The Roller Rink

Although roller skating had been around for decades, the 1970s saw a resurgence in popularity for this activity.  My family was swept up in this phenomenon as well.  My sisters and I went skating at the local roller rink many Sunday afternoons and occasionally my 4-H club, a church group, or a group from school would host a skating party.

It's quite possible I would have been introduced to roller skating anyway.  My parents met at a roller rink.  My grandfather had skated at that same location even when it was just a tent covering a wooden floor.  So, it was probably natural for them to introduce skating to me and my sisters.  The roller rink where they met is where I learned to skate.  My parents owned their own skates which they probably received as gifts.  Skating was a fairly popular activity then thanks in part to the booming economy following World War II.  I think the skating my parents did was a bit more elaborate than what I experienced.  Back then it was popular to two-step, schottische, waltz, bunny hop, and twirl on skates skating forward and backward.  The skaters even performed a Grand March.

In the middle 1970s, disco music catapulted roller skating back into the spotlight.  With customers flocking to rinks at a record rate, many entrepreneurs decided to build new state-of the-art roller skating centers.  Countless rinks were built with massive sound and lighting systems.  The older, more traditional rinks made few updates, but still profited from the roller-disco craze. 

"Disco is a musical style originating in the early 1970s.  It began to emerge from America's urban nightlife scene, where it had been curtailed to house parties and makeshift discotheques from the middle of the decade onwards, after which, it began making regular mainstream appearances, gaining popularity and increasing airplay on radio.  Its popularity was achieved sometime during the mid-1970s to the early 1980s."¹ 

I definitely remember being aware that this genre called disco music existed.  I think it kind of bothered me that I was never really sure which songs were considered disco.  I figured "Disco Inferno" had to be a disco song because of its title.  I think I knew that Donna Summer was the Queen of Disco.  I might have even known all of those Bee Gees songs featuring Barry Gibb's falsetto were disco.  At my young age I didn't realize disco was considered dance music.  I just considered it pop or rock.  Dance music wasn't part of my music vocabulary. 

"Disco marked the dawn of the modern era of dance-based popular music.  Growing out of the increasingly groove-oriented sound of early '70s and funk, disco emphasized the beat above anything else, even the singer and song.  Disco was named after discotheques, clubs that played nothing but music for dancing."²

During the late 1980s, some college friends and I used to go to a club called Spinners to socialize and dance.  Disco never really died.  It simply evolved into dance-pop and a variety of other dance-based genres.  It's still a little sad though that we missed the disco craze.  We never got to strut around like Tony Manero in Saturday Night Fever.  I was around during the disco era but too young to be dressing in a leisure suit and going to discotheques.

The word boogie was featured in a lot of songs back then like:
"Boogie Fever"
"Boogie Wonderland,"
"Boogie Oogie Oogie"
"Boogie Shoes"
"I'm Your Boogie Man"

Everyone wanted to get down back then.  Everyone wanted to boogie - even your parents.

"Hey, Mom.  What are you and Dad doing tonight?"

"We're going to go out and boogie!"

"What?! Noooo!

"Grown-ups had their discos, bars, and pool halls, but the children of the '70s had the roller skating rink.  The roller skating rink was around long before the '70s - they were often enormous with live organ music.  In the '70s they metamorphosed into a disco themed haven for teens.  They had everything you could want - loud music, poor lighting (all the better to get away with stuff), an equal measure of girls and boys, pinball machines and, later, a video arcade."³

The concept of the roller disco originated as a fad in the 1970s when the disco craze was at its height.  The marriage of skates, amplifiers, lights and loud music was a love match.  But, the local roller rink where I skated didn't pop up because of the disco craze.  It had been around for a long time providing wholesome family fun.  Dean's Roller Rink (formerly Art's Roller Rink) was nothing fancy but it was fun. 

