The Brut cologne was
flowing like wine. Brut – that wonderful scent in the green
bottle. Brut – the essence of man. Brut by Faberge. God knows I
had a bottle of it in my locker. Every wrestler had a bottle of it
in his locker. We were using prodigious amounts of it back then. We
didn't wear any hifalutin fragrance like Polo by Ralph Lauren.
Sometimes we called cologne “stink” and deodorant “pit.”
Perhaps I should have worn
Hai Karate simply because it would have been cool to say, “I'm
wearing Hai Karate.” And, if there's any truth in advertising, I'd
be fighting to keep the women off of me. That's where the karate
comes into play. Hai Karate – be careful how you use it.
I used Body on Tap Shampoo
back then. “Beer enriched Body on Tap Shampoo gives your hair
super body and the shine of your life.” “Brewed with one-third
real beer. But don't drink it!” “It makes your hair easy to
manage and a pleasure to style!” Sometimes I'd let my fellow
wrestlers use some. Chip, one of the seniors, would then refer to it
as the “community poo.” Chip was known to drink now and then so
someone would say, “Now Chip, don't drink that.”
When it was time to shower
after practice, the upperclassmen would say, “Freshman, go flush
the toilets!” They claimed this made the showers hotter. We just
ignored them. My older sister told me a junior guy and a freshman got into a fight about it once. Imagine two nude young men duking it out in the shower. Kevin, a junior, thought it would be funny to flush
the toilets himself. So, one night he kept running from the toilets
to the shower. He'd run to the toilets and flush them and then zip
back to the shower room. Of course everyone was cracking up
laughing.
Kevin was same guy who
liked to do a drum solo as a warm-up before wrestling. He kept a
pair of drum sticks in his locker. When we had a home meet and it
was time for us to get our uniforms on, he would take out the sticks.
He turned a plastic bucket over and used it for a drum. He also
used the bench as a drum and the metal lockers as cymbals. He would
start out slowly but soon he'd be flailing his arms wildly. Of
course this had us all cracking up laughing as well.
Most of us liked to stand
in front of the one small mirror hanging over the sink when combing
our hair after showering. One's coiffure has to look good for the
ladies. I was one of the shorter guys so sometimes a taller guy
would stand behind me and we'd share the mirror.
Was there ever talk about sex? Yes, of course.
“Men have been talking
about sex in locker rooms since they were 14. While women were
discussing ‘feminine’ things — makeup, relationships, feelings
—men were doing the manly things — counting conquests, keeping
score.” (Redbook, 1983) [1]
I had to put up with some
teasing when I was a sophomore and had a girlfriend from another
school nearby. One of the upperclassmen dubbed me Virgin Killer
after hearing some rumors about my girlfriend and me. He had some
misconstrued notion that she and I had been engaged in some carnal
activity. I guess I didn't really set him straight on the matter
either.
I told my girlfriend about the nickname thinking she might
get upset. She thought it was funny. Years later I found out the
German heavy metal band Scorpions had an album entitled Virgin Killer
released in 1976. The Scorpions released an album, Love at First
Sting, in 1984 after she and I had been dating only a few months. A
popular song from the album was “Rock You Like a Hurricane.”
Sometimes one guy would
try to provoke another guy by teasing him with a line like, “Hey,
man, I enjoyed spending time with your mom last night.”
Or there were backhanded compliments where someone might say,
“Hey, man, I don't care what EVERYONE else says about you. I think
you're an okay guy.”
It's difficult not to
notice how everyone looks naked when you have to undress and shower
together. Brad was built like a bodybuilder. Other guys were
scrawny. Damn, lift some weights dude! Some guys were brazen enough
to comment on another guy's
“package.” I got used to standing naked in a line with other wrestlers waiting to weigh in at tournaments.
What was it like in the girls locker room?
"I envisioned my female counterparts being ushered into individual cleansing facilities where there would be soft music playing, the water would come out at the perfect temperature, towels wouldn’t be needed because each compartment would be equipped with air-drying fans and there would be a gentle spritzing of the perfume of the girl’s choice on the way out. Attendants, probably freshmen, would take care of nail and hair maintenance and see that clothing was restored with nary a muss." [2]
What did the girls talk
about in their locker room?
I'm sure they were totally
mature and could maintain eye contact while standing there in the
buff having a 5-minute discussion about the assignment for history
class.
I'm sure they didn't sneak
a peak at each others bodies and pass judgment.
