Even children seem to appreciate the importance of wedding ceremonies and the covenant of marriage. They understand marriage vows and the exchanging of rings. They see marriages in movies, soap operas, dramas, and sitcoms. They even see marriages in cartoons. In Rabbit of Seville, Bugs Bunny tricks Elmer Fudd into marrying him. Bugs is the groom and Elmer is tricked into being the blushing bride. Then we hear part of the "Wedding March" by Mendelssohn being played.
And, of course, as children we attend real weddings. I believe I once saw a man get married in his military uniform. I asked my mother what that big wooden box was at the front of the church. It was a confessional booth. I'd never been in a Catholic church before.
Children sometimes pretend to get married. Perhaps a ring is even given to the bride. I believe a picture exists somewhere showing one of my male cousins officiating a marriage between two other children. Interestingly, my cousin became a pastor as an adult.
"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage."
"Here comes the bride,
All dressed in white,
Stepped on a banana peel,
and went for a ride."
"Here comes the groom, skinny as a broom."
Sometimes teenage lovers speak playfully about getting married one day. My high school
girlfriend and I spoke about it at times. She thought that perhaps we could sing "Almost Paradise" to each other as she walked down the aisle.
"Oh, almost paradise
We're knockin' on heaven's door
Almost paradise
How could we ask for more?
I swear that I can see forever in your eyes
Paradise"
We, of course, never got married. My college girlfriend and I spoke of marriage as well. Our talk of marriage was a bit more realistic. But her wealthy parents didn't much care for me. I think they would've liked to marry her off to a doctor or lawyer or perhaps even a duke. I'm sure they would have settled for a count or an earl. Perhaps they could have married her off to a land-rich cash-poor aristocrat. He could have gotten her wealth and she a title.
I did have a beautiful woman who wanted to marry me once not so long ago. She all but said, "If you ask for my hand, I will give it." But I was experiencing physical and emotional problems and was afraid I would make her miserable. I couldn't bear that thought so I never asked her to marry me. Soon she left my life never to be seen or heard from again.
As a little boy I was asked to be the ring bearer at a wedding. I even got to wear a tuxedo with a frilly shirt. I've been an usher a couple of times and I even took on the nontraditional role of being my younger sister's Man of Honor. Never fear. I wasn't asked to plan a bridal shower or a bachelorette party. I should've given a toast at the reception perhaps, but I guess I wasn't aware of all the duties expected of the position. So, I've been in some weddings but have never been the groom. What's that saying? Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
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I find traditional Christian wedding ceremonies quite interesting. Perhaps these lines seem familiar:
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God in the time of man’s innocency, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church: which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence and first miracle that he wrought in Cana of Galilee, and is commended of Saint Paul to be honorable among all men: and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God. Into this holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. If any man can show just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace."
I find the traditional vows rather sweet.
"In the name of God, I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. This is my solemn vow."
Some couples like to write their own vows which can be sweet.
Exchanging rings is nice.
"With this ring I thee wed, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."
And you know the rest.
"Those whom God hath joined together let no man put asunder.
By the power vested in me by God and man, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride."
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Couples have to be careful when writing their own vows. If your partner showers you with beautiful words of love and commitment and all you can say is "ditto" then you might find yourself sleeping alone on your honeymoon.
Remember that a vow is a pledge or promise and not just cute anecdotes and what you like about the other person.
For example:
Jane, you came into my life when I felt I had reached rock bottom. At first, I simply knew you as the cute woman behind the desk at the library. Little did I know I would soon be volunteering alongside you at the library. You came along when I needed love and hope the most. I wasn't sure why this beautiful woman cared about my wellbeing and wanted to spend time with me, but I needed that support, and you were there for me. You have stuck by me through the best and worst and loved all that I am. You help me to be the finest version of me that I can. As your husband, I promise to love you with the same determination and confidence you've given me. I vow to support you through more ups and downs. I pledge to commit myself to you and our relationship and the good I know will grow from it. I promise this all to you until I am no more.
Or do something nice like Oliver and Jenny in Love Story.
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Some wedding dances involve having a so-called money dance. Gentlemen can dance with the bride and give her some money.
The money dance is a cultural tradition at many wedding receptions where guests offer the newlyweds money to dance with them, or they shower the couple with money. The custom is to help establish the couple in their new life together, or to show how much they are loved and appreciated.
I recall seeing a money dance at the wedding of one of my father's cousins. The bride danced with different gentlemen and each man slipped her some money which I believe she stuffed in her dress. Then one of the groom's brothers decided to be funny. A door was on the far end of the dance floor that led outside. So, he began dancing with the bride and started dancing toward the door as if to steal her away. I think that stunt got a lot of laughs as I recall.
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Philadelphia-native movie star Grace Kelly met Monaco's Prince Rainier III while attending the Cannes Film Festival in 1955. After a yearlong romance, the couple made things official on April 19, 1956, in a lavish ceremony that put any other royal wedding ceremony to shame.
Grace Kelly's wedding dress has become the symbol of fairy-tale weddings, and one of the most-often-referenced wedding gowns in history.
On December 17, 1969, the novelty performer Tiny Tim - who famously sang "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" in a falsetto voice - married Miss Vicki on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show. The set was decorated with 10,000 tulips. At the time, it was the highest-ever rating for a talk show, pulling in 45 million viewers. In the 1960s, the Tiny Tim wedding audience was second only to the moon landing.
Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer married in July 1981 in a famously lavish royal wedding in St. Paul's Cathedral. The wedding, which was broadcast on television and seen by around 750 million people around the world, is still considered one of the most memorable royal weddings of all time.