Dean's Roller Rink was a nondescript big white building sitting along the highway between two small towns.  You entered the door and paid your admission before proceeding through a swinging door into the lounge area.  Most customers rented their skates so you walked over to the counter and someone asked you what size of skates you needed.  Boys wore black skates and girls wore white.  You put on your skates and you were ready to roll.  Although Dean gave a brief group lesson now and then, learning to skate was largely a DIY task.  I became proficient fairly quickly.  Soon I found my place among the weekend warriors, wall-clutching newbies, and teens looking for love.  I could roll with the best of them.  Sometimes I would see how fast I could go and end up wiping out.  I always hoped a girl would ask me to skate a couples skate with her although that didn't happen too often.

Dean didn't have a state-of-the-art sound system.  He just had a record player, microphone, and some speakers.  I guess one might have called it a public address system.  It was enough to fill the rink with the sound of music and Dean's voice.  Even though Dean's rink wasn't a roller disco I know he played some disco songs.  He played a lot of contemporary '70s music and a few older selections from the '50s and '60s as well.  I suppose when a new decade began he added some '80s music to the mix.  I remember a lot of the songs Dean played because his playlist didn't change a lot over the years as I recall. 

Here's a partial playlist for the roller rink.  Some of the songs I know I heard and some perhaps just seem like something I might have heard.

I Like Dreamin' - Kenny Nolan
All I Have to Do Is Dream - The Everly Brothers
Rhythm of the Rain - The Cascades
Hushabye - The Mystics
409 - The Beach Boys
You're Only Lonely - J. D. Souther
On and On - Stephen Bishop
Sentimental Lady - Bob Welch
Never Be the Same - Christopher Cross
Swayin' to the Music (Slow Dancin') - Johnny Rivers
Babe - Styx
Baby Come Back - Player
How Much I Feel - Ambrosia
Cool Night - Paul Davis
We'll Never Have to Say Goodbye Again - England Dan and John Ford Coley
Just Remember I Love You - Firefall
Sharing the Night Together - Dr. Hook
If You Leave Me Now - Chicago
Love Hurts - Nazareth
Lost Without Your Love - Bread
Without You - Harry Nilsson
Let Me Love You Tonight - Pure Prairie League
Who Loves You - The Four Seasons
Steal Away - Robbie Dupree  
Muskrat Love - Captain and Tennille
Ooh Baby Baby - Linda Ronstadt
Midnight Blue - Melissa Manchester
We're All Alone - Rita Coolidge
Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue - Crystal Gayle
Shadows in the Moonlight - Anne Murray
Right Time of the Night - Jennifer Warnes
Lotta Love - Nicolette Larson
Hopelessly Devoted to You - Olivia Newton John
Reunited - Peaches & Herb
Kiss on My List - Daryl Hall and John Oates
Keep On Loving You - REO Speedwagon
Heart of Glass - Blondie
The Loco-Motion - Grand Funk Railroad  
Freeze Frame - The J. Geils Band
Saturday Night - Bay City Rollers
We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions - Queen
Don't Bring Me Down - Electric Light Orchestra
Dancing Queen - ABBA
Shake Your Booty - KC and the Sunshine Band
Celebration - Kool and the Gang
Disco Inferno - The Trammps
Funkytown - Lipps Inc.
How Deep Is Your Love - Bee Gees
I Just Want to Be Your Everything - Andy Gibb
Hot Stuff - Donna Summer
If I Can't Have You - Yvonne Elliman
I'll Never Love This Way Again - Dionne Warwick

It's interesting that Linda Ronstadt's cover of "Ooh Baby Baby" was a track on her Living in the USA album.  The front cover photograph on the album shows Ronstadt on roller skates.  So, a song I recall hearing at the roller rink was actually on an album with a woman on roller skates.

And, Olivia Newton-John did some roller skating in Xanadu (1980).

Most of the time the patrons skated counterclockwise around the rink.  To add to the fun, there were couple skates, hokey pokey, and limbo skates.  There was a skate routine involving a flashlight.  The guys would line up in the middle of the floor while the ladies skated around the perimeter.  Dean would flash the light on a female and the guy would skate one lap with her and get back in line. 