I'm sure they never
glanced “down there” to see what was trending in pubic hair.
“Wow! A Brazilian wax!”
However, in the movie Sixteen Candles, Samantha and her friend Randy are admiring Caroline Mulford's body declaring she must have flunked several years because of her well developed body.
INT. GIRL"S SHOWER ROOM
Girls are showering and dressing after gym. We see Sam and Randy standing in the doorway of the shower room with their arms folded across their chests to conceal their modest charms. Sam's shaking her head as she studies the mature physiques of the senior girls. Randy clucks her tongue.
SAM
That's unbelievable. I swear to God
Caroline Mulford had to flunk about
nine grades.
CLOSEUP - THE WORLD'S MOST PERFECT BREASTS
SAM AND RANDY
They hold their intense stares.
RANDY
It truly makes me ill. [3]
I seem to recall waiting for my older sister outside of the girls' locker room one evening. Some of the senior girls discovered I was waiting near the door and decided to tease the shy freshman boy.
The door was opened wide a couple of times and two of the senior girls yelled, “Hey, Tharin!” They were standing there modeling their slips and bras for me as I recall. I just blushed and averted my eyes. I'm not sure why the hell I didn't just leave and wait somewhere else. I think I did eventually.
Even though I got a couple of looks into the girls locker room, I don't recall ever having the desire to sneak a peek through a secret hole or anything. I don't recall any guys ever even saying anything like, "Man, I wish I could be invisible and hang out in the girls locker room when they're showering."
If nothing else, the movie Porky's taught us that young men shouldn't be peeping into girls locker rooms, especially when coach Beulah Balbricker happens to be in the shower area.
I already mentioned that my teammates and I weren't exactly sweet, innocent young men.
For a while I had a picture of a bikini-clad female hanging on the inside of my locker door. One day the coach spotted the picture and stopped to look a little closer.
He observed it keenly, appraising it. Then in a flash he tore it from the door exclaiming, “Damn it! This is a locker room, not a brothel!”
I'm just kidding. I never had any pictures of bikini-clad women. I just stole that line from the movie Patton.
General Patton thinks the
soldiers in his new command are lacking discipline. He inspects the
mess hall and then the enlisted soldiers barracks. As he walks
through the barracks, one young man realizes the general is present
and snaps to attention. General Patton notices a pinup hanging on the
wall behind the young man. The general leans in to get a closer look
and nods his head seemingly in approval.
The general begins to walk
away but turns and in a flash strikes the pinup from the wall with
his riding crop and calmly says, “This is a barracks. It's not a
bordello.”
I did truly see the coach furious on one occasion though. It was during my sophomore year and we were wrestling at home against nonconference rival Decorah. I think the coach had a beef with the coaches of Decorah. He didn't like the perceived arrogance of the Decorah team that came from a much larger school.
Well, we got beat pretty badly that night. After the meet was over we were ordered to go to the locker room and sit down on the wooden benches.
Coach was furious and laid into us. He said that we had wrestled like rank amateurs. He said that some wrestlers, including upperclassmen, had wrestled flat-footed and clumsily making stupid mistakes. We had embarrassed ourselves and shown ourselves to be incompetent asses not worthy of wearing varsity uniforms. He may have suggested that some members of the team had wrestled with their heads up their asses.
I am paraphrasing of course. I don't remember his exact words just that he was enraged.
He wasn't finished. He let us know that if we thought practice had been tough lately we hadn't seen anything yet. He told us that we were going to be worked so hard in the next practice that we'd think our asses we going to fall off. Then he punctuated his fury and ended his tirade by smashing his fist through a window in the locker room door.
I hadn't even wrestled that night. I had gotten a bye because Decorah didn't put anyone on the mat at my weight that night. Nonetheless, I felt the sting of his words as much as every other wrestler.
After the meet I was talking to my girlfriend from another school who happened to be there that night. As we were talking, coach appeared in the gymnasium and happened to look in our direction. I almost jumped out of my skin and walked about ten feet away from my girlfriend and pretended I didn't know her. She, of course, wondered what the hell my problem was.
I really was afraid the coach might yell at me. He might say, "Damn it! This is exactly what I'm talking about! You guys aren't wrestling in a focused manner because you're thinking about other shit like girls!"
He did actually mention her the next day. But, it was fine.
"Was that your girlfriend I saw you with last night? She's attractive."
And, he'd cooled off by the next day. He did not, in fact, work us until our asses fell off. I think at the wrestling banquet that year he joked that this season had cost him a little money because he had to pay to replace a broken window.
