if to steal her away. I think that stunt got a lot of laughs as I recall.
* * * *
Philadelphia-native movie star Grace Kelly met Monaco's Prince Rainier III while attending the Cannes Film Festival in 1955. After a yearlong romance, the couple made things official on April 19, 1956, in a lavish ceremony that put any other royal wedding ceremony to shame.
Grace Kelly's wedding dress has become the symbol of fairy-tale weddings, and one of the most-often-referenced wedding gowns in history.
On December 17, 1969, the novelty performer Tiny Tim - who famously sang "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" in a falsetto voice - married Miss Vicki on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show. The set was decorated with 10,000 tulips. At the time, it was the highest-ever rating for a talk show, pulling in 45 million viewers. In the 1960s, the Tiny Tim wedding audience was second only to the moon landing.
Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer married in July 1981 in a famously lavish royal wedding in St. Paul's Cathedral. The wedding, which was broadcast on television and seen by around 750 million people around the world, is still considered one of the most memorable royal weddings of all time.
Luke Spencer and Laura Webber Baldwin said “I do” on November 16, 1981, in front of 30 million guests in the soap opera General Hospital becomingdaytime television's most legendary wedding of all time.
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Music is, of course, an important consideration when planning a wedding. Music sets a tone, stirs up emotions, and shares a message with your guests, so picking the right songs is key—as is making sure they’re a good fit for the ceremony you have planned.
Pachelbel's "Canon in D" and Bach's "Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring" are both lovely prelude pieces to play while your guests wait for the wedding party to enter the ceremony.
If I were to get married, I could have some nice processional music played as my groomsmen and I enter. If I were to proceed down the aisle to Chopin's "Funeral March" as sort of a joke, it's likely my bride would call off the wedding.
I must admit I like the traditional "Here Comes the Bride" as processional music for the bride. The "Bridal Chorus" from the 1850 opera Lohengrin by German composer Richard Wagner is a march played for the bride's entrance at many formal weddings throughout the Western world. In English-speaking countries, it is generally known as "Here Comes the Bride" or "Wedding March", but "wedding march" refers to any piece in march tempo accompanying the entrance or exit of the bride, notably Felix Mendelssohn's "Wedding March". Wagner’s piece was made popular when it was used as the processional at the wedding of Victoria the Princess Royal to Prince Frederick William of Prussia in 1858.
As for recessional music it's hard to beat Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" in my opinion although "Trumpet Voluntary" by Jeremiah Clarke is also beautiful as is Beethoven's "Ode to Joy."
When a college friend was married his father sang "The Lord's Prayer" at the ceremony and it was beautiful and powerful. My buddy also had a female friend who was a harpist, and she played her beautiful harp music that day.
"Wedding Song (There Is Love)" as sung by Noel Paul Stookey was popular at one time. It may have been performed at one of my sister's weddings.
A man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home
And they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one.
As it was in the beginning is now and til the end
Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again.
And there is Love, there is Love.
Oh the marriage of your spirits here has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love, there is Love.
"A Thousand Years" as sung by Christina Perri has become a popular wedding song in recent years. Even if played as an instrumental it's still beautiful.
One step closer
One step closer
I have died everyday, waiting for you
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed, I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more
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Wedding cakes find their history in ancient Rome. The groom concluded the ceremony by breaking a loaf of barley bread over the bride’s head, symbolizing fertility.
My mother is a professional cake decorator. I saw her design plenty of wedding cakes for her customers over the years. I believe she even made wedding cakes for both of my sisters adding to her wedding planning stress.
The cake cutting represents the first activity done as a couple, although historically the bride did this act alone to symbolize the loss of her virginity.
The second act of the traditional cake cutting ceremony is when the bride and groom feed each other a small bite of cake. This can be romantic and sweet, symbolizing a commitment to provide for one another and a show of love and affection.
A wedding cake remains a staple at most modern-day weddings. In fact, it's not uncommon for newlyweds to preserve the top tier of their wedding cake for their one-year anniversary.
I like traditional wedding cake toppers with figurines dressed in formal attire representing the couple.
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The ancient Egyptians saw the ring as a powerful symbol: The circle, with no beginning or end, represented eternity, while its opening signified a gateway to worlds unknown. In short, a sign of immortal love—and how’s that for living happily ever after?
Vena amoris is a Latin name meaning, literally, "vein of love". Traditional belief established that this vein ran directly from the fourth finger of the left hand to the heart. This theory has been cited in Western cultures as one of the reasons the engagement ring and/or wedding ring was placed on the fourth finger, or "ring finger".
Prior to World War II, few engagement rings featured a center diamond. However, after the highly successful De Beers diamond marketing campaign, which began in the 1940s, engagement rings almost exclusively featured diamonds.
De Beers launched their "A diamond is forever" marketing campaign in 1948, in an effort to convince the public that diamonds were symbols of an everlasting marriage.
De Beers's marketing campaign proved successful, and by the 1950s, diamond engagement ring sales skyrocketed and the custom of proposing with a diamond ring became the norm.
I was with one of my college buddies at the jewelry store when he bought the ring he would use to propose to his girlfriend.
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The first documented instance of a princess who wore a white wedding dress for a royal wedding ceremony is that of Philippa of England, who wore a tunic with a cloak in white silk bordered with squirrel and ermine in 1406, when she married Eric of Pomerania. Mary, Queen of Scots, wore a white wedding dress in 1559 when she married her first husband, Francis, the Dauphin of France, because it was her favorite color, although white was then the color of mourning for French queens.
This was not a widespread trend, however: prior to the Victorian era, a bride was married in any color, black being especially popular in Scandinavia.
White became a popular option in 1840, after the marriage of Queen Victoria to Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, when Victoria wore a white gown trimmed with Honiton lace. Illustrations of the wedding were widely published, and many brides opted for white in accordance with the Queen's choice.
My mother is a seamstress in addition to being a cake decorator. She made my younger sister's wedding dress and also made a dress for one of my older sister's friends.
Perhaps the most sentimental tradition is for the bride to wear her mother's wedding gown - with updates and alterations, of course. But if the bride is selecting her own dress, she usually brings her mother along to say "yes" to it.
My older sister wore my mother's wedding gown with a few alterations.
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I've had friends and family members marry their same sex partner. I've seen people get a divorce and then marry the person who becomes their partner for life. I've seen a lot of happily married couples over the years.
I know that barring a miracle of some sort I will never get married. But, at least I got to take a few spins around the sun and experience this thing called life. I still like the idea of weddings though.
Of course, even if love happens, I could elope with her to Las Vegas. Nuptial bliss!