The limbo was fun but I couldn't go too low.  "Limbo lower now.  How low can you go?"

The hokey pokey was led by Dean and was fun as well.

You put your right leg in
You put your right leg out
You put your right leg in
And you shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey
And you turn yourself around
That's what it's all about!

It was common to hear Dean address us over the PA system from time to time.
"Clear the floor, please.  Clear the floor, please."  Then after the floor was clear he might say, "The next skate is couples skate, ladies' choice."

One of my female classmates went skating often on Sunday afternoons as well.  Let's call her Molly.  I think she probably owned her own skates.  She could skate equally well going forward and backward.  When we skated together during a couples skate she would sometimes skate backward while we held hands.

On one occasion some of my other classmates were at the rink.  I was hanging out with some of the guys by one of the pinball machines when a couples skate was announced.  I saw Molly skating toward us said something like, "Oh, no.  Here comes Molly."  I don't recall if I was feigning disinterest to seem cool or if I really didn't feel like skating right then.  They urged me to hide behind the pinball machine but it was too late.

"Do you want to skate?" she asked.

"No," I said quietly. 

I don't think I'd ever turned her down before.  The combination of my rebuff and the guys' laughter probably really hurt her or really pissed her off.  She skated off in a huff.  I guess she must have forgiven me because she asked me to a homecoming dance a few years later.  I turned her down then too.  What an asshole I was, huh?

I recall going to the rink one evening when I was a seventh grader.  I had a girlfriend at the time.  I recall another girl asking me to skate which I thought seemed odd.  She told me that my girlfriend had asked her to skate with me.  Then I saw my girlfriend skating with one of my classmates.  What the hell is going on here? I thought.  I think she dumped me for him not long after that  although I never blamed it on the skating rink.

My grandpa drove me and my sisters to the rink occasionally.  He would usually skate as well.  Sometimes he would skate with one of my sisters or another amiable young woman.  Although most guys would hold their skating partner's hand or put an arm around her my grandpa did things differently.  He would put one arm around his partner's waist and hold her near arm in front of him as though they were figure skating.  I guess that must have been how they did it in his earlier days.

If you were hungry or thirsty, you could buy refreshments like soda and candy at the front counter.  I recall them selling really long licorice whips.  I think if you requested a "suicide" they would mix all the flavors (e.g. cola, root beer, orange, lemon-lime) from the soda fountain into your cup.

I think the rink had one or two pinball machines in the lounge area near the snack bar.  I don't recall Dean's rink ever having any video games - not even Space Invaders.  That's okay, though, because we were there to skate.

Another roller rink I went to a few times was the Harmony Roller Rink in Harmony, Minnesota.  Cool name for a town, huh?  I think I went there at least twice with my 4-H club.  I think I was a fourth or fifth grader the first time I skated there.  I recall two older girls asking me to skate with them during a couples skate.  They may have been in junior high or even high school.  I guess I was a still a cute kid at that point in my life and they must have thought it would be fun to skate with some cute little kid.  The funny thing is that I think my 4-H club went back to the rink again the following year and on the night we were there those same two girls happened to be there as well.

"Do you remember us?" they asked.  I said I did and I imagine they asked me to skate again.  When I got older I didn't have beautiful older girls asking me to skate.  I guess I lost that cute kid charm.

I didn't skate quite often enough to justify buying skates although I looked at them in catalogues sometimes.  I never read any roller skating magazines like the aptly named Roller Skating although I think I ordered a copy of The Skating Rink by Mildred Lee from one of those school book clubs.  I only read some of it but I had to buy it because of the cover I guess.