I spent a lot of time in locker rooms during my wrestling career.
Before a meet I'm in the locker room. I remove my clothes. My gym bag contains everything I need. I have my singlet and warm-up suit. I usually have a t-shirt and sometimes a sweatshirt. One time I brought along a t-shirt that looked like a tuxedo. Jeff thought it was pretty funny when I removed my warm-up top to reveal my tuxedo t-shirt. Hey, there's no reason you can't look classy at a sporting event. Sometimes I have a pair of shorts as well. I have the short socks I prefer and my athletic supporter. I dress and the put on my wrestling shoes. I leave the straps of my singlet down for now. I loop the chin strap of my headgear through one of my singlet straps and snap it so it hangs there at my side. I'm all set. The tension is building already in the pit of my stomach but the nerves won't really hit me until the national anthem is played.
When I wrestled at 98 lbs. I got to lead the team out of the locker room which was pretty cool. I'd exit the locker room, walk up the steps, and then run onto the mat to the cheer of the crowd. I was so nervous the first time though that I almost led the team into the coach's office instead of up the stairway.
The wrestlers locker room was at the bottom of a flight of steps. It was subterranean. It seemed appropriate for a bunch of wrestlers who thought they were tough guys. It was kind of like a dungeon or pit or hades. The coaches office also held the scale.
I had to go to a lot of early morning weigh-ins. I'd strip down quick by my locker and step on the scale in the coaches office. Then I was off to The Grill to have some pancakes.
The coaches door and the locker room door were right by each other. That's why I almost led the team into the coaches office the first time I wrestled a varsity match.
I had a decent freshman year, placing third at the conference tournament and earning a varsity letter.
I had a strong start to my sophomore season, but then cutting weight started to wear me down physically and emotionally. My coach was aware of this but he also thought I had another problem. He'd seen me hanging out with a certain female at some competitions and at school. At one tournament he looked at us sternly and told me it was time to warm up for my next match.
One evening after practice he found me alone in the locker room and decided to give me some advice.
"I think you need to stop spending so much time with your girlfriend. You'll have plenty of time for that after wrestling season is over."
I knew who he was talking about and she wasn't even really my girlfriend and I told him as much. I told him I figured he was going to say something. I think he was surprised that I said anything. I think he was surprised that I tried to defend myself. I was a very quiet person. He probably just expected me to nod and say “Okay.” But, I guess I surprised him. I think he even told my parents that we'd had a nice little conversation.
I had trouble making weight for the Starmont Tournament that year. I jumped rope and then they rolled me up in a mat for a while. I think O cried lying there inside that mat. I weighed again and was down to my competition weight. My coach said, "Congratulations, you made it." He almost sounded sarcastic when he said it. But, I suppose he was happy to have his star lightweight make weight.
After I made weight I took out two candy bars and a bottle of pop. Coach White said, "Just eat one of those candy bars. Then go get yourself some breakfast. I made it to the finals that day. I got beat by two points to place second.
My sophomore season I placed fourth in the conference and third at sectionals. It was a disappointing end to the season.
During my junior year I was dating a girl from Waukon. We wrestled Waukon each year in a dual meet. That year our team would be visiting their high school. My girlfriend knew which locker room we'd be using. She told me she was leaving me a note and what locker I could find it in. So, when we arrived and entered the locker room I tried to discreetly locate the locker and the note. I found the note. I don't recall what she wrote. I suppose she wished me luck and pledged her undying love for me. The match with my opponent ended in a tie that evening which worked out well for my girlfriend. She could be proud of her boyfriend without being hassled for consorting with the enemy who defeated one of their wrestlers.
Later that season I was wearing a mizpah pendant she'd given me. She, of course, had the other half. I placed it in my locker at the conference tournament which was held at Valley that year. When I got dressed that evening I accidently left it hanging in the locker. I think it may have crossed my mind to call the school and see if they had a lost and found box. But, perhaps I was too embarrassed to call or just didn't think it was worth the bother. It didn't matter much anyway because she dumped me after the conference tournament.
I placed second at the conference tournament that year and won sectionals. I was seeded first at districts. I was supposed to be the district champion but it didn't work out that way. I got beat first round. But, the guy seeded second also lost first round. So, I beat him in a second round match that went into overtime. This gave me a chance to "wrestle back" and still place second and qualify for the state tournament. All I had to do was beat the wrestler I had beaten to win sectionals. But, I was a wreck emotionally and worn out physically.