Luke Spencer and Laura Webber Baldwin said “I do” on November 16, 1981, in front of 30 million guests in the soap opera General Hospital becoming daytime television's most legendary wedding of all time.
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Music is, of course, an important consideration when planning a wedding. Music sets a tone, stirs up emotions, and shares a message with your guests, so picking the right songs is key—as is making sure they’re a good fit for the ceremony you have planned.
Pachelbel's "Canon in D" and Bach's "Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring" are both lovely prelude pieces to play while your guests wait for the wedding party to enter the ceremony.
If I were to get married, I could have some nice processional music played as my groomsmen and I enter. If I were to proceed down the aisle to Chopin's "Funeral March" as sort of a joke, it's likely my bride would call off the wedding.
I must admit I like the traditional "Here Comes the Bride" as processional music for the bride. The "Bridal Chorus" from the 1850 opera Lohengrin by German composer Richard Wagner is a march played for the bride's entrance at many formal weddings throughout the Western world. In English-speaking countries, it is generally known as "Here Comes the Bride" or "Wedding March", but "wedding march" refers to any piece in march tempo accompanying the entrance or exit of the bride, notably Felix Mendelssohn's "Wedding March". Wagner’s piece was made popular when it was used as the processional at the wedding of Victoria the Princess Royal to Prince Frederick William of Prussia in 1858.
As for recessional music it's hard to beat Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" in my opinion although "Trumpet Voluntary" by Jeremiah Clarke is also beautiful as is Beethoven's "Ode to Joy."
When a college friend was married his father sang "The Lord's Prayer" at the ceremony and it was beautiful and powerful. My buddy also had a female friend who was a harpist, and she played her beautiful harp music that day.
"Wedding Song (There Is Love)" as sung by Noel Paul Stookey was popular at one time. It may have been performed at one of my sister's weddings.
A man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home And they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one. As it was in the beginning is now and til the end Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again. And there is Love, there is Love.
"A Thousand Years" as sung by Christina Perri has become a popular wedding song in recent years. Even if played as an instrumental it's still beautiful.
One step closer One step closer
I have died everyday, waiting for you Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed, I would find you Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more
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Wedding cakes find their history in ancient Rome. The groom concluded the ceremony by breaking a loaf of barley bread over the bride’s head, symbolizing fertility.
My mother is a professional cake decorator. I saw her design plenty of wedding cakes for her customers over the years. I believe she even made wedding cakes for both of my sisters adding to her wedding planning stress.
The cake cutting represents the first activity done as a couple, although historically the bride did this act alone to symbolize the loss of her virginity.
The second act of the traditional cake cutting ceremony is when the bride and groom feed each other a small bite of cake. This can be romantic and sweet, symbolizing a commitment to provide for one another and a show of love and affection.
A wedding cake remains a staple at most modern-day weddings. In fact, it's not uncommon for newlyweds to preserve the top tier of their wedding cake for their one-year anniversary.
I like traditional wedding cake toppers with figurines dressed in formal attire representing the couple.
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The ancient Egyptians saw the ring as a powerful symbol: The circle, with no beginning or end, represented eternity, while its opening signified a gateway to worlds unknown. In short, a sign of immortal love—and how’s that for living happily ever after?
Vena amoris is a Latin name meaning, literally, "vein of love". Traditional belief established that this vein ran directly from the fourth finger of the left hand to the heart. This theory has been cited in Western cultures as one of the reasons the engagement ring and/or wedding ring was placed on the fourth finger, or "ring finger".
Prior to World War II, few engagement rings featured a center diamond. However, after the highly successful De Beers diamond marketing campaign, which began in the 1940s, engagement rings almost exclusively featured diamonds.
De Beers launched their "A diamond is forever" marketing campaign in 1948, in an effort to convince the public that diamonds were symbols of an everlasting marriage.
De Beers's marketing campaign proved successful, and by the 1950s, diamond engagement ring sales skyrocketed and the custom of proposing with a diamond ring became the norm.
I was with one of my college buddies at the jewelry store when he bought the ring he would use to propose to his girlfriend.
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The first documented instance of a princess who wore a white wedding dress for a royal wedding ceremony is that of Philippa of England, who wore a tunic with a cloak in white silk bordered with squirrel and ermine in 1406, when she married Eric of Pomerania. Mary, Queen of Scots, wore a white wedding dress in 1559 when she married her first husband, Francis, the Dauphin of France, because it was her favorite color, although white was then the color of mourning for French queens.
This was not a widespread trend, however: prior to the Victorian era, a bride was married in any color, black being especially popular in Scandinavia.
White became a popular option in 1840, after the marriage of Queen Victoria to Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, when Victoria wore a white gown trimmed with Honiton lace. Illustrations of the wedding were widely published, and many brides opted for white in accordance with the Queen's choice.
My mother is a seamstress in addition to being a cake decorator. She made my younger sister's wedding dress and also made a dress for one of my older sister's friends.
Perhaps the most sentimental tradition is for the bride to wear her mother's wedding gown - with updates and alterations, of course. But if the bride is selecting her own dress, she usually brings her mother along to say "yes" to it.
My older sister wore my mother's wedding gown with a few alterations.
* * * *
I've had friends and family members marry their same sex partner. I've seen people get a divorce and then marry the person who becomes their partner for life. I've seen a lot of happily married couples over the years.
I know that barring a miracle of some sort I will never get married. But, at least I got to take a few spins around the sun and experience this thing called life. I still like the idea of weddings though.
Of course, even if love happens, I could elope with her to Las Vegas. Nuptial bliss!
Let me leave you with this:
"Here comes the bride
All dressed in white
Sweetly serene in the soft glowing light
Lovely to see
Marching to thee
Sweet love united for eternity."