I didn't skate much during high school.  In fact, I think the last time I skated may have been during my freshman year.  One night I skated a lot with my girlfriend who happened to be there.  Another evening she wasn't there and I skated with a girl from another school who asked me to skate with her.  One of my friends also skated with her and made it a point of telling her that I had a girlfriend.  That was true but it still kind of irked me that he wanted it to be clear to her that he was available and I wasn't.  When I was old enough to drive, I never took a date roller skating or even went with a group skating.  It was a new era.  I was busy with other activities and I guess skating just didn't seem cool any longer. 

I suppose I was a bit of a snob when I turned my nose up at inline skates when they became all the rage during my college years and after.  How could inline skates beat a good pair of quad (four-wheeled) skates?  I guess I was already nostalgic about skating even then.  I imagine inline skates are a lot of fun.  Perhaps someday I will try skating in a pair although I think I'd still rather skate in a plain old pair of roller skates.

I was just a kid in the 1970s but I remember some of the teenagers from that period.  I've also seen pictures online of teens who roller skated and frequented rinks during that time period.  Bill Yates, a photographer, took some interesting pictures at the Sweetheart Roller Skating Rink in Florida during the early '70s.

https://www.sweetheartrollerskatingrink.com/

What if I had been a teenager during the '70s (especially during the disco craze) and went skating often?  Would it have been different? 

* * * 

I see her sitting there on a bar stool next to the counter.  She has long blond feathered hair like Farrah Fawcett.  She's wearing a halter top and some hip-huggers.  She's wearing a pair of white skates with pink pom poms.

I glide over and sit on the stool next to her.  A friendly woman walks over and asks if I want anything.

"I'll take a suicide," I say.

The blond glances over at me.

"A suicide?  Are you sure you can handle that?" asks the pretty blond.

"I drink one almost every time I'm here.  I'm very adventurous," I reply.

"I like your yellow wheels," she says.

"Polyurethane," I say.

"I think mine have clay wheels.  But, at least they're mine and I don't have to rent," she says.

"I like your pink pom poms.  Such a girly touch," I say.

"Well, I am a girl," she says.

"Oh, I noticed.  Believe me, I noticed.  Nice halter top by the way," I say.

"It's actually a crop top and you're being kind of forward don't you think?"

"I'm just saying that not everyone can get away with showing off their belly button."

"YOUR shirt is interesting."

"Interesting?"

"It's very colorful.  It looks silky."

She reaches out and feels the fabric of my shirt and says, "Nice."

"It's fifty percent polyester and fifty percent acetate."

"Well, I wouldn't stand too close to anyone lighting up a cigarette."

"Ha ha.  I'll be careful."

"What kind of car do you drive?"

"Now who's being forward?"

"I think it's a fairly common question."

"I drive a black Trans Am like the one Burt Reynolds drove in Smokey and the Bandit."

"Are you serious?"

"No, just kidding.  I do own a Monte Carlo though."

"Oh my God!  You better not be joking this time.  I love Monte Carlos."

"I'm totally serious.  It's a black Monte Carlo."

"Does it have a cassette deck?"

"Of course."

"You have to give me a ride sometime."

"Absolutely."

Over the PA system a voice says, "Clear the floor, please."  A moment later the voice says, "The next skate is a couples skate, ladies' choice."

Soon the rink is filled with the Bee Gees singing "How Deep is Your Love."  The blond says, "I love this song."  She grabs my hand and says, "Come on!  You have to skate with me."

We glide onto the floor hand in hand and begin to skate.  Soon she seamlessly switches to skating backward.  As we glide along holding hands and looking into each other's eyes and the world around us disappears, I can't think of anywhere on Earth I'd rather be at that moment. 

Notes 

1 "Disco." Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disco Accessed 19 March 2018.
 
2 "R&B>>Contemporary R&B>>Disco." All Music. https://www.allmusic.com/subgenre/disco-ma0000002552 
Accessed 19 March 2018.

3 "Rollermania #3." Retrospace. 14 May 2010. http://www.retrospace.org/2010/05/rollermania-3.html
Accessed 20 March 2018.

 
 







 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

The Weekly Session

I pull into the parking ramp at the hospital.