My opponent was from West Central and even some of his own teammates didn't want him to win. One his teammates approached me in the locker room and said something like, "Could you please kick his ass? He got cocky after he beat that guy first round and he's already claiming he's going to beat you and go to state."
I don't recall what I said. I think it just added to the pressure. At any rate, I lost the wrestle back match and wouldn't be going to state. How do you explain getting beaten by someone you'd already beaten soundly twice earlier in the season?
My coach was upset. My fans and family were probably disheartened and bewildered. And, then I was approached by the same West Central wrestler again in the locker room.
"Man, what happened?" he asked.
I just stood there not knowing how to answer.
"Were you just not ready?" he asked.
I just nodded my head which seemed to satisfy him and that was the end of it.
Being a wrestler is hard both physically and emotionally at times.
Vision Quest (1985)
Storyline
A
high school wrestler in Spokane, Washington has trouble focusing on
his training regimen when a beautiful young drifter takes up
temporary residence at his home.
In the 1985 movie Vision Quest, the protagonist Louden Swain drops two weight classes so he can wrestle the best wrestler in the state. He also falls in love with a young woman named Carla who Louden's father has taken on as a boarder in their house. At some point, Louden and Carla become intimate. Louden is ready to give up his dream.
Just before Louden's big match Carla disappears. Seemingly she continued on to San Francisco to pursue her art career like she'd originally planned. But, then she reappears and finds Louden alone in the locker room just before the big match. She tells him she left because she knew he was losing his focus and forgetting his goal because of her. She wants him to finish what he set out to do. Their relationship ends amicably and she'll be staying long enough to see him wrestle.
As she turns to walk out of the locker room she stops and says, "Hey Louden...kick his ass."
The scene went like this:
Carla
You here alone? Good. I was afraid I'd see 20 bare-ass boys. Did you make the weight?
Louden
You just took off. You didn't even say goodbye.
Carla
Look, If I hadn't left like I did you wouldn't even be here. You were ready to forget the whole thing.
Louden
What should I say, thank you?
Carla
I don't want you to say anything, Louden. I just think people ought do what they set out to do.
Louden
Do you?
Carla
Louden,
I didn't mean
to hurt you. I
never wanted to do that. I
just didn't know
how
to say goodbye. So, goodbye.
She turns to leave.
Louden
Carla. I'd do it all again.
Carla
So would I.
Carla leaves but reappears briefly.
Carla
Hey Louden...kick his ass. [4]
I don't recall ever having a girl visit me in the locker room although I may have had girls waiting for me after I got out of the locker room from time to time.
My senior season of wrestling started out kind of slow but I picked up steam and won the conference tournament in January in dominant fashion. Then I won the sectional tournament and headed into the district tournament as the number one seed.
One night after practice toward the end of the season I showered and left the locker room. The door closed behind me and I started up the steps but turned back for some reason. I was going to open the door to the locker room but happened to hear some other wrestlers and the coach talking about me.
"Tharin usually starts dying out this time of the season but this year he just keeps getting better and better," someone said.
I smiled to myself and then quietly walked back up the stairway.
While my competitors and I were waiting to get weighed in a locker room at the district tournament, I looked at them and thought they looked tired. They looked worn out and deflated. I thought to myself I can beat these guys. I am going to win this tournament.
And, so I did. I was champion that day and qualified for the state tournament.
My dad decided to visit me in the locker room after I won my final match. I guess he didn't want to wait for me to come out. I don't recall what was said. I suppose he just said, "Congratulations. Good job out there." I'm a quiet person so I don't suppose a whole lot was said. I was just touched that he'd come down to the locker room to see me.
I think Randy's dad had done the same thing a year earlier when Randy had qualified for the state tournament. I think my older sister had asked Randy about it and what it was like and Randy had said, "Yeah, it got kind of emotional."
Most of my time in locker rooms involved wrestling but I had gym class as well in high school. I don't recall much about the locker room atmosphere for gym class. I seem to recall a tough guy asking my friend Brad to do something unpleasant and Brad politely declining hoping the tough guy wouldn't get mad. Brad was kind of a class clown so the tough guy just laughed and said, "Brad, you're funny as hell."
On some other occasion I recall a classmate undressing and revealing that he was wearing some sort of fat burning belly wrap. It was a stomach reducing, fat burning belt of some sort. No one made fun of him. I think we just found it intriguing even though I was dubious about its fat burning abilities.