"Please press the button and take the parking ticket," says the electronic female voice.

I push the button and it spits a ticket out.

"Please take the parking ticket," she reminds me.  I grab the ticket.

"Please enter following the guidance."

The barrier gate arm raises and I drive in.  I'm kind of compulsive so I drive up to Level 5 and park in my usual spot.  I walk to the elevator vestibule and press the down button.  I get in the elevator and a different female voice says, "Going down."

I get off on Level 2 and follow a walkway that takes me to the skyway entrance.  I walk across the glass-and-steel skyway to reach the Family Pavilion.  I often see a Service Ambassador in a red blazer giving people directions.  I walk briskly past her because I know how to get most anywhere in the hospital.  I take a right and traverse another short skyway to reach the main hospital.  I enter the second floor and the door to the Behavioral Health Clinic is on my left.

I'm not sure why the term behavioral health is used instead of mental health.  Perhaps the term behavioral health seems less stigmatizing or perhaps it's simply more encompassing.

In addition to the behavioral health clinic, the hospital has psychiatric outpatient clinics and psychiatric inpatient units.  The services one uses depends on his or her needs.  A psychiatrist is a medical doctor where as behavioral health counselors include a diverse group of healthcare professionals.  For instance, my therapist is an ARNP (Advanced Registered Nurse Practitioner).

If you had told me...

Have you ever heard someone begin a sentence with that phrase?

If you had told me in my younger days that as an adult I'd be seeing a therapist on a weekly basis I would never have believed you.  In fact, in college I majored in psychology and had considered becoming a therapist or counselor myself.

I enter the waiting room/reception area and walk up to the desk to check in.  The same receptionist/administrative professional usually checks me in.  She's very nice and has been performing her job for many years.  Over the years she's been accompanied by other receptionists.  Sometimes these assistants are pretty college-aged females.  One of these woman had a high-pitched breathy voice kind of like Marilyn Monroe.  She was beautiful but didn't seem conceited at all.  She was really sweet.  I'm usually quiet but when one of these young women are handling my registration I seem to find my voice and go into conversation mode.
 
"How are you?  Nice weather, huh?"
 
I guess it's a guy thing.

One day while I was sitting in the waiting room a young man walked in with a member of his support staff.  I assumed he was living in a group home or facility of some sort.  He had a replica championship wrestling belt slung over one of his shoulders.  It made me smile.  I thought Hell yeah!  Be proud and confident!  Show them what you're made of, man!
 
Sometimes I see pretty young women - like the cute ginger haired woman-sitting in the waiting room and I assume they're eating disorder patients.  I'm usually right because eventually Dr. B comes to the door and retrieves them for their counseling session.  Dr. B and my therapist oversee the eating disorders program at the hospital and do individual therapy as well.  Occasionally I see patients in the waiting room that I was on the inpatient unit with at one time or another.

The first thing my therapist does is check my weight. I always step on the scale backwards because that's how they do it on the inpatient unit. They don't want you to see how much you weigh and become obsessed about it. Of course, in this case, I already know what I weigh because I'm living in the real world and can weigh myself at home. I don't actually know if it's mandatory to step on the scale backwards with my therapist.  I think it might be the patient's choice.  But, I still step on the scale backwards anyway.

 

 

In her office I lie down on a couch...

No, I'm just kidding.  There's no couch.  This isn't psychoanalysis with Sigmund Freud.  I just sit in a chair and we talk for about an hour.

So, here's the deal...

Nothing magical happens in therapy.  At least not for me.  I've never had any eureka or aha moments.  I've never been struck by sudden insight although I've gained some insights from our weekly sessions.  I've never had any sort of extraordinary catharsis where I screamed or wept although I have felt relief at times when sharing my thoughts and feelings in a safe and nonjudgmental environment.  

I'm not disparaging therapy.  Therapy helps many people.  I just think that some people have the idea it's miraculous when it's usually not.  It's not a magic bullet and it doesn't offer a "cure" per se.  It can involve some hard work and commitment if you take it seriously.  I've had little choice at times as to whether I wanted to go to therapy sessions because of legal reasons. 

It often seems as though I get nothing from therapy but I continue to go.  It's been part of my life for a while now and if I go without it for too long my life seems to eventually fall apart.  If nothing else I guess it's nice to know that someone is keeping an eye on me.  As long as I have to meet with a therapist weekly my weight is unlikely to get dangerously low again.  I know if my weight gets down to a certain agreed upon level I'll be sent back to the hospital whether I want to go or not.
 
My therapist is pretty laid back.  She has long red hair and fully admits to being an old hippie.  She doesn't shock easily.  If I want to talk about sex, for example, it's no big deal.

Sometimes I ask, "What I say in this room stays in this room, right?"  She always answers in the affirmative.  I know our sessions are confidential and I don't have any reason to ask but I still do at times.  Sometimes she can relate to what I'm going through with an anecdote of her own.  Or, sometimes she simply assures me I did the right thing in a certain situation.   

Sometimes we need assurance.  We need someone on our side.  When a former college girlfriend's parents made her break up with me it was hard to take.  I called a friend just to tell him what had happened because I didn't know what else to do.  Being a good friend he said, "What?  Well, fuck that!  Get in your car and come over here and hang out with me."  That's just what I needed to hear at that point.  I didn't need someone to tell me I would get over it.  I just needed a little support.

My therapist doesn't always agree with my actions and often points out distorted thinking.  She is an advocate for cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).  She cares a lot about my thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions and their effect on my feelings and behaviors.  She doesn't give me homework assignments although I do share mood logs, thought records, and journal entries with her at times.  If I have a situation between counseling sessions that really triggers some strong emotions I often think to myself Well, at least I have something to share in my next therapy session.

Sometimes I'll write or say something that impresses her and she looks at me and says, "Why don't you write a book?  Why don't you have a PhD?  Don't you want to find love and get married?  Why aren't you doing more with your life?"  I guess it just saddens her sometimes to counsel someone she thinks could be doing more with his life.

One time at work I mentioned to a coworker that I had been in treatment for depression and an eating disorder.  Then my coworker shared her own story of a suicide attempt and being on a psychiatric unit.  I was surprised because she seems so together and happy and energetic. 

One evening not long ago a coworker came to my work area to talk to me after her break.  I was feeling kind of down and in a moment of weakness I blurted out, "I still see a therapist on a weekly basis.  What do you think of that?"

She said, "It's no big deal.  I think everyone has to deal with stuff."  Then she admitted that she had suffered from anxiety when first moving to Iowa and being so far from home.  She had met with a therapist herself a few times to help get a handle on her anxiety.

It's interesting how accepting and supportive people can be.  It's also interesting how many people have utilized therapists and psychiatrists to help them with mental health issues.

Sometimes before or after my therapy session I visit the Patients' Library.  I just walk down the hallway and get on Elevator F and take it to the 8th floor.  I like to go there sometimes to use the desktop computers.  Plus, I used to volunteer there so it's nice to stop in and say "Hi" to the library director.  She always seems happy to see me.

The Rooftop Café and the outdoor patio are nearby on the 8th floor as well.  I used to meet with a men's eating disorder support group in the lounge by the café.  Sometimes, weather permitting, we would meet out on the patio.

Sometimes while walking the halls or riding the elevator I see young adults wearing badges that read Doctor.  It makes me feel funny sometimes.  I'm not really jealous exactly.  I never wanted to be a doctor anyway.  I think I'm intelligent enough that I could have completed a PhD program.  I guess I'm just jealous that everything seems to be working out for him or her and at such a young age.  Of course the doctors I see in the hall may be dealing with any number of personal problems as well.  I know everyone has to deal with stuff even my therapist.