I had to use a small locker room a few times when I was in treatment for an eating disorder at the hospital. The treatment team had decided at some point that the eating disorder patients should have an aquatics class. I don't really know why. Was it because they wanted us to exercise in a manner that would be easy on our bones and joints? Or, was it because they believed that exercising in bathing suits would be good for battling body image issues?
Well, the pool was heated like a hot tub which was nice. I suppose I had crushes on some of the female patients at times and imagined being alone with them in the pool. Sometimes I was comfortable revealing my body wearing nothing but swim trunks and at other times not at all.
I probably found changing in that tiny locker room before and after aquatics surreal. I could have been out living a normal life in the real world. What the hell was I doing in this little hospital locker room? What the hell had brought me to this?
I'd considered entitling this piece "The Microcosm of the Locker Room". It kind of fits. I suppose the locker room is a "little world" involving a small community. But, is a locker room a miniature representation of society as a whole? Perhaps. After all, there's a lot more going on in locker rooms than people showering and changing clothes.
Some movies like Miracle contain great locker speeches.
This
speech was given by Herb Brooks (actor Kurt Russell) in the 2004
movie Miracle right before the U.S.A National Hockey team played the
Soviet Union National Hockey team in the 1980 Lake Placid Olympics.
"Great
moments are born from great opportunity. And that's what you have
here tonight, boys. That's what you've earned here tonight. One game.
If we played 'em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game.
Not tonight. Tonight, we skate with them. Tonight, we stay with them.
And we shut them down because we can! Tonight, WE are the greatest
hockey team in the world. You were born to be hockey players. Every
one of you. And you were meant to be here tonight. This is your time.
Their time is done. It's over. I'm sick and tired of hearing about
what a great hockey team the Soviets have. Screw 'em. This is your
time. Now go out there and take it."
That scene brings me to tears. That game was amazing. The amateurs defeating a team who were essentially professionals.
It was about so much more than beating the Soviets. America was in a malaise.
America really needed a moment of pride. It came that night.
"The
effect was immediate. Pandemonium reigned in the stands. Players
exuberantly celebrated. The Soviets looked on in shock and awe. Coach
Herb Brooks ran into the locker room and broke down in tears. When
the players went in, they broke out into "God Bless America."
They then took a call from President Carter (and they still had a
game to go to win Gold!)." [5]
Most adults probably use locker rooms at fitness centers and health clubs. Perhaps some of these places have a scale for patrons curious to see if they've lost any weight. Some people are more comfortable than others when it comes to getting naked, changing clothes, and showering.
"You’re going to do it. You’re going to take your clothes off in this room full of other adult women because you are an adult woman too and there will be no more of this junior high let-me-hide-my-lady-parts bullshit. You are paying $90 a month for this place, plus that extra fee for the specialized Pilates classes and the locker rental, and that means that you deserve to treat this place like your personal boudoir. You should not have to hide yourself away in a sticky bathroom stall in order to change into your yoga pants. No, ma’am. Today, things change. Today, you are going to let your nips fly." [6]
Some people leave a locker room feeling elated while others leave feeling deflated depending on how their workout went or what the scale shows. People experience happiness, sadness, anger, and jealousy in the locker room. Sometimes people fight. Other times a teammate offers a comforting word when you've experienced a defeat. Some young men walk with a confident swagger in a locker room while other young men are filled with insecurities. The same goes for women. Sometimes coaches yell in a locker room and sometimes they offer encouragement or comfort. Sometimes a halftime pep talk in the locker room is a game changer. I suppose navigating the world of the locker room is a bit like traveling through the real world.
That night at the disctrict tournament when my dad came down to congratulate me, some other wrestlers were still preparing for their final match. A wrestler from St. Ansgar High School was in the locker room warming up for his match at 138 lbs. He had a portable stereo with him and placed a cassette in it. Soon the theme song from Rocky, "Gonna Fly Now," was playing. We were all familiar, of course, with its opening fanfare and its soaring melody. There's only a few lyrics: "Getting strong now. Won't be long now." The St. Ansgar wrestler was trying to get psyched up for his match. He picked the perfect song. He won his final match and then went on to become a state champion that year.
"Gonna Fly Now" is rousing and inspirational. And yet, at that moment it was also peaceful. I didn't have to worry about getting psyched up. I'd already won. I was district champion. I was going to the state tournament. So, I could just relax and enjoy the music.
Notes