Sometimes while on the second floor I glance toward the hall where the occupational therapy kitchen is located.  I had to cook many meals there.  The treatment team wants patients to know how to buy groceries and cook meals when they're back on their own in the real world after treatment.  Just beyond the OT kitchen are a couple of psychiatric units.  I don't like to think too much about the time I spent on those units.

Sometimes I encounter psychiatric aides or recreational therapists I know from inpatient treatment.  I usually chat with them briefly and let them know how I'm doing.  Sometimes I pass by doctors that I think know me.  Perhaps they don't remember me or they think it's best to keep a distance if I'm no longer in their care.

I see food service workers pushing stainless steel meal delivery carts.  I know the carts are filled trays of food.  On the unit we had to place our empty trays back into the cart after each meal.  It's hard to see a food cart and not think of the inpatient unit.

Recently I ventured into the new children's hospital.

What is this?  Am I in a mall?  A department store?  A space ship?  All of this space and glass and light!  Artwork!  A children's library!  A theater!  A café, coffee shop, and gift shop!

And that's just the lobby!

That reminds me of something I read in a book a long time ago.

"After you finish reading this sentence, close your eyes and imagine a perfect place for healing, for recovering from any disease.  Did the place resemble a typical hospital?  Or did your imaginary healing place include sun, light, humor, laughter, music, fresh air, warm people, warm colors, patient involvement, joy?"1

Of course I know many children and their families are grappling with painful and serious health issues.  But, I know some miraculous healing is taking place as well.  Why be stuck in a place that feels industrial, cold, sterile and depressing?  Do we need to have a dismal, sterile atmosphere to heal? 

A lot of artwork can be seen in the halls of the main hospital thanks to Project Art.  One piece of art I used to pass a lot looked simply like a big blue glass bowl.  In fact, although the work is untitled, I think the piece is known as "the blue bowl" and was created by artist Dick Huss.  I seem to remember Danielle joking that it was her cereal bowl.  I met Danielle in inpatient treatment and one of her favorite foods (when she was willing to eat) was cereal.  So, whenever I see that big blue bowl I still think of Danielle.

As I prepare to leave the hospital on the second floor, I pass some artwork just before entering the skyway.  It's entitled Windows Project.  

"Windows by artist Jane Gilmor consists of a series of metal drawings and writings made in collaboration with pediatric patients and their families. In a series of weekly workshops over a one-year period, children at UIHC were invited to create images and writing related to their experiences, feelings and fantasies while hospitalized."2

Originally a structure was made of the metal panels.  Now, pictures of some of the panels hang on the wall at the hospital.  I stop and read my favorite panel sometimes.

"I'm Chris and I want to be a conservation officer and a carpenter and have a phd.  I want to save animals.  I'm drawing this with my wrong hand because of my I.V. is in my good hand due to just having a pacemaker put in yesterday.  I love eagles."3

It always makes me smile to read those words because it represents hope and youthful optimism and enthusiasm.  It's inspiring how this pediatric patient was still enthusiastic about future possibilities.

 When I stop at the cashier's booth on the way out of the ramp I am greeted by a real person.  I hand them my ticket and pay my fee.  The attendant usually tells me to have a nice day and I tell them to do the same even though he or she is stuck in a small metal box.
 
On a good day my weight is stable and I haven't been threatened with hospitalization.  Perhaps I've even gained some insight that day or at least had the opportunity to vent.  The sun is shining and a good song is playing on the classic rock station.  I breathe a sigh of relief and smile knowing I have gotten through another week of this crazy thing we call life.

Notes

1 Pearsall. Paul. Super Immunity: Master Your Emotions and Improve Your Health. Ballantine, 1987.

2 Gilmor, Jane. Windows 95. Public Art Archive.  http://www.publicartarchive.org/work/windows-95#date. Accessed 5 March 2018.

3 Gilmor, Jane. Windows 95/Windows Pass. http://janegilmor.com/gallery.php?dir=Archives/1990/6&image=10. Accessed 5 March 2018.